Death Be Not Proud

A Good Read - Death be not Proud

Don't worry...I am not going to subject anyone to reading John Donne's sonnet "Death be not Proud." However, if you ever have the chance to lay your hands on the book of the same title by John Gunther, let me tell you that it is one of the best books you'll ever read.

I can't remember when I first read that book; maybe it was in primary school. But I remember it being a compelling autobiographical story...of the writer coming to terms with his son's illness. Johnny Gunther, was a lively, outgoing and intelligent teen who was struck by brain tumor.

The novel traces the real life events of Johnny' struggle with his crippling disease, and his parents anguish at seeing their son suffer. The writing is simple, and yet oh-so poignant. It's a heartbreaking tale...and yet, a celebration of a strong human spirit that refuses to be defeated.

Johnny refused to let cancer defeat his spirit. He really had a zest for life, and was there were many times in the book, I, as the reader, even questioned the unfairness of it all. Why did something so bad have to befall on him?

To top it all, they released the movie version of the book starring the then heart-throb, Robby Benson. He captured the sensitive character of Johnny Gunther to a T...and when Johnny died, I remember weeping buckets at the cinema.

I have always loved the books rather than the screenplay (yes...even the movie magic of Harry Potter cannot touch the magic of Rowling's imagination).

I am not sure if it is still possible to find a copy of the book. But if you are able to do so, please let me know.

Death be not Proud ... we all can learn a thing or two from it....about dignity, courage and an indomitable spirit...I know I have.

Those Were the Days...

Those Were The Days...

I went to the 1st Singapore World Aids Day Concert this evening. It was held at Fort Canning Park, under the night sky and beautiful stars. It was a great evening to be outdoors, for the weather was fine, and we laid the mats on the ground for a picnic.

I was there with my sis and her girl, and with Zafran, Zarifah and Akmal. It was Akmal's first 'adult' concert (Sesame Street, Disney & Barney do not count)...and it was great to see them having fun. Most of the stars were local groups Electrico, Stephanie Sun, Hossan Leong, DimSum Dollies and Hady Mirza (to name a few)

I thought I had long given up concerts...(especially after I told myself that the Osmonds would be my absolute last!)

However, I was lulled back to the days of jam and hops during varsity days. It was a time of music and dance, of being friends and making new ones....of the nights outside the library...and seranaded by the soothing melodic voices which were able to melt hearts.

I hope...that the music will still go on.

Prayer for today:
God, please bless Abah and Mak on their 44th wedding anniversary. Such is their love..still going strong. - Ameen

The Paintbrush

The Paintbrush
(poet unknown)

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.


I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.


I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.


So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.


Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.


I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.


So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.


I am not sure how many of you remember this poem. But the classes who got that little notebook, and had to write their journals, would find a printed copy of this poem in there.

It deals with a person's insecurities...and tnat sometimes, we all hide behind some kind of facade. Hiding may not solve the problems, for we cannot run away forever.

We need to remind ourselves that we can never fully understand a person...and never allow ourselves to be blindsided by our prejudices, our biases, and our assumptions of what a person is like.

Lessons from a clown

Lessons from a Clown
(For my special child)

I know that the past weeks have not been easy. Though you wear a smile on your face, I am able to see through you. The colours around you are faded and dull, as if the problems of the world have sucked the lustre and vitality around you.

I see you...
even though the mask you wear is like a sealed armour,
and as you resist...
the only way I can get through to you is really to start peeling those hardened layers...one by one.
I will continue to do so. Remember...I've told you time and time again...we sometimes have to be cruel to be kind.

Today, I want to tell you something about clowns.
We all know that clowns are supposed to make people happy. Their job is to make others laugh at and with them; to put smiles on faces. They fill children with joy by their silly antics.

But do you really think that it is easy being a clown?

I read somewhere, that in reality, some of the best clowns in the world...are 'the saddest people' in the world. The reason for the irony is that it may really take a person who truly understands what it means to be down and out, to feel so low and disillusioned...that he is able to reach out to another. He is able to empathise, and thinks of the hurt and pain of others.

Then to hide his own sorrows, to puts on the layers of face paint...to mask his true self. He in turn gets some comfort in the thought of making someone else feel good.

I am not comparing you to a clown...don't worry. But I think you are perceptive enough to know what I mean.

Here's the thing I hope you will really think about as you face your challenges each day.

Life...does not really have to make sense sometimes.
There are things that we cannot understand, and cannot rationalise.
So don't try to understand everything - nothing is purely black and white.

Don't be afraid...
to allow your heart to rule your head at times.
to wear your heart on your sleeve...and let others know how you feel.
When things go right, celebrate and be grateful.
And if things go wrong...live with it..and still be grateful.

I know deep within you,
you are resilient, and perservering...
So don't allow yourself to feel disheartened to try to make things better.
There will be days...when you feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Bear it a while, and move on.

Live each day of your life to the fullest...
for your yesterdays will be of meaningful memories; and not of guilt or regrets
and your tomorrows...be the stepping stones to your destiny.

Take time to learn, and discover more about yourself,
for the inner journey is just as important as the outer one.
Make this learning a lifelong journey, for it makes you a better person.

There are so many things I want to tell you...but the most important now is this.
Never for once, think that you are alone...and that you have nobody.
You do...remember that.

I will end this entry with this poem by Walt Whitman.

"Each man and each woman of you I lead
upon a knoll.
My left hand is hooking you around the waist,
My right hand pointing to landscapes of continents
and the public road.
Not I, not any one else can travel the road for you.
You must travel it for yourself."

Prayer for Today
Dear God...bless and look after this child...and all the children of the world...for they hold the future. - Ameen

I'm able to think again

I Am Able to Think Again


After days of doing mindless chores and decluttering, I am quite glad that I signed up for the conference. Even if it means having to travel to the other end of the island (& getting up at an ungodly hour), so far, no regrets.

The keynote speaker spoke about the lessons (in educational context) that the East and West can learn from each other.

But the most pertinent question he posed to us was this:
What is the value of education and knowledge today?

In the past, the process of being educated, is seen as being more than important...It is seen as one of the ultimate aims of life.

But with the challenges of the world we face, is getting an education a means to an end? We were once told..."If you study hard, and do well, you will get a good job in future." Really? No wonder, in an age of instant gratification...the idea of having to ''work hard' for goals that they cannot immediately see is so hard to buy in.

Furthermore,,...look at the 'role models' of the world today.
Who are those whom the younger generation look up to...the popstars, the 'superjocks' and sports heroes. Prof. Elliot calls it 'anti-intellectualism'...a movement whereby the Geeks and people who strive to gain knowledge are not held in high regard.

I feel that in the end...one gets educated, and enjoy learning...more for its intrinsic worth.At least, it works for me.

"The Living Years"

The Living Years

One of the best lyrics ever written , I feel, is found in the song "The Living Years", by Mike and the Mechanics. The song, is deceptively simple. It is about a son, who upon the birth of his child, reflects upon his own tumultuous relationship with his father. He comes a full circle, for only when he is placed in his father's shoes, he is able to understand his dad's "spirit", and hears his "echoes".

I have used this song for my lessons, and I think, some of you out there, may remember this. There has always been a range of responses for this exercise...for those who could immediately understand the power of the lyrics...and those who stubbornly resist 'a futile sentimental exercise' for 'my parents will never change."

Do you burn bridges, or do you build them?

"Every generation, blames the one before,
and all of their frustrations, come beating on your door..."

The generation gap is the easiest excuse to use each time the parent and the child find themselves not being able to agree with each other. Really? Are they so different in their outlook and values? Are we really not able 'to see eye-to-eye'? The parent as the adult, thinks that he has absolute authority to impose his ways, for he has a right over his child...and of course, the child sees the parents' as unreasonable tyrants who make impossible demands and set ridiculous expectations?


"I know I am a prisoner to all my father held so dear.
I know I am a hostage to all his hopes and fears..."


It's tough being a child, a teen...but I must tell you that it is going to be even tougher being a parent ... to a teen. Almost all parents think it is their prerogative to decide what is best for their child...and sometimes, they forget that what they want may not be best for the child...


"You say you just don't see it, he says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement in this present tense
We all talk a different language, talking in defense"


So what went wrong? How did things go wrong?
I mean...if we look at the bigger picture of our imperfect world...when men can never fully agree, and war breaks out because there is no consensus, no harmony; I think we can trace it back to the very basic of most relationships...of that between a parent and a child.

I find the line "we all talk a different language, talking in defense" so compellingly true. How did the relationship become so complicated? I feel that one of the hardest thing to do as a parent sometimes...is to listen....to our children.
We hear a lot of sounds...a lot of chatter...a lot of noise, but how much do we listen and understand?

It takes to two hands to clap....and communication must be a two-way channel. As humans...we all seek to understand, and be understood in return. There is no perfection in this world...and so we need not strive for it...We strive to live our lives to the fullest of our abilities, and choose ways that will bring people together; not drive them away.

I feel, before we can even talk about world peace, and about saving the world...let us save ourselves, and the people who matter most.


So to all mums and dads out there, and also the children...let us give hope to the future...in our living years.

The Paradox of Life

paradox of Life

I found something worth pondering over while surfing over the net.
The extract below is from www.poeticexpressions.co.ok.
Kudos to the person who wrote such a simple, but oh-so-deep truths about how contradicting life can be.


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less
sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a
living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street
to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but
polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write
more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to
rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to
produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to
speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


Beautiful right?

Maybe I shall add that to my own contradictions that seem to plague me.

I look, yet I do not see.
I hear, yet do not listen.
I touch, yet do not feel.
I yearn for simplicity, but get tangled up in complex webs...
Is there such a thing as honest lies?

Have I been asleep when I am awake?