To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late
We sometimes keep on complaining that there is "never enough time' to do the things we want to do. Or, we lament our luck when we are 'at the wrong place and the wrong time'. But how many of us really set aside our time to do the things that must be done, as well as for the things we want to do.
Time and tide wait for no man.
As as the hands of time pass by, and the sand slip down the hourglass, I suppose I must consciously change some of my bad habits. I will need to get down to doing my 'must do' very quickly, so that I can choose to indulge in my likes without feeling guilty.
With this Syawal, it is a time to seek forgiveness and start anew.
It is time to let go of the past, and look forward to the future, while fully living in the present.
It is a time to count my blessings.
It is a time to connect and re-connect with family and friends.
It's also the time to forgive and let go.
Selamat Hari Raya to one and all.
Maaf Zahir & Batin.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Why work against us?
The moment we decided to enforce tighter controls, we were bombarded with incessant calls by irate parents who demand answers why we are 'barbaric' and 'callous'. The issue? Hair.
Granted, a lot of the young ones today question the rationale of them not being able to adopt the lengths and styles they wish.
"What does hair length have got to do with studying?" is the rousing cry of protest.
I will throw this back to you to ponder.
"What does hair length have not got to with with studying?"
It goes back to not being able to see the bigger purpose; the bigger picture. Do you realise you cannot separate the trees from the forest.
What is the whole purpose of education?
Why do you come to school?
As educators, we have to uphold our responsibilities, duties and obligations.
If you think that we merely punish, and are very unreasonable, think again.
If you really cannot agree with us, and continue to undermine us, ... it seems that we are deemed as unsuitable to be the ones to educate your child.
Then please...raise your child.
For sad will be the day should I decide to simply deliver knowledge mechanically in class...and not be a 'teacher'.
Granted, a lot of the young ones today question the rationale of them not being able to adopt the lengths and styles they wish.
"What does hair length have got to do with studying?" is the rousing cry of protest.
I will throw this back to you to ponder.
"What does hair length have not got to with with studying?"
It goes back to not being able to see the bigger purpose; the bigger picture. Do you realise you cannot separate the trees from the forest.
What is the whole purpose of education?
Why do you come to school?
As educators, we have to uphold our responsibilities, duties and obligations.
If you think that we merely punish, and are very unreasonable, think again.
If you really cannot agree with us, and continue to undermine us, ... it seems that we are deemed as unsuitable to be the ones to educate your child.
Then please...raise your child.
For sad will be the day should I decide to simply deliver knowledge mechanically in class...and not be a 'teacher'.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Procrastinator
Dear One-who-leaves-things-to-the-last-minute,
We all seem to pay dearly for the choices we make right?
In your case, your inefficiency boils down to one thing. You lack self-belief.
You seem to think that you thrive on that last minute adrenaline rush. In reality, if panic is the motivating force, then the kind of work you do, is not likely to be your best. Be grateful that your brains are able to function...but don't you think that you are short-changing your own self?
It is so easy to come up with all kinds of excuses.
Why don't you just get your priorities straight? Do you really enjoy living on the edge? Don't you think that your life may just be more fulfilling if you are able to put things in focus...and meet your deadlines one at a time?
Sometimes, I wonder about you.
Is this the way to go?
Just me
Alter Ego
We all seem to pay dearly for the choices we make right?
In your case, your inefficiency boils down to one thing. You lack self-belief.
You seem to think that you thrive on that last minute adrenaline rush. In reality, if panic is the motivating force, then the kind of work you do, is not likely to be your best. Be grateful that your brains are able to function...but don't you think that you are short-changing your own self?
It is so easy to come up with all kinds of excuses.
Why don't you just get your priorities straight? Do you really enjoy living on the edge? Don't you think that your life may just be more fulfilling if you are able to put things in focus...and meet your deadlines one at a time?
Sometimes, I wonder about you.
Is this the way to go?
Just me
Alter Ego
Monday, September 14, 2009
Dance
This is for one of you who assured me that I should keep on writing stories. (Thank you for believing)
Dance
Lydia could feel the frustration building up within her. She could not understand why Mrs. Peterson was not paying attention to her. Was she not the star of the show? Within months of her joining the little ballet troupe, she has outshone and outperformed everyone else.
Unconsciously, she pouted as she watched the grey-haired instructor talking animatedly to a smaller girl who was looking very earnest. Mousy Melody. Lydia had wondered why this awkward, gangly and shy girl was part of the company in the first place. It had been so obvious to Lydia that Melody was a misfit. Not only did she not have the lithe bearings of a ballerina, she was the clumsiest person she had ever met.
Lydia had never really noticed Melody’s presence. The girl, for obvious reasons, always stood at the back of the class. While everyone flexed their limbs and warmed up, Melody sat and watched; her eyes big with wonder. When they pirouetted and went through the various movements, the girl would have her hands firmly fixed to the floor, and closed her eyes.
Everything about that girl screamed wrong. While the other young ladies spoke in low gracious tones, only once did Lydia hear a low guttural laugh coming from Melody. Lydia was repulsed for what followed after that sounded very much like the slurred speech of a drunken man. Yet the others had gravitated towards her, and often, Lydia would see people standing very close to Melody, speaking directly to her face.
Melody – what a cruel joke. To be christened as such, and yet without an ounce of rhythm and grace in her. Lydia turned away. She had better get back to practicing for her solo. She imagined herself on centre stage; with the spotlights following her.
“The best dancer amongst you,” Mrs. Peterson interrupted Lydia’s reverie. “…is not the one who is the most skilful, nor the prettiest, nor the most agile. It starts with a passion from your heart, and when you dance, you do not perform, you become one with the music. So find your soul. Today, someone wants to try. Melody, take your place.”
Lydia smirked. She thought she was going to enjoy this show. Hesitantly, Melody took to the dance floor the others had cleared for her. She looked very nervous. She faltered at first, her movements disjointed. Lydia felt it was even too embarrassing to watch. Then Melody took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began gliding around.
A hush fell over the room. It was eerie. There were no concertos, no beats; no sounds. Yet the transformation came before Lydia eyes, a nimble nymph with wings on her feet. Melody was not necessarily a ballerina, but she swayed as if her body and soul were one with the music – a music that was not there. Her moves were one with her emotions, and she was compelling to watch.
She fell to her knees when she ended, and opened her eyes. Tears streamed down her face. “I danced,” she said, softly. “I can.” It was a moment of triumph.
It was only when the applause died down that Lydia finally made the connection. It all made sense now. She bowed her head in shame as she felt that she has been taught the most humbling dance lesson ever. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Mrs. Peterson leaned to whisper in her ear.
“You know now, don’t you? You see, Melody is deaf. But it does not mean she cannot hear the music. She shuts her eyes and imagines herself in that world of sound, and her body responds accordingly. She thinks she dances in her dreams, and today, she showed that in reality, it can be done. We, who can see and hear, must find ourselves from within. Dance from your heart. You will be great one day.”
Dance
Lydia could feel the frustration building up within her. She could not understand why Mrs. Peterson was not paying attention to her. Was she not the star of the show? Within months of her joining the little ballet troupe, she has outshone and outperformed everyone else.
Unconsciously, she pouted as she watched the grey-haired instructor talking animatedly to a smaller girl who was looking very earnest. Mousy Melody. Lydia had wondered why this awkward, gangly and shy girl was part of the company in the first place. It had been so obvious to Lydia that Melody was a misfit. Not only did she not have the lithe bearings of a ballerina, she was the clumsiest person she had ever met.
Lydia had never really noticed Melody’s presence. The girl, for obvious reasons, always stood at the back of the class. While everyone flexed their limbs and warmed up, Melody sat and watched; her eyes big with wonder. When they pirouetted and went through the various movements, the girl would have her hands firmly fixed to the floor, and closed her eyes.
Everything about that girl screamed wrong. While the other young ladies spoke in low gracious tones, only once did Lydia hear a low guttural laugh coming from Melody. Lydia was repulsed for what followed after that sounded very much like the slurred speech of a drunken man. Yet the others had gravitated towards her, and often, Lydia would see people standing very close to Melody, speaking directly to her face.
Melody – what a cruel joke. To be christened as such, and yet without an ounce of rhythm and grace in her. Lydia turned away. She had better get back to practicing for her solo. She imagined herself on centre stage; with the spotlights following her.
“The best dancer amongst you,” Mrs. Peterson interrupted Lydia’s reverie. “…is not the one who is the most skilful, nor the prettiest, nor the most agile. It starts with a passion from your heart, and when you dance, you do not perform, you become one with the music. So find your soul. Today, someone wants to try. Melody, take your place.”
Lydia smirked. She thought she was going to enjoy this show. Hesitantly, Melody took to the dance floor the others had cleared for her. She looked very nervous. She faltered at first, her movements disjointed. Lydia felt it was even too embarrassing to watch. Then Melody took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began gliding around.
A hush fell over the room. It was eerie. There were no concertos, no beats; no sounds. Yet the transformation came before Lydia eyes, a nimble nymph with wings on her feet. Melody was not necessarily a ballerina, but she swayed as if her body and soul were one with the music – a music that was not there. Her moves were one with her emotions, and she was compelling to watch.
She fell to her knees when she ended, and opened her eyes. Tears streamed down her face. “I danced,” she said, softly. “I can.” It was a moment of triumph.
It was only when the applause died down that Lydia finally made the connection. It all made sense now. She bowed her head in shame as she felt that she has been taught the most humbling dance lesson ever. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Mrs. Peterson leaned to whisper in her ear.
“You know now, don’t you? You see, Melody is deaf. But it does not mean she cannot hear the music. She shuts her eyes and imagines herself in that world of sound, and her body responds accordingly. She thinks she dances in her dreams, and today, she showed that in reality, it can be done. We, who can see and hear, must find ourselves from within. Dance from your heart. You will be great one day.”
Expect Nothing in Return
If reality is a good teacher, sometimes I wonder why it is difficult for me to learn.
I should really laugh at my own folly.
Trust apparently is an outdated word.
Today's motto should be "Trust, but expect those that you do will let you down"
It has been proven true one too many times.
Sincerity is just as obsolete.
Offer help and the motives get questioned.
No one does good without a hidden agenda?
Just maybe...maybe people have been hurt too many times to put a premium on values.
I should not complain. After all, if I claim that I expect nothing in return, I should not feel pain, fear or frustration.
Dear you,
I am upset. I am angered.
But more with myself, rather than you.
...for allowing your actions, to make me lose faith in people.
I should not expect anything in return, I cannot, and will not.
I am no longer of any relevance.
I should really laugh at my own folly.
Trust apparently is an outdated word.
Today's motto should be "Trust, but expect those that you do will let you down"
It has been proven true one too many times.
Sincerity is just as obsolete.
Offer help and the motives get questioned.
No one does good without a hidden agenda?
Just maybe...maybe people have been hurt too many times to put a premium on values.
I should not complain. After all, if I claim that I expect nothing in return, I should not feel pain, fear or frustration.
Dear you,
I am upset. I am angered.
But more with myself, rather than you.
...for allowing your actions, to make me lose faith in people.
I should not expect anything in return, I cannot, and will not.
I am no longer of any relevance.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Bangsa Ku
"Ingatlah pesanan, Datuk Hang Tuah,
Tidak Melayu hilang di dunia
Jaga nama baik, maruah & ugama
Adab bangsa jangan diabaikan."
Hahaha...
Don't worry. I am going going to even try to continue in Malay.
(I apologise...it is not that I am not proud of my language, but my own deficiencies in the language is something that I will need to overcome)
"Tidah Melayu hilang di dunia"
This is a rallying cry...attributed to a legendary Malay warrior, Hang Tuah- through it has never been found in the hikayat annals.
But the point I want to touch about is what is found in the last two lines of that verse.
Roughly translated. it is a reminder to uphold the good name,dignity, honour, integrity and values of the Malay race.
I wonder...
Why do those who answer so proudly as 'cucu Datuk Hang Tuah' only see what they deem as 'injustices' against the race?
Or that it is 'Malay pride' that must never be challenged at all costs?
And all, that have held us so firmly anchored in the past...are blamed for our own 'backwardness'...for being 'kolot'?
I can only reflect, based on my own experiences...what I see happening in front of my eyes...the rise of the different 'pendekar' generation.
I am afraid...
Tidak Melayu hilang di dunia
Jaga nama baik, maruah & ugama
Adab bangsa jangan diabaikan."
Hahaha...
Don't worry. I am going going to even try to continue in Malay.
(I apologise...it is not that I am not proud of my language, but my own deficiencies in the language is something that I will need to overcome)
"Tidah Melayu hilang di dunia"
This is a rallying cry...attributed to a legendary Malay warrior, Hang Tuah- through it has never been found in the hikayat annals.
But the point I want to touch about is what is found in the last two lines of that verse.
Roughly translated. it is a reminder to uphold the good name,dignity, honour, integrity and values of the Malay race.
I wonder...
Why do those who answer so proudly as 'cucu Datuk Hang Tuah' only see what they deem as 'injustices' against the race?
Or that it is 'Malay pride' that must never be challenged at all costs?
And all, that have held us so firmly anchored in the past...are blamed for our own 'backwardness'...for being 'kolot'?
I can only reflect, based on my own experiences...what I see happening in front of my eyes...the rise of the different 'pendekar' generation.
I am afraid...
One and the Same
I found another poem which is food for thought:
The Soul of Thoughts
The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.
Think only on those things that are in line with your principles
and can bear the full light of day.
The content of your character is your choice.
Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is what you become.
Your integrity is your destiny…it is the light that guides your way.
Heraclitus- Greek Poet
What I am, what I do ...
may be governed by a conscious, rational, disciplined process of thought and scrupulously logical deliberation
0r is my subconscious accumulating a junk heap of unwarranted conclusions, false generalizations, undefined contradictions, undigested slogans, unidentified wishes, doubts and fears, thrown together by chance ?
I am random...I am chaotic at times
and I allow myself to respond to impulse, gut feeling and 'heart'.
But now I realise, that in many ways, the head and the heart can work in tandem. That even when we do things instinctively, the head could already be two steps ahead..and that is why, the body responds accordingly.
"Reason stems from self-awareness; its function is to perceive that which exists by organizing observational data. It has the power to direct its own actions and check its conclusions, the power to maintain a certain relationship to the facts of reality.
Emotion, by contrast, is a faculty not of perception, but of reaction to one's perceptions. This kind of faculty has no power of observation and no volition; it has no means of independent access to reality, no means to guide its own course, and no capacity to monitor its own relationship to facts." - (adapted from Objective Philosophy)
So rather than ponder about contradictions, I should accept that reason and emotion keep each other in check. In fact, they work in harmony. The rational and irrational; the pragmatist and the dreamer, the optimist and the pessimist, are all within the same...They exist within my being.
The Soul of Thoughts
The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.
Think only on those things that are in line with your principles
and can bear the full light of day.
The content of your character is your choice.
Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is what you become.
Your integrity is your destiny…it is the light that guides your way.
Heraclitus- Greek Poet
What I am, what I do ...
may be governed by a conscious, rational, disciplined process of thought and scrupulously logical deliberation
0r is my subconscious accumulating a junk heap of unwarranted conclusions, false generalizations, undefined contradictions, undigested slogans, unidentified wishes, doubts and fears, thrown together by chance ?
I am random...I am chaotic at times
and I allow myself to respond to impulse, gut feeling and 'heart'.
But now I realise, that in many ways, the head and the heart can work in tandem. That even when we do things instinctively, the head could already be two steps ahead..and that is why, the body responds accordingly.
"Reason stems from self-awareness; its function is to perceive that which exists by organizing observational data. It has the power to direct its own actions and check its conclusions, the power to maintain a certain relationship to the facts of reality.
Emotion, by contrast, is a faculty not of perception, but of reaction to one's perceptions. This kind of faculty has no power of observation and no volition; it has no means of independent access to reality, no means to guide its own course, and no capacity to monitor its own relationship to facts." - (adapted from Objective Philosophy)
So rather than ponder about contradictions, I should accept that reason and emotion keep each other in check. In fact, they work in harmony. The rational and irrational; the pragmatist and the dreamer, the optimist and the pessimist, are all within the same...They exist within my being.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Reason without a Conscience
This statement was made by a character in a show which I was watching just now.
A scientist was asked for the basis of his actions - the creation of a weapon, initially meant for the protection of earth against asteroids, and was later turned into a machine with a potential to wipe out the earth.
He said, "Don't blame science. The reason comes without any conscience."
I do not really know why that statement struck me.
I see Conscience as that feeling which may make us believe that certain actions, or failures of actions are inherently wrong. The feeling is innate...and when we do things against the conscience, feelings of guilt or remorse set it. Perhaps, it is a God-give ability in us to keep us humane.
However, our conscience is something that is 'shaped and moulded' by Knowledge. According to the theory of knowledge, when a child reaches the age of reason, he should be able to distinguish between what is right and wrong. In fact, Thomas Aquninas claim that conscience is the voice of reason. He claims that to act conscientiously is to act based on reason-based decisions.
Hmmm...
If that follows, why do I feel so uncomfortable with the premise given in that earlier story? Is it because it is getting so true...that reasons given...can be cold, detached and totally detached from emotions that were supposed to follow? That moral and ethical dilemmas have no basis or relevance anymore?
This is something I shall mull over.
A scientist was asked for the basis of his actions - the creation of a weapon, initially meant for the protection of earth against asteroids, and was later turned into a machine with a potential to wipe out the earth.
He said, "Don't blame science. The reason comes without any conscience."
I do not really know why that statement struck me.
I see Conscience as that feeling which may make us believe that certain actions, or failures of actions are inherently wrong. The feeling is innate...and when we do things against the conscience, feelings of guilt or remorse set it. Perhaps, it is a God-give ability in us to keep us humane.
However, our conscience is something that is 'shaped and moulded' by Knowledge. According to the theory of knowledge, when a child reaches the age of reason, he should be able to distinguish between what is right and wrong. In fact, Thomas Aquninas claim that conscience is the voice of reason. He claims that to act conscientiously is to act based on reason-based decisions.
Hmmm...
If that follows, why do I feel so uncomfortable with the premise given in that earlier story? Is it because it is getting so true...that reasons given...can be cold, detached and totally detached from emotions that were supposed to follow? That moral and ethical dilemmas have no basis or relevance anymore?
This is something I shall mull over.
How to Hug a Porcupine
I never thought I would actually come across a book with such a title - but I did today. There it was, on the TIMES bookstore at Tampines One. It had a bright orange cover, and it caught my eye when I browsed through the self-help section.
I had laughed aloud...so someone had beaten it to me...or at least someone shared my sentiments about porcupines...from the fact that they are one of the most vulnerable animals, and that, the quills are there as part of the defensive mechanism.
Is there anything new book? It reaffirmed my own beliefs and assumptions about the porcupines in my life...The only thing that I never really thought about was it was indeed really possible to hug a porcupine.
Apparently, it can be done...if one knows when, where and how to approach the edgy, nervy and fidgety. But haha...I am not going to reveal what the book said. Gave away too many secrets already.
So Dee, take a deep breath when you face the porcupines again.
You might never know...
I may get through and the porcupine may not even raise its quills again. (Haha...I can always hope, can't I?)
I had laughed aloud...so someone had beaten it to me...or at least someone shared my sentiments about porcupines...from the fact that they are one of the most vulnerable animals, and that, the quills are there as part of the defensive mechanism.
Is there anything new book? It reaffirmed my own beliefs and assumptions about the porcupines in my life...The only thing that I never really thought about was it was indeed really possible to hug a porcupine.
Apparently, it can be done...if one knows when, where and how to approach the edgy, nervy and fidgety. But haha...I am not going to reveal what the book said. Gave away too many secrets already.
So Dee, take a deep breath when you face the porcupines again.
You might never know...
I may get through and the porcupine may not even raise its quills again. (Haha...I can always hope, can't I?)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Quiet Moments
It's still the wee hours in the morning, and things are very quiet.
We had eaten our 'sahur' - the last meal before we begin the fast for the day. The kids have parked themselves in my room again, so they are sprawled all over the floor.As much as they tried to keep awake for the call to prayer, they slowly slip to la la land.
I managed to read a few verses of the Holy Book.
That in itself, has brought about a sense of calm and serenity. The mind may still be filled with thoughts of things undone, and deadlines to meet, but the spirit is soothed. I know I should be doing this more, and being 'busy' is precisely the reason for the unsettled feelings that have been building up.
The cats are in the room too; maybe the truce induced by the need to be in a cool room to sleep. Whoever gets the main portion of the bed becomes the 'queen bee', and it is an unwritten rule that the throne on the bed means who gets the biggest share of strokes and cuddles. For the past few nights, Murphee would rather forgo dinner so that she can sprawl herself at the centre of the bed.
The call to prayer is heard over the radio.
The muazzin's voice is hauntingly melodic...and there is the reminder that it is better to 'prayer' than to sleep.
Ironically, this is the time when my eye-lids find themselves extra heavy...
Temptations...
It is I who can overcome my own desires; my own weaknesses.
It is always easy to find excuses and procrastinate.
Prayer for the day:
God, I am humbled.
Grateful that you have given the gift of life to me for another day.
Thankful that you gave me the ability to think and reflect.
I shall not waste today.
I am going to spend it with my children, my family...
Ameen...ya rabbal alamin -
We had eaten our 'sahur' - the last meal before we begin the fast for the day. The kids have parked themselves in my room again, so they are sprawled all over the floor.As much as they tried to keep awake for the call to prayer, they slowly slip to la la land.
I managed to read a few verses of the Holy Book.
That in itself, has brought about a sense of calm and serenity. The mind may still be filled with thoughts of things undone, and deadlines to meet, but the spirit is soothed. I know I should be doing this more, and being 'busy' is precisely the reason for the unsettled feelings that have been building up.
The cats are in the room too; maybe the truce induced by the need to be in a cool room to sleep. Whoever gets the main portion of the bed becomes the 'queen bee', and it is an unwritten rule that the throne on the bed means who gets the biggest share of strokes and cuddles. For the past few nights, Murphee would rather forgo dinner so that she can sprawl herself at the centre of the bed.
The call to prayer is heard over the radio.
The muazzin's voice is hauntingly melodic...and there is the reminder that it is better to 'prayer' than to sleep.
Ironically, this is the time when my eye-lids find themselves extra heavy...
Temptations...
It is I who can overcome my own desires; my own weaknesses.
It is always easy to find excuses and procrastinate.
Prayer for the day:
God, I am humbled.
Grateful that you have given the gift of life to me for another day.
Thankful that you gave me the ability to think and reflect.
I shall not waste today.
I am going to spend it with my children, my family...
Ameen...ya rabbal alamin -
The Child
The signs were already there. I supposed I have tried so hard to ignore. I can sense 'that' vibes, and perhaps, that is why the child is quite frightened of me.
I have come down extra hard...'scolding' over the slightest mistakes in the work done. When put in the spot, this child stammers, and quickly withdraws...now, this child thinks twice before coming to me to ask for help.
Why?
Why do I treat this one so differently ?- when in the past, I know what I had to do with the Special One.
Maybe I am the one who is afraid...
I am not able to watch out for this particular one.
A Prayer for the Day:
God, if this is what you have for me, prepare me.
I need to believe that I can do it. Ameen
I have come down extra hard...'scolding' over the slightest mistakes in the work done. When put in the spot, this child stammers, and quickly withdraws...now, this child thinks twice before coming to me to ask for help.
Why?
Why do I treat this one so differently ?- when in the past, I know what I had to do with the Special One.
Maybe I am the one who is afraid...
I am not able to watch out for this particular one.
A Prayer for the Day:
God, if this is what you have for me, prepare me.
I need to believe that I can do it. Ameen
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Needs, Wants, Desires & Dreams
According to Maslow, there are 5 levels of human needs.
The most basic would be our physiological ones - like air, food, water.
It then moves up to safety, love(& belonging),esteem and at the apex, self-actualisation.
Once we are have the needs at each level met, we should then move up hierarchy to fill up the void.
Yet,as humans...we have an insatiable 'hunger'...we are always wanting 'something.
It is not just food.
We crave for many, many things, and that is where wants, dreams, desires, goals, ambitions, or whatever you may want to call it, come in.
Something within us will drive us to seek for them...and pushes us to obtain it.
Are our 'wants' our 'needs'?
It's getting tough to to distinguish which is which.
I know myself that there will always be things that I go after...from those little tubs of Ben & Jerry's to even bigger dreams like that PhD someday. Could my wants be stemmed from some unfulfilled needs?
Anyway, I found something which I hope would be of good use to me ... as a teacher, parent and an individual. It is taken from the University of Honolulu website.
It points out how we can develop our children and ourselves ... by focusing on the fulfilling our needs.
1.We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2.We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3.We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4.We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5.We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6.We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7.We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8.We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9.We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10.We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices,
Prayer for today:
Dear God, I thank you for the 'wake up call', for I have I have not been conscious of my actions lately. Give me strength to do the things I have to do, and the sanity and faith to move on. Ameen
The most basic would be our physiological ones - like air, food, water.
It then moves up to safety, love(& belonging),esteem and at the apex, self-actualisation.
Once we are have the needs at each level met, we should then move up hierarchy to fill up the void.
Yet,as humans...we have an insatiable 'hunger'...we are always wanting 'something.
It is not just food.
We crave for many, many things, and that is where wants, dreams, desires, goals, ambitions, or whatever you may want to call it, come in.
Something within us will drive us to seek for them...and pushes us to obtain it.
Are our 'wants' our 'needs'?
It's getting tough to to distinguish which is which.
I know myself that there will always be things that I go after...from those little tubs of Ben & Jerry's to even bigger dreams like that PhD someday. Could my wants be stemmed from some unfulfilled needs?
Anyway, I found something which I hope would be of good use to me ... as a teacher, parent and an individual. It is taken from the University of Honolulu website.
It points out how we can develop our children and ourselves ... by focusing on the fulfilling our needs.
1.We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2.We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3.We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4.We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5.We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6.We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7.We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8.We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9.We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10.We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices,
Prayer for today:
Dear God, I thank you for the 'wake up call', for I have I have not been conscious of my actions lately. Give me strength to do the things I have to do, and the sanity and faith to move on. Ameen
A Favourite Poem
REMEMBER
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Do Something & Stop Whining
The other say, something asked me why the entries seem bleak lately.
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Being Cruel to be Kind
Yesterday, students from the graduating classes were herded into the AVA room. Class by class they went, where they spent about 1 hour, listening to the most important person in school.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Blowing the smoke away from the smokescreen
It is not that I suddenly have so much to write about today. But only you will understand the essence of this entry.
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
Lessons from Death
Today was 'a day of sorts'.
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
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