The lessons in parables

I am tired today, and a wee bit demoralised by ...(you know...it is THAT TIME of the year).
Anyway, I was surfing the net to find ways to perk the flagging spirits.  No...I am not going by way of ebay...that's too dangerous on the pockets.

I read of the stories that are readily available, and because I am re-visiting the narratives with my 4Ns, I came across some parables.  Here's one that I will share today to reflect upon the lessons learnt.


 Who Is The Rich Man?



One day a wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country so that the son could see how the poor lived. They spent a day and a night at the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
 "Very good, Dad!"
"Did you see how poor people can be?"
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"
 The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the house; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have the whole horizon."
When the little boy was finished, the father was speechless.
His son then added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!" 
 
So it is pretty obvious that whole exercise was a futile one. However, is the child totally wrong?
 
1.  Never make assumptions.  As a parent, as a teacher, I make the mistake of thinking that children have the 'wisdom' and the depth of maturity that we want them to show.  Unless I specifically point out what I want them to see and learn, most of the time, they don't know what we expect them to learn.
 
2.  Communicate your expectations.  Like the first point, you need to explicitly say what you feel and think, and the reasons behind your views.  Do not be defensive. Do not come with pre-conceived notions.
 
3.  Understand that perceptions differ...and that it is ok to be different in thinking.  In this case, if the child has been brought up in a priviledged environment, will he really know what it means to be 'poor' in the first place?
 
4.  As an adult, I have been guilty of always trying to 'keep up with the Jones'...Having 'more' is relative...and the fault of us humans...we are envious, and always have looked at what we think we 'don't have' rather than what we have...
 

Really...there were many sighs that went around the room this morning.  I too thought of joining in before I found this little gem.

"May God give you...
For every storm a rainbow,
for every tear a smile,
for every care a promise
and a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share,
for every sigh a sweet song and
an answer for each prayer.”
God

Remind me of your blessings, and to be more than grateful for what I have.
What I do not have, suppress the desire to possess.

God Give

What do you see?

I decided to spend some time updating this blog.  Of course I have the usual excuse of 'no time' to explain for my absent entries.  I did lose my momentum a while back, and was contemplating whether I should close down this blog once and for all.  However, I decided against that for this is still one of the better places where I am able to think out aloud (but rationalising is a different issue altogether).

So..what's up?
Ramadan came and went.  It was a time of spiritual cleansing, not only just restricting the body from food and drink.  I thank God for his blessings...for there are many things which I am grateful for...and when this Syawal came, I am again thankful for my parents, my family and loved ones...and that I have been able to gain a lot more.

So what is the connection to the title?
What do I see...goes beyond the physical elements in my mundane existence.
I love the play of words..and I shall use the status updates I have placed on FB.  It all stems from the lesson on phrasal verbs I was doing with my class.

"Look at, look over, look into,look in on ....look around, look for, look back,...look up, look up to, looked upon as, look on as...look down, look away....

Look forward to (?)...sigh...maybe I should just change my glasses!"

Look AT...the endless marking, the mountainous piles of work, ...trying to decipher the squiggly whirls..but when I look At things lately, why do I toggle between fear and despair?

Look OVER...I scrutinse and examine...but have I become so focused in one direction that I am blindsided by my own faults?  Do I overlook and fail to see?

Look INTO...It's that time of the year...when one is held accountable for one's responsibility...But when you are in a slightly higher position...you assume responsibility of not only your shortcomings...but the rest of your team as well.

Look IN ON...hmm...I wonder just how many of my relatives' homes have I decided to give a miss this time round?  My aunts are getting on in age...I must remember that.

....you catch the drift...

I look, but I do not see many many things.
I have chosen to look away ultimately...and that is not good.

What can I look forward to?

Next year...I will start anew.
I need a fresh perspective of things.  I want to move on.

Wah...this is nonsensical....

:( :(

???
!!!
.....   ....... ........
**   **  **
:(   :(  :(

Silver Lining ...a balm for the unsettled soul

Teachers' Day...came and went.
I am grateful for the many well-wishes (in person and in kind) that I received.  I am grateful that many of my ex-students remembered me.  I am proud of how much they have moved on in life.

Ironically, it also made me ponder if I am really worthy of their thanks and gratitude.
For if I believe them...then, somehow in my mind, I have failed...I failed as a mother.

Arwah Din left us, a year ago, on the eve of Teachers' Day.  While I was away, at dinner, the news arrived of his sudden tragic demise.  I did not get back home in time, to be with my own children...especially Iffah who needed me badly.  I made a series of bad decisions to 'shield' her from getting her closure...and asking her to be stoic and 'redha'.  That led to ... this current reality.

I know this year, I have been wrought with so many uncertainties about my position, and my profession.  My priorities, my responsibilities...a dilemma.

But then, came a silver lining...a message sent by one of my special children...who brought some cleansing tears...tears that soothed my troubled spirit.  Below is what he wrote, taken from my FB account.


"Happy Teacher's day mdm adibah.



My love for culture , language and art literacy would not have started without your love and devotion with your students. How each lesson was devised, thought out and planned for the best interest of each student. you have educated me about the early stages in art appreciation, whether its drama or literature, it has shaped me in a way that has made me more empathetic to the new world at an early stage. It has made me understand people better, see the world clearer and being more attentive to people's needs.


It has lead me to be someone of better value, and taught me to appreciate the world we live in. Art has a funny way of trying to make sense of the world that is deemed insensible. Literature has a funny way of being infused into life. And life is just one big drama...


.. But in one chapter within this book, lies several pages of a once lived past. Where its constantly being referred to even to this day. A chapter where life back then, does not make sense, but in its negligence, innocent past lies a reminder, or bookmark thats denotes important events which inspires how the subsequent chapters will unfold...


.. within these few pages, dog-eared and underlined, lies a very special person who has inspired this journey sofar..


... your name has been repeated within these pages, and your actions and words has been highlighted. What you have taught echoes thru my actions.


.. in all my achievements, you played an important role. and hopefully one day, i will be someone who will inspire others.


thanks ...

Arif...I think you are already on your way to inspire others.
I only played a small role in your life, but Alhamdulillah, it has been meaningful.

Your words, warmed my heart, and put my soul at peace...at least for now.
Thank you...thank you...thank you

Teach...

A Teacher's Prayer - James J.Metcalf

"I want to teach my students how
   To live this life on Earth.
 To face it's struggles and it's strife
   And to improve their worth...
 And if I help the world to grow
   In wisdom and in grace,
 Then I shall feel that I have won
   And I have filled my place.

 And so I ask your guidance, God,
   That I may do my part.
 For character and confidence
   And happiness of heart."

For the past few years, each teacher's day celebration has left me with a lot of mixed feelings.  There is of course gratification, and joy, mixed with a tinge of ...sadness. I can't really pinpoint why for the latter, why the dull ache resides deep within.

Maybe it is the realisation of how much time ... is left...
How much impact one makes...
That one day...I will leave all this.

But I will focus on the positive...
and look into the bright, happy faces of the younger teachers
who are carrying on...with the torch held high.

Teach...with your heart and your mind
Knowledge should be imparted; tempered by wisdom.
Teach...and you will have your life touched forever.

To all the dedicated people out there who have chosen this path
Happy Teachers Day.

"Your Actions Speak So Loudly..."

I love this phrase this I want to borrow from Maxwell's book, "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect".  In it there is a sub-heading " Your Actions Speak So Loudly, I Can't Hear Your Words".  Doesn't this hit the nail on the head?

In one of my earlier entries, I think I have talked about how sometimes we do not need words to convey our thoughts and emotions.  The looks on our faces, our reactions, gestures and mannerisms are somehow able to mirror what is going through our hearts and heads.  Unless we have schooled ourselves to be good actors, or have learned to put on masks and adopt poker faces, generally, our body can be the true giveaways.

People can say plenty of things.  We all know that there some who can come up with all sorts of rhetoric.  But while people can hear what we say, they can also feel our attitude...The power of non-verbal cues are also so strong that even without words, the more sensitive and perceptive ones can pick up the silence nuances and hidden messages.  Somehow, our body does not lie, even though we can, with our mouths.  That is the general principal of how the lie detector test works.

So what is the whole point today?
Perhaps it is a reminder to myself, to be careful not to send 'mixed signals' to whoever I am speaking to.  Very often, there is where the source of misunderstanding comes from.  I have people telling me that I should not 'read too much' into certain things that are written and said...but you cannot help but be judged from the way people perceive you.

I know that many of my students will not remember exactly what I have blabbed on in class...even fewer still may remember the techniques.  But I sure hope that they will remember the day when a connection is made...from me to them, and them to me...when what I said really meant something, when they understood...and that I had been sincere with them in the encounter.

..and to AB...if you read this:
I can read and 'hear' your message loud.
But clearly?...I doubt so.
Sometimes we keep repeating certain things...as if to convince others,
when in fact, what we do, is really to convince our own self.
Do what you must...do what you already think is right.
But just be prepared...for one day
The dam will burst....Take care.