According to Maslow, there are 5 levels of human needs.
The most basic would be our physiological ones - like air, food, water.
It then moves up to safety, love(& belonging),esteem and at the apex, self-actualisation.
Once we are have the needs at each level met, we should then move up hierarchy to fill up the void.
Yet,as humans...we have an insatiable 'hunger'...we are always wanting 'something.
It is not just food.
We crave for many, many things, and that is where wants, dreams, desires, goals, ambitions, or whatever you may want to call it, come in.
Something within us will drive us to seek for them...and pushes us to obtain it.
Are our 'wants' our 'needs'?
It's getting tough to to distinguish which is which.
I know myself that there will always be things that I go after...from those little tubs of Ben & Jerry's to even bigger dreams like that PhD someday. Could my wants be stemmed from some unfulfilled needs?
Anyway, I found something which I hope would be of good use to me ... as a teacher, parent and an individual. It is taken from the University of Honolulu website.
It points out how we can develop our children and ourselves ... by focusing on the fulfilling our needs.
1.We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2.We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3.We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4.We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5.We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6.We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7.We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8.We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9.We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10.We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices,
Prayer for today:
Dear God, I thank you for the 'wake up call', for I have I have not been conscious of my actions lately. Give me strength to do the things I have to do, and the sanity and faith to move on. Ameen
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
A Favourite Poem
REMEMBER
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Do Something & Stop Whining
The other say, something asked me why the entries seem bleak lately.
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Being Cruel to be Kind
Yesterday, students from the graduating classes were herded into the AVA room. Class by class they went, where they spent about 1 hour, listening to the most important person in school.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Blowing the smoke away from the smokescreen
It is not that I suddenly have so much to write about today. But only you will understand the essence of this entry.
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
The message on the phone read " I wrote those not to lighten your burden." Haha..is this intentional, or a Freudian slip? The choice of the word burden...is heavy enough.And I will read it as it is.
It is interesting how we interpret things...cos it does fall back on attitudes, character and perspectives. I think if I were to ever take a colour quiz with you, our answers will probably not match at all. I have long known that it would be easier to agree to disagree, than to find common ground.
But I want to remind you something, and it is best expressed to the poem on "Let Go"
To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realisation that
I must not control another.
To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.
To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.
To 'let go' is to fear less
and love more.
(Poet Unknown)
Drawing the line, basically means the same thing. Watch and observe...Interfere only when it is absolutely necessary.
Hey...you can't get rid of me that easily...kekekeke
Lessons from Death
Today was 'a day of sorts'.
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
I am trying to pinpoint the mood I am currently in. It seems to waver between hope and depair...Haha, that says a lot.
The mood has its foundations based on the news articles that appeared in both the Berita Harian and ST on Uddin's sudden passing on Monday. I read the papers daily, and never has an article affected me, (and the children) so badly. "Mercy Relief Worker dies on Mission"...I am sure the general readers would see it as another picture, another story.
But to my kids, he was their 'Uncle Din.'- the cheerful, fun-loving man who played with and talked to them when there were family gatherings. What others will not see is the pain and sorrow that the family carries in mourning his loss...the more than 24hours wait...till the body was brought back from Manila to Singapore...to the arms of a griefing mother who had not seen her son for so long; only to whisper a last goodbye.
(Al-Fatehah buat Shalahudin bin Johari 1971-2009)
Death affects people in many ways. I have lost too many loved ones recently, and the lesson each one has taught me is that Life...is indeed something so precious that I really need to look at what is important in my life so that I will not waste it.
Death is the Mighty Leveller...in death, everyone seems to be the same...a cold, lifeless form. But where does the soul go? And if we leave all our earthly possessions behind, what then can we bring along to the other world? Am I prepared to face my Creator with whatever little that I have spiritually? What have I done in readying myself for this inevitable journey.
Death is not biased. It does not pick on the old or the sickly only. Humans are mere mortals, and there is no one in the world who can predict when he would go. That lie the hands of God, the Almighty.
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]
The Malays have a phrase "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, Manusia mati meninggalkan nama".- a man will be remembered by his character, and his deeds.
The point is this.
A reminder to myself, my kids and my family.
"See good...hear good...speak good...Be good & Do good."
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
When the Spirit is brokened...
Today, I felt demoralised.
It was not by the words that were said, nor the actions.
It was a painful realisation that I may not be a good teacher after all.
I walked into class today with a very specific objective in mind.
I wanted them prepared...and ready.
I wanted them bright, bushy-tailed and all ready to take in the knowledge I wanted to impart in them.
But then...the things that happened...
I have talked about opening up their minds...but have I crippled their thinking?
I want them to be quick and able to think on their feet...but have I intimidated them into keeping quiet and say nothing at all?
I used to think that apathy could be the cause; and the lack of self-awareness could be the contributing factor to their passivity. But this is not it. I like being with them...on their own, they are very nice, well-mannered kids.
Is fear paralysing them?
But don't they realise that they are sinking even faster in this quick-sand like situation if they do not want to help themselves?
While I do my part, suddenly I am overwhelmed at the enormity of having to be accountable for the results they produce. That alone is leaving me breathless. There are no excuses I can give if they do not do well. All fingers will come pointing at me.
My dear kids, I do hope that you remember this.
My 'work' is to make sure you pass, and do well in the exams. I come in...all rah rah and ready, but the general lethargy will get to me. At one point, it seems like the Dementors in Harry Potter's stories, sucking out the life in me.
I cannot be pushing all the time...I cannot be the one catching you each time you fall...You cannot fall, because you do not even seem to want to try.
Please, please. This is a plea.
Do not break my spirit too. I have just that much...and I cannot be positive for everybody.
You have to start...use baby steps if you have too...
Someone catch me please...
I am falling.
It was not by the words that were said, nor the actions.
It was a painful realisation that I may not be a good teacher after all.
I walked into class today with a very specific objective in mind.
I wanted them prepared...and ready.
I wanted them bright, bushy-tailed and all ready to take in the knowledge I wanted to impart in them.
But then...the things that happened...
I have talked about opening up their minds...but have I crippled their thinking?
I want them to be quick and able to think on their feet...but have I intimidated them into keeping quiet and say nothing at all?
I used to think that apathy could be the cause; and the lack of self-awareness could be the contributing factor to their passivity. But this is not it. I like being with them...on their own, they are very nice, well-mannered kids.
Is fear paralysing them?
But don't they realise that they are sinking even faster in this quick-sand like situation if they do not want to help themselves?
While I do my part, suddenly I am overwhelmed at the enormity of having to be accountable for the results they produce. That alone is leaving me breathless. There are no excuses I can give if they do not do well. All fingers will come pointing at me.
My dear kids, I do hope that you remember this.
My 'work' is to make sure you pass, and do well in the exams. I come in...all rah rah and ready, but the general lethargy will get to me. At one point, it seems like the Dementors in Harry Potter's stories, sucking out the life in me.
I cannot be pushing all the time...I cannot be the one catching you each time you fall...You cannot fall, because you do not even seem to want to try.
Please, please. This is a plea.
Do not break my spirit too. I have just that much...and I cannot be positive for everybody.
You have to start...use baby steps if you have too...
Someone catch me please...
I am falling.
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