Yesterday, students from the graduating classes were herded into the AVA room. Class by class they went, where they spent about 1 hour, listening to the most important person in school.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Blowing the smoke away from the smokescreen
It is not that I suddenly have so much to write about today. But only you will understand the essence of this entry.
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
Lessons from Death
Today was 'a day of sorts'.
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
When the Spirit is brokened...
Today, I felt demoralised.
It was not by the words that were said, nor the actions.
It was a painful realisation that I may not be a good teacher after all.
I walked into class today with a very specific objective in mind.
I wanted them prepared...and ready.
I wanted them bright, bushy-tailed and all ready to take in the knowledge I wanted to impart in them.
But then...the things that happened...
I have talked about opening up their minds...but have I crippled their thinking?
I want them to be quick and able to think on their feet...but have I intimidated them into keeping quiet and say nothing at all?
I used to think that apathy could be the cause; and the lack of self-awareness could be the contributing factor to their passivity. But this is not it. I like being with them...on their own, they are very nice, well-mannered kids.
Is fear paralysing them?
But don't they realise that they are sinking even faster in this quick-sand like situation if they do not want to help themselves?
While I do my part, suddenly I am overwhelmed at the enormity of having to be accountable for the results they produce. That alone is leaving me breathless. There are no excuses I can give if they do not do well. All fingers will come pointing at me.
My dear kids, I do hope that you remember this.
My 'work' is to make sure you pass, and do well in the exams. I come in...all rah rah and ready, but the general lethargy will get to me. At one point, it seems like the Dementors in Harry Potter's stories, sucking out the life in me.
I cannot be pushing all the time...I cannot be the one catching you each time you fall...You cannot fall, because you do not even seem to want to try.
Please, please. This is a plea.
Do not break my spirit too. I have just that much...and I cannot be positive for everybody.
You have to start...use baby steps if you have too...
Someone catch me please...
I am falling.
It was not by the words that were said, nor the actions.
It was a painful realisation that I may not be a good teacher after all.
I walked into class today with a very specific objective in mind.
I wanted them prepared...and ready.
I wanted them bright, bushy-tailed and all ready to take in the knowledge I wanted to impart in them.
But then...the things that happened...
I have talked about opening up their minds...but have I crippled their thinking?
I want them to be quick and able to think on their feet...but have I intimidated them into keeping quiet and say nothing at all?
I used to think that apathy could be the cause; and the lack of self-awareness could be the contributing factor to their passivity. But this is not it. I like being with them...on their own, they are very nice, well-mannered kids.
Is fear paralysing them?
But don't they realise that they are sinking even faster in this quick-sand like situation if they do not want to help themselves?
While I do my part, suddenly I am overwhelmed at the enormity of having to be accountable for the results they produce. That alone is leaving me breathless. There are no excuses I can give if they do not do well. All fingers will come pointing at me.
My dear kids, I do hope that you remember this.
My 'work' is to make sure you pass, and do well in the exams. I come in...all rah rah and ready, but the general lethargy will get to me. At one point, it seems like the Dementors in Harry Potter's stories, sucking out the life in me.
I cannot be pushing all the time...I cannot be the one catching you each time you fall...You cannot fall, because you do not even seem to want to try.
Please, please. This is a plea.
Do not break my spirit too. I have just that much...and I cannot be positive for everybody.
You have to start...use baby steps if you have too...
Someone catch me please...
I am falling.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Drawing the Line
This entry is for you, though I do not know whether you read my blogs anymore.
I realise that the more I try to convince you to slow down, the more you resist.
I understand you enough now to figure certain things out. And instead of trying to make you change your mind, this is what I am going to do instead.
You keep harping on mistakes...and have to atone for what was done.
I try to think of which was the biggest mistake...and the main link I can make out as the source of your discontent...is that 6.
I partly contributed to that...
Like you said, you were lulled by false hope.
I gave you hope, for to the best of my knowledge, you were on your way there...
But I was wrong.
So you don't trust anything now...and least of all, me.
So I draw the line...
You are fine on your own...trust your instincts, do what you think is right.
The more I try to give advice, the more I think I will misguide you.
So no more.
No more naggings..
No more...
The one thing I do ask...is that you forgive.
Good luck,A.B.
I realise that the more I try to convince you to slow down, the more you resist.
I understand you enough now to figure certain things out. And instead of trying to make you change your mind, this is what I am going to do instead.
You keep harping on mistakes...and have to atone for what was done.
I try to think of which was the biggest mistake...and the main link I can make out as the source of your discontent...is that 6.
I partly contributed to that...
Like you said, you were lulled by false hope.
I gave you hope, for to the best of my knowledge, you were on your way there...
But I was wrong.
So you don't trust anything now...and least of all, me.
So I draw the line...
You are fine on your own...trust your instincts, do what you think is right.
The more I try to give advice, the more I think I will misguide you.
So no more.
No more naggings..
No more...
The one thing I do ask...is that you forgive.
Good luck,A.B.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Are you a Stayer?
Years ago, there was a great debate on the loyalty of Singaporeans who left the country in seek of greener pastures. Many felt that those who left had no sense wanting to give back to the nation, that in a way, they were the selfish ones who only sought for their own wants.
I will not even venture into that area, though I can see the similarities with the situation that is happening in schools. There are more than 50 new faces around...many of whom with 3 years or less in service. Many more are expected to join them.
I have been rooted to the school for about 20 years now...
I spent a fair portion of my life there. I have set my roots there, and I love the place...
I love the people...at least those whom I have worked with for many years...but then, the number grows smaller, and smaller as time goes on.
Many of my dear friends have left.
Many of them, with big, kind hearts and a real love for the job. Their departure often left big gaping voids which sometimes can never be replaced.
Why did they leave?
Why do the younger ones no longer want to stay long?
It is not a matter of loyalty anymore.
It is, I feel, also not an issue of being selfish.
It has reached a sad, sad point.
You know...passion can be killed quite easily. Even the hardiest candle can be snuffed out, if it is constantly being blown against the wind.
So when M said that she has had enough, my heart felt the pain again,
I would have loved to open my mouth, to persuade, to coax, to cajole...for her to stay. But how can I , when deep down, I feel that I should do the same...
I have made a choice...I promised...
But that promise to keep is so heavy.
I do not want to stay simply because I have to...I stay because...I don't know, I struggle to find reasons to convince even myself.
Should you decide to go...I understand.
Maybe...one day, when I am released from my hold, I'll fly away too.
I know know why...the caged bird doesn't sing.
I will not even venture into that area, though I can see the similarities with the situation that is happening in schools. There are more than 50 new faces around...many of whom with 3 years or less in service. Many more are expected to join them.
I have been rooted to the school for about 20 years now...
I spent a fair portion of my life there. I have set my roots there, and I love the place...
I love the people...at least those whom I have worked with for many years...but then, the number grows smaller, and smaller as time goes on.
Many of my dear friends have left.
Many of them, with big, kind hearts and a real love for the job. Their departure often left big gaping voids which sometimes can never be replaced.
Why did they leave?
Why do the younger ones no longer want to stay long?
It is not a matter of loyalty anymore.
It is, I feel, also not an issue of being selfish.
It has reached a sad, sad point.
You know...passion can be killed quite easily. Even the hardiest candle can be snuffed out, if it is constantly being blown against the wind.
So when M said that she has had enough, my heart felt the pain again,
I would have loved to open my mouth, to persuade, to coax, to cajole...for her to stay. But how can I , when deep down, I feel that I should do the same...
I have made a choice...I promised...
But that promise to keep is so heavy.
I do not want to stay simply because I have to...I stay because...I don't know, I struggle to find reasons to convince even myself.
Should you decide to go...I understand.
Maybe...one day, when I am released from my hold, I'll fly away too.
I know know why...the caged bird doesn't sing.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Starting Fresh
I have neglected this blog for quite some time. While I have used the excuse of shutting down the other blog to suspend my entries, I feel that I should not have run away from the daily mental exercise to 'penning down' my thoughts. I have become lazy and my mental faculties are rusty.
Maybe, today's entry shall focus on why I created that new FB account.
I am a coward you see. Rather than confront the situation I was facing,I chose to run away and hide. How long more will it be before I am discovered?
Facebook has been good to me in many ways. It has helped me established links with others, broadened my network of friends, and of course, reconnected me with people whom I have not touched based with for a long time. But hence lies the problem, or my so-called dilemma.
Had I been selective about who I added, I would not have easily faced the problem of having 'unwanted' friends. I think you know what I mean when I say, I would rather be left alone. It is not a game. But how do I choose? Is there a'nice way' of putting people down?
When I was younger, I thought it would have been great if I had lots and lots of friends. The more the merrier. But now, I value my privacy. And the very nature of my job placed me in a dilemma. I needed to be very very guarded with my responses. I have to be mindful of my audience, and that the things I sometimes let go. Some thoughts are just not for public consumption.
So I created this new account, and just like this blog, I hope I am going to be much wiser and prudent because of prior experiences. Nothing is totally safe, but I hope my circle of readers and friends will really be those who mean a lot to me.
Maybe, today's entry shall focus on why I created that new FB account.
I am a coward you see. Rather than confront the situation I was facing,I chose to run away and hide. How long more will it be before I am discovered?
Facebook has been good to me in many ways. It has helped me established links with others, broadened my network of friends, and of course, reconnected me with people whom I have not touched based with for a long time. But hence lies the problem, or my so-called dilemma.
Had I been selective about who I added, I would not have easily faced the problem of having 'unwanted' friends. I think you know what I mean when I say, I would rather be left alone. It is not a game. But how do I choose? Is there a'nice way' of putting people down?
When I was younger, I thought it would have been great if I had lots and lots of friends. The more the merrier. But now, I value my privacy. And the very nature of my job placed me in a dilemma. I needed to be very very guarded with my responses. I have to be mindful of my audience, and that the things I sometimes let go. Some thoughts are just not for public consumption.
So I created this new account, and just like this blog, I hope I am going to be much wiser and prudent because of prior experiences. Nothing is totally safe, but I hope my circle of readers and friends will really be those who mean a lot to me.
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