I never thought I would actually come across a book with such a title - but I did today. There it was, on the TIMES bookstore at Tampines One. It had a bright orange cover, and it caught my eye when I browsed through the self-help section.
I had laughed aloud...so someone had beaten it to me...or at least someone shared my sentiments about porcupines...from the fact that they are one of the most vulnerable animals, and that, the quills are there as part of the defensive mechanism.
Is there anything new book? It reaffirmed my own beliefs and assumptions about the porcupines in my life...The only thing that I never really thought about was it was indeed really possible to hug a porcupine.
Apparently, it can be done...if one knows when, where and how to approach the edgy, nervy and fidgety. But haha...I am not going to reveal what the book said. Gave away too many secrets already.
So Dee, take a deep breath when you face the porcupines again.
You might never know...
I may get through and the porcupine may not even raise its quills again. (Haha...I can always hope, can't I?)
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Quiet Moments
It's still the wee hours in the morning, and things are very quiet.
We had eaten our 'sahur' - the last meal before we begin the fast for the day. The kids have parked themselves in my room again, so they are sprawled all over the floor.As much as they tried to keep awake for the call to prayer, they slowly slip to la la land.
I managed to read a few verses of the Holy Book.
That in itself, has brought about a sense of calm and serenity. The mind may still be filled with thoughts of things undone, and deadlines to meet, but the spirit is soothed. I know I should be doing this more, and being 'busy' is precisely the reason for the unsettled feelings that have been building up.
The cats are in the room too; maybe the truce induced by the need to be in a cool room to sleep. Whoever gets the main portion of the bed becomes the 'queen bee', and it is an unwritten rule that the throne on the bed means who gets the biggest share of strokes and cuddles. For the past few nights, Murphee would rather forgo dinner so that she can sprawl herself at the centre of the bed.
The call to prayer is heard over the radio.
The muazzin's voice is hauntingly melodic...and there is the reminder that it is better to 'prayer' than to sleep.
Ironically, this is the time when my eye-lids find themselves extra heavy...
Temptations...
It is I who can overcome my own desires; my own weaknesses.
It is always easy to find excuses and procrastinate.
Prayer for the day:
God, I am humbled.
Grateful that you have given the gift of life to me for another day.
Thankful that you gave me the ability to think and reflect.
I shall not waste today.
I am going to spend it with my children, my family...
Ameen...ya rabbal alamin -
We had eaten our 'sahur' - the last meal before we begin the fast for the day. The kids have parked themselves in my room again, so they are sprawled all over the floor.As much as they tried to keep awake for the call to prayer, they slowly slip to la la land.
I managed to read a few verses of the Holy Book.
That in itself, has brought about a sense of calm and serenity. The mind may still be filled with thoughts of things undone, and deadlines to meet, but the spirit is soothed. I know I should be doing this more, and being 'busy' is precisely the reason for the unsettled feelings that have been building up.
The cats are in the room too; maybe the truce induced by the need to be in a cool room to sleep. Whoever gets the main portion of the bed becomes the 'queen bee', and it is an unwritten rule that the throne on the bed means who gets the biggest share of strokes and cuddles. For the past few nights, Murphee would rather forgo dinner so that she can sprawl herself at the centre of the bed.
The call to prayer is heard over the radio.
The muazzin's voice is hauntingly melodic...and there is the reminder that it is better to 'prayer' than to sleep.
Ironically, this is the time when my eye-lids find themselves extra heavy...
Temptations...
It is I who can overcome my own desires; my own weaknesses.
It is always easy to find excuses and procrastinate.
Prayer for the day:
God, I am humbled.
Grateful that you have given the gift of life to me for another day.
Thankful that you gave me the ability to think and reflect.
I shall not waste today.
I am going to spend it with my children, my family...
Ameen...ya rabbal alamin -
The Child
The signs were already there. I supposed I have tried so hard to ignore. I can sense 'that' vibes, and perhaps, that is why the child is quite frightened of me.
I have come down extra hard...'scolding' over the slightest mistakes in the work done. When put in the spot, this child stammers, and quickly withdraws...now, this child thinks twice before coming to me to ask for help.
Why?
Why do I treat this one so differently ?- when in the past, I know what I had to do with the Special One.
Maybe I am the one who is afraid...
I am not able to watch out for this particular one.
A Prayer for the Day:
God, if this is what you have for me, prepare me.
I need to believe that I can do it. Ameen
I have come down extra hard...'scolding' over the slightest mistakes in the work done. When put in the spot, this child stammers, and quickly withdraws...now, this child thinks twice before coming to me to ask for help.
Why?
Why do I treat this one so differently ?- when in the past, I know what I had to do with the Special One.
Maybe I am the one who is afraid...
I am not able to watch out for this particular one.
A Prayer for the Day:
God, if this is what you have for me, prepare me.
I need to believe that I can do it. Ameen
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Needs, Wants, Desires & Dreams
According to Maslow, there are 5 levels of human needs.
The most basic would be our physiological ones - like air, food, water.
It then moves up to safety, love(& belonging),esteem and at the apex, self-actualisation.
Once we are have the needs at each level met, we should then move up hierarchy to fill up the void.
Yet,as humans...we have an insatiable 'hunger'...we are always wanting 'something.
It is not just food.
We crave for many, many things, and that is where wants, dreams, desires, goals, ambitions, or whatever you may want to call it, come in.
Something within us will drive us to seek for them...and pushes us to obtain it.
Are our 'wants' our 'needs'?
It's getting tough to to distinguish which is which.
I know myself that there will always be things that I go after...from those little tubs of Ben & Jerry's to even bigger dreams like that PhD someday. Could my wants be stemmed from some unfulfilled needs?
Anyway, I found something which I hope would be of good use to me ... as a teacher, parent and an individual. It is taken from the University of Honolulu website.
It points out how we can develop our children and ourselves ... by focusing on the fulfilling our needs.
1.We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2.We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3.We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4.We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5.We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6.We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7.We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8.We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9.We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10.We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices,
Prayer for today:
Dear God, I thank you for the 'wake up call', for I have I have not been conscious of my actions lately. Give me strength to do the things I have to do, and the sanity and faith to move on. Ameen
The most basic would be our physiological ones - like air, food, water.
It then moves up to safety, love(& belonging),esteem and at the apex, self-actualisation.
Once we are have the needs at each level met, we should then move up hierarchy to fill up the void.
Yet,as humans...we have an insatiable 'hunger'...we are always wanting 'something.
It is not just food.
We crave for many, many things, and that is where wants, dreams, desires, goals, ambitions, or whatever you may want to call it, come in.
Something within us will drive us to seek for them...and pushes us to obtain it.
Are our 'wants' our 'needs'?
It's getting tough to to distinguish which is which.
I know myself that there will always be things that I go after...from those little tubs of Ben & Jerry's to even bigger dreams like that PhD someday. Could my wants be stemmed from some unfulfilled needs?
Anyway, I found something which I hope would be of good use to me ... as a teacher, parent and an individual. It is taken from the University of Honolulu website.
It points out how we can develop our children and ourselves ... by focusing on the fulfilling our needs.
1.We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices.
2.We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3.We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate.
4.We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living.
5.We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there.
6.We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7.We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living.
8.We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas.
9.We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death.
10.We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices,
Prayer for today:
Dear God, I thank you for the 'wake up call', for I have I have not been conscious of my actions lately. Give me strength to do the things I have to do, and the sanity and faith to move on. Ameen
A Favourite Poem
REMEMBER
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
"Remember" is reprinted from Goblin Market and other Poems. Christina Rossetti. Cambridge: Macmillan, 1862.
The thoughts of those who have left...whether recently or long ago, have filled my thoughts recently.
Life goes on...for the living, and the grieving. The pain does not go away that easily. Memories linger...and the feeling of loss leaves voids which are not easily filled.
Maybe...maybe...the footprints I leave behind one day...should be those happy ones...so no one will miss me.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Do Something & Stop Whining
The other say, something asked me why the entries seem bleak lately.
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
If life goes in a cycle, maybe this time round, it is harder to get out of that 'bleak' phrase. The doldrums can be pretty tough to shake off.
These past few days, I have been trying hard to also 'shake off' someone. As much as I would have liked to help her, I realise that being 'nice' and sympathetic is not going to get her back on her feet. She seems to enjoy being the 'victim'...and it gives her the best excuse to feel sorry for herself.
Gosh, I have never been so cold to a person before.
But I have to...rebuff the ways she has resorted in order to seek attention.
Look,...everyone makes mistakes...grave ones too. Everyone has their fair share of good and bad days. However, one should not go around playing the role of the self-sacrificing martyr...and expect people to be grateful to you.
On a slightly different level, I suppose the lesson is applicable to me too.
I know that at the moment, the main worry is the exams. My frustration builds because the input does not quite match the output at the moment. I too have shifted the blame...wondering why I seem to get more high strung than them.
But...this is my choice.
It is me who have chosen to worry, and I know why I have to worry.
So if that is my choice, then I will learn to live with it.
So come on...shake yourself out of this.
Enough already.
Just keep on going and plough out.
I better start listening to what I tell others to do.
Dee...stop whining!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Being Cruel to be Kind
Yesterday, students from the graduating classes were herded into the AVA room. Class by class they went, where they spent about 1 hour, listening to the most important person in school.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
It was about time that they had a wake-up call.
She pulled no punches, and delivered her message matter-of-factly.
The message is simple and chilly - based on the results, 70% of the cohort may not even make it to the poly.
She spoke about CAR -the choice, attitude and responsibility.
The problem lie with Attitude: how they perceive the exams, and how they approach it.
I do not know if the reality check would work.
But I pray that it will.
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