Maal Hijrah - The Move

Today marks the new day in the Muslim calendar. Many people think that Hari Raya is the new year celebration...but it is not.
For us, the 'celebration' is marked with a day of prayers and thanksgiving.

In the spirit of things, I completed my move from my spot downstairs.
It has been 9 long years...since I moved down to that position.
As I cleaned out my desk, I remember the times I've had...with friends and colleagues...and the students who sat beside me as I worked. I also recall my encounters with my 'friend' - the presence of another being in the room.

I have spent more than 23 years in the school already. That is a long time...
It's my second home.

So I leave the table with a sense of sadness, but also a stronger sense of calm.
We all need to move on...and at this point of time, I have come to cherish my health and my peace of mind.

Ya Allah,
It is Your Will. It's a time for new beginnings.
With your blessings, I will have more good times ahead.
Insyaallah. Amin.

When the memories leave...

The MRI scan has confirmed the prognosis.
Mum has both dementia and Alzheimers.

It's interesting that of late, there has been many news articles on the state on Singaporeans' mental health. At least 1 in 10 will suffer from a mental degradation...from the simples blues to depression, from plain forgetfulness to those who totally lose their identities.  There is a stronger call for the early screening to be made mandatory, so that those, especially in their golden years, would not be a time when they are struck down by this disability.

While I celebrate Zarifah small victories climbing out of the abyss in which depression had sucked her into two years ago, I am now facing this new challenge.  Even with medication, Mum's condition, 'may be slowed'....technically, within 6 years, we may...face the prospect of her...

But Alhamdulillah, mum is taking things within her stride...at least, I think she is more upbeat than I am...or is it because, her short-term memory has already been short-circuited.  It's becoming quite obvious that she sometimes cannot even remember topics of conversation that took place ten minutes earlier.

Her faith is keeping her strong.  Surprisingly, she retains the ability to memorise Quranic verses...much better than anyone of us in the family.  That gives her the focus she needs...the antidote to soothe her nerves when she gets frustrated at not being able to remember simple things like taking her medication, or even having her lunch.

Dear God,
Your humble servant, ...pasrah.
It's Your Will...and I pray, that you give me the strength...
In You, I place my trust...
Look after mum...
and let her keep...the most precious of her memories...
That is - to serve you.
Ameen

Dissecting Words

Excuse me...
I dis - sect   words!
That's part of my job...I also do it for fun.

That's part of my background...
I tear at words, and put them under a magnifying glass.
The 'literary grounding' is as strong as instinct.

So...if you use words...
either randomly or whimsically...
or for whatever reason you say...
I'll look at them and wonder...

Words...
have power....
to lift, to break,
to enlighten, to confuse
to praise, to condemn

Words...are used for a purpose
Literally....figuratively...
Your words...no matter how convoluted or straightforward
Reveal a lot more than what you want to hide.

So I know...
though I may not fully understand...
What you mean...

Walk the Talk, please

Today....was a disaster.
There was a workshop ....I can't put the title here...for fear that if someone googles this, and stumbles across what I have to say, well...lets say that the consequences would not be pleasant.

But come on...
The group is made up of professional educators.
Granted, it is the holidays, and the idea of having to attend 2 full days workshop is just as exciting as having a root canal dental work done on you....

But this course is about ____________....meaning, that, you, as the 'expert', is supposed to help us in our journey towards that goal.

Yet...
The trainer is the anti-thesis of what is being said.
Never had a whole room of professionals made to feel as if we are transported back into the classroom, and treated as if we are the naive, illiterate children.

The trainer felt that the momentum was not right...
Yet...again, blamed the participants.
And we...being too polite,
Did not want to tell the truth to your face.

Do you know why?
You once held one of the highest position possible in our line of work
...yet now, you are sadly out of touch.
The very things you tell us not to do with our students,
...are the very things that you are doing to us.

Sad...sad...sad...

Dear God,
Twenty years down the road...please do not let me become that....

The New Fine Line

One of the locally produced shows which I enjoy is "The Pupil'. Though it revolves around the lives of those in the legal service, the show portrays many cases based on actual cases; or work into its plot some thought-provoking scenario.

A case in point was last evening's episode.
It highlighted a case of how the head of a school was being sued by the parents of a girl who felt that his actions had led to her over-dosing herself.  The head teacher had started an on-line portal where he could be more accessible to his students. So in the evenings, (maybe to set an example to his teachers how to be caring???), he chats with them over any matters.

So with the girl, it started with her telling him of her academic woes.
But along the way, it did point out that this was a girl who rarely listened to advice. She clearly had a mind of her own. Anyway, she kept chatting with him, and confided that she was having problems with her boyfriend. It was revealed that his first advice to her was to ask her to turn to her parents. Of course, she would not listen.

So, as the relationship soured, she continued to tell the headmaster her woes....and one of his advice was "End it..."
I suppose it makes good drama with an open-ended, ambiguous statement like that. English teachers teaching inference skills must drill into the students to always look within the context of what took place. But what did the dear child do? For the first time, she decides to listen to him...and 'end it' by overdosing herself with sleeping pills. (never mind where she got them from....)

So...parents found her in the nick of time, and she is saved.
The parents saw the web page with the chat history and those damning words...and decided that this man must pay for his tresspasses. How dare he mislead a child...worse still, go against any Socractic oath (no...I'm making this up...since Socrates was one of the world's greatest teacher). This is a teacher who has definitely crossed the line!

I am of course, biased at this moment, for obvious reasons.
But I was very disturbed when the judgment came. The court found the P guilt of misappropriate behaviour. He has crossed the line.

That set me thinking....Crossing the line?
What is the role of an educator?

In between the courtroom drama, there was a heated exchange between the P and the public prosecutor. The prosecutor painted him as a potential phedophile, taking advantage of his position to exploit young minds. She called him names, and found herself crossing the line when she that that as a parent, she wouldn't want to put her child in his school. In his anger, the P then yelled that if only parents did their job...as parents...because all he did was doing his job.

Much have been said about the role of a teacher.
How do you know that you have crossed that fine thin line?

There are no answers...only deep thoughts and worries that follow.
If what the man did was wrong, then I have been guilty a thousand times over.
I do get personally involved in my students' lives.

So what is the lesson to be learnt?
There is no right or wrong way...no one answer that fits all.
But times are changing....

I rue the day when I become cool, detached, and 'professional' in the execution of my duty to impart knowledge....
It's the time to leave....

Wherein lies your intention?

It takes all kinds....
In this world, there are dreamers and the realists, lenders and borrowers, optimists and pessimists, and the givers and takers.

What is your intention?
What is your personal agenda?
We all do things for a reason...
and to reach a sincere and pure intention...
Is the hardest thing to do.

Lillahi Taallah...
Guide me...and make my niat,
the right way to your path

Another one bites the dust...really?

I think STOMP , twitter and even FB are trending about how a young local girl had boasted about slapping her mother. She is still a teenager, barely 15.

From what I have read (ya...I do have a bone to pick with 'citizen journalism', but that's another issue altogether), this child claimed to have done the deed, and posted about her actions on FB. She also decided to rant, and called her mother all kinds of derogatory terms. Someone who read her post then sent it to STOMP.  The floodgates opened up a whole slew of reactions - from those who felt so outraged and called insulted her in turn, to those who felt that her actions were really 'cool' and wanted to befriend her...only to be 'hurt' when she accepted one of the 300 people who made the request on FB.

Welcome to the end of civilisation.

I am not going to adopt a 'holier-than-thou' attitude.
I think in my postings, I have had enough grief over the issues that plague society...
Lets just put it such that I want the finger pointing to stop.

I am appealing for those who still hold on to good universal values to look deep into ourselves, and think of what we ought to be doing. It starts with ourselves.

Coming from an educator's perspective...I can guess what needs to be done, and what we are likely to do.

"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone".
As hard as it is, no matter how 'outraged' or 'appalled' I feel, there must be steps to 'save' this child.
No matter how much bravado she displays, I am sure she is reeling from the consequences of her actions. The vigilantes are up-in-arms against her...and no one can withstand a whole onslaught of abuses hurled back at her (see...karma already...and personally, those who use vulgarities back are no way better than her).

Yes...
She must 'pay'. She needs to know the err of her ways.
But I wonder how many Fbookers, or tweeters or whatsoever, has not publicly ranted, nor called another person names. How many have boosted about hitting or punching or whatsoever your boss or colleague or friend?

Lets ask...
What can we do now?...
Can we turn things around for her?

Or...is she another one of the 'sleeping child', who develops a whole new persona when she is awake?