To Err is Human, To Forgive Divine

To Err is Human, to Forgive Divine.
(personal reflection)

In the spirit of asking for forgiveness during Hari Raya, I pondered over one of the best lines from Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice". Portia speaks to the bitter Shylock about showing a little compassion.

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice.
(Act 4 Sci - The Merchant of Venice)

We are only humans...and very often, when we are hurt so badly by others, the first thought is to hurt back, and we often lash out in blind fury. If we have been wronged, it is difficult to forgive...and the justice we seek is like that of 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.' It is tit-for-tat reaction.

Mercy is such a compelling word; embracing the image of empathy, compassion, kindness, understanding and love. Is Man capable of such mercy? Like in the quote, " It is an attribute to God himself"...

When we are hurt, we bleed...we feel not only the physical, but emotional and mental pain...it can be agonising too. And just like the wounded beasts, we more than often in turn, hurt those who try to help us too.

Mercy...mercy...mercy...that is a blessing from heaven...We need to learn to forgive, and also forgive ourselves...It helps us to move on.

Prayer for today:
God...I pray for mercy and forgiveness. I am flawed , and full of shortcomings. And even more, teach me also to forgive, and forget...Ameen

Go the distance

Go The Distance
(song lyrics from Disney's Hercules)

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
*************************************

To all my dreamers and heroes out there,

Stare up to the stars, while you plant your feet on the ground.
Remember, a hero is not one who has physical courage, or save the world, (or wears his underwear inside out)
A hero is one, who faces up to his own personal challenges...and still believes that he is on a continuous journey to reach his goals.
And each goal is simply a new destination...a pit stop before you move again.


A Prayer for today
God,...sometimes, the music fades, and I lose my sense of rhythm...Colour my world, and let the light in...Allow the rainbows to appear...so that I can dance in my dreams again. Ameen

A Long Hard Day

A Long Hard Day
(Personal Recount)

This morning, I got KC to come to school to talk to the current students. Though I have more or less, goaded him into 'a payback time', my intention was to let the others see that if they do not lose sight of their dreams, they would be able to reach for the stars too. (Thank you KC)

It was tough for KC...really, I would know.
But he clawed his way up...all because he was determined to make it far, and prove himself. Many of the kids have been able to 'fly' because they really want to do well, for they have got a lot to prove.

It's really up to the individual...for when you choose the right attitude, and make up your mind to give your best.

On a more sober note...I just wonder...
Am I, as an educator, expecting too much of the kids?
From experience, I know that the stress levels get unbearably high when the O level draws near. There is so much that I want to do with the class, and the idea is just to keep on pushing and pushing...

But over and over again, I do crash into a wall when I try to push 'too much'...the kids get turned off, and they cannot understand why I am trying to make them do more things than they can cope. I have learnt to buffer and guard my emotions when the kids think that there is no need to have so much practice in the subject I teach.

Today, I saw one of my friends cry...shed tears of frustration, and hurt...because she was accused of being unfeeling and selfish...The people she wants to help, are the ones who made her cry.

When we are high-strung, we all react in different ways...and in this case, actions were misunderstood. But I suppose that what will take a very long time to recover is the pain felt...

Kids...do not bite the hand that feeds you...
Do not break the hearts of those who love you
Do not take make those who believe in you...lose that faith...

Remember, your teachers have your interests at heart...
I know most of my friends have sacrificed so much of their own personal time for you...We are not obligated to be at your beck and call 24/7.

A Prayer for Today
God, things are still pretty tough...and today, a lot of spirits have been demoralised. We wonder why our good intentions are misunderstood, and why, despite the things we try to do to help, we are seen as the 'bad guys. Please do not let me lose hope...Help me keep on believing in my young charges...If the hand gets bitten again, allow me to try ,and try again. Ameen.

The Power of a Dream

The Power of a Dream
(Personal Reflection)

I am back to reading Maxwell again, and in his new book "Dare to Dream ...then do it..",I came across this simple yet thought-provoking part when he questions readers on the differences between a 'daring dream' and a 'daydream


Daring Dream vs Day Dream
- relies on discipline vs - relies on luck
- focuses on the journey vs - focuses on the destination
- cultivates healthy discontent vs - cultivates unhealthy expectations
- maximises the value of hard work vs - minimizes the value of hard work
- leads to action vs - leads to excuses
- creates momentum vs - creates inertia
- breeds teamwork vs - breeds isolation
- initiates vs - waits
- embraces risks as possibilities vs - avoids all risks
- makes one responsible vs - holds others responsible

Great dreams are those which inspire and move you forward. It keeps you going, and fuels your passion. The very thought of it makes you feel alive.

Daydreams are just wishful thinking of 'if only...or what if...'

Hmmm...There is not one among us who do not have dreams. We all want the good things in life, we want things that make us feel happy.

Some of us want the tangible things in life....money, career, certain objects of desire...while there are others who want those that money cannot buy...things of intrinsic value...

My take is this...if you really believe in this dream, then you must take the right action to turn your dreams into reality. You must take ownership of this dream, and then work hard. You must be committed to your goals, and not give up.

My dear kids, I have a dream
A dream that all of you will do well in the exams.
Will you join me in making this dream a reality?


A Prayer for today,
God, grant me the sense of compassion and empathy as I begin marking my papers today. While I may wonder and be taken aback at the kinds of answers I read, always remind me that some of these kids were under a lot of stress, and perhaps could not think clearly. Oh,...keep intact my sense of humour, so that I will not wonder how on earth they have come up with such responses to the question.

Shoulder To Cry On

Shoulder To Cry On
(Especially for F)

My special'children' out there, you know who you are. For some reasons which I cannot explain, each year, there will be one or two whose auras (?) and vibes become so strong that that I pick them up...and sometimes, in turn, you pick up mine.

As you move on with your lives, there are times, when I can still sense when things do not go right...and lately, the disturbing signs have come back for some of you. I wish I can be there to help you in times of great need. But there is so much that I can, and all I can offer at the moment, is a listening ear, and the shoulder you need.

For today, I'll just put the lyrics of 2 of my favourite songs. Remember, I belong to a different era than you...so the choices are 'old-fashioned' ...but I hope you will understand.

So my heart goes out to you , stay strong...stay gold...I will always believe in you.

A Shoulder to cry on (Tommy Page)

Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When its headed for the ground
And theres nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
You down

Its so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When theres many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side

Chorus:

And when you need
A shoulder to cry on
When you need
A friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You wont be alone
Ill be there
Ill be your shoulder to cry on
Ill be there
Ill be your friend to rely on
When the whole worlds gone
You wont be alone cause Ill be there

All of the times
When everything is wrong
And your feeling like
Theres no use going on
You cant give it up
Ill help you work it out
And carry on

Side by side
With you till the end
Ill always be the one
A shoulder to cry on continued

To firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

Chorus:

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole worlds gone, you wont be alone
cause Ill be there
Ill be your shoulder to cry on
Ill be there
Ill be the one to rely one
When the whole worlds gone, you wont be alone
cause Ill be there
And when the whole world is gone
Youll always have my shoulder to cry on


Whenever You're In Trouble (Donny Osmond)

Tell me from the heart,
In your eyes I see the pain,
It's tearing you apart,
Let me take it all away,
You know someone believes in you,
When they love you no matter what you do,
You know you are home
And you're not alone,
When you hear me say...

Whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...

Sometimes you're gonna find,
Nothing goes the way you planned,
But whatever's on your mind,
I will try to understand,
You know someone is by your side,
When they help you through the darkest night,
You know you are home,
And you're not alone,
When you hear me say...

Whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...

Now's the time!
To share what you're feeling inside,
No matter how long it takes,
No matter how many mistakes!

Oh, now's the time!
To reach and you will find,
That whenever you need me to care,
I'll always be there!

Oh, whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...

Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here.

Dear F....hang on..hang on...hang on....

Courage Under Fire

Courage Under Fire
(reflection)

"Write with your voice..."
I think by now most of my kids now this phrase because I keep emphasing to them in class over and over again. When one is able to connect with the heart, the words will somehow flow more naturally.

One of the topics was on Courage. While there were many stories on heroic acts, some stood out for their take on moral integrity. Those recounts were real and personal, and thus, more meaningful to the writers.

Here is my take on the topic, based on the work my colleagues do ( and also from some of the ideas from Parker Palmer and Daniel Heischmann.

Each time I walk into the room, I say a silent pray for strength.
It takes a lot of guts to stand in front of a group of young people, especially when you know that the things you teach, say and do will have an impact on them (hehehe...so all you remember are my 'stories' huh?)

There is always an element of unpredictability each day, each moment.
My lessons are dependent on so many factors ...like moods, weather, even whether technology will decide to fail on me...
I need to be quick on my feet, and brains too...and yet remain calm and composed under the most stressful times.

It takes hard work to remember that I am the adult...so under no circumstances must I let my own anger and frustration retaliate should I be provoked or challenged. "Hold your head high, and keep your fists down" - Atticus (to Kill a Mockingbird). Yes, it takes more of a man to walk away from a fight, and even much, much more when you so badly want to 'teach' a young person about rights and respect.

Courage means having to admit your mistakes when you are wrong, and ask for help when you need it. I am not a paragon of virtues, but I do have to consciously have to uphold them. To walk the talk is tough, for we humans are flawed, and having the extra weight on the shoulders because the work demands this of us, is even harder. On a lighter note, I know now it is easier to wave the white flag and ask for help...this technosaurus rex is fast becoming a technological dropout.

There are days, when the front I use seems more like bravado...especially when the synapes in my brain simply cannot connect. It is so much easier to turn a blind eye to things that are not right...like when they trade 'toot' words, put a peer down, or even come to class late and so on...But many of us push on...to guide, to teach, to impart values....again and again if we have to...not giving up is a sign of moral fortitude.

Standing up for what is right on a daily basis...that takes a real amount of courage.
So my dear friends in education, ...remember this. We may not leap off tall buildings, or go to war , or find the cure to cancer...Most of you are heroes in your own little ways, and I salute you for that.

consilio et animis - By wisdom and courage....that's how we move on

Credo for Life

Credo for Life - Another Re-visit

At these times when things seems...urgh!...I guess it helps to find something calming to read and reflect. This is another famous creed written by such a wise man.

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

You know, I am actually able to smile when I think of some of the statements made, and why I am able to understand the 'yuckkiness' lately.

I have allowed myself to be so sensitive to external sounds...and forgot to hear the voice from within. I get jumpy and irritated by the cacaphony of endless chatter, the mindless moans, groans, screams, screeches, whines, and wails...I used to call them 'banshees'...the lost souls of the sea, and yet, I have been lured and fallen into their trap.

But in my desire to shut out the noise, have I forgotten to listen?
That above the din...I should be able to hear the one soft voice...of that one who really needs my help.



My Prayer for Today,
God...thank for for life's daily blessings...I am able to wake up each day, and think of new possibilities. I know that which each wall I bang my head into, you cushion the blow with something else. I hope you understand why my sense of purpose has wavered these past few days...
For today, please help me open up my ears to make sense of what is happening around me. Allow my head and my heart to make connections, so that I am able to do things with ...er logical compassion.
There are still times when I feel that hanging some people upside down...but remind to control...control...control...Ameen