Reflections from "Attitude is Everything"

I am forcing myself to read again...no excuse that there is no time.
So I picked up this book, "Attitude is Everything" by Keith Harrell. It is rather interesting because he is not really a sociologist or a psychologist, but more of an engineer by profession. So his take on this matter is refreshing as he explains his terms with technological metaphors.

I have yet to complete my reading but here is an exerpt I have taken for self-reflection:
"The most powerful computer in the world is the human computer. Our programming, then, comes from what we hear, see and say. We can be programmed for success or failure based on how well we monitor what I call the ear-gate, eye-gate and mouth-gate.

What we see through our eye-gate goes directly into our hearts, frequently having a profound effect on our state of min, sense of well-being, and of course, our attitude.Likewise, what we hear through our ear-gate has the power to lift us up and drag us down. Finally, the mouth-gate speaks to the heart-mouth connection.:- our words have a tremendous impact on our attitude and the attitude of those around us."

Well put.
Just a reminder to myself that I have what it takes within me to make, or break my day.
It is always easy to feel upset or get angry with others, and think that they are the cause of our problems.
But I have the power to choose and decide how I want to react.
So Dee...stay strong...stay positive
With God's will, and blessings. Ameen

The Wolves Within (A Red Indian Tale)

Now each Monday, morning assembly is held in the hall. The PCCG, NE and EL groups take turn to address the school about a particular topic or issue. When it came to my turn, I shared a simple story about self-control within a person.

I am not sure who to credit the tale to, but sources from the net quote it as a Red Indian folklore. (But I will credit the powerpoint slides to my son, Akmal, who helped me piece together visuals to go along with the narration)

The Wolves Within

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. The easiest way is to hit back and inflict some kind of pain to the other person.


But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. You can use your fist. You can use insulting words. But after awhile, you will ask yourself if this is really necessary. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

The old man continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me;

One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

This is the wolf that guards my feelings of compassion, honour, care and integrity.

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. He thinks he is always right.

It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit. Each time when I feel I have been wronged by others; the two wolves rise within. When they fight, I feel torn apart."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."
_______________________________________________________________________________
It took a while for the message to sink in, for the ending seems short and abrupt.  But if I may say so, there was a general hush in the hall.  It felt quite good to be able to read aloud, and having the kids 'soothed' by the story they are listening to, and trying to absorb the ideas being put forward.
But back to the story. Who wins?
It is always you who do have the power to make something out of your own life.

Life is always a matter of choice. Whatever the circumstances may be, you can choose the level at which you live. You can choose what to think about the various events that play out in front of your eyes. You can choose how to respond to the challenges and opportunities that come along your way.

We all have wolves within...
But lets choose the right one to feed.

Where do you draw the line?

In my line of duty, one of the 'unspoken' responsibilities is to 'save as many lives' as possible. Nope, we are not as noble as doctors, nor heroic as the firefighters and the policemen...but whenever we come across a 'lost soul', we do try as much as possible to put the person back on track.

But where do you draw the line?
When do you realise that no matter what you do, there are among those, who
a) take advantage 'second chances' too many times and abuse your trust and belief
b) simply can't be bothered to be saved
c) are so 'lost' beyond the point of redemption?

I don't know how to give an answer based on facts.  This is human nature...not some number game, or something that can be explained rationally or logically.
When I feel uncomfortable, and when I know the vibes and auras are not right...then I listen to my gut feeling.

Sadly...some people...there is just no point helping.
What a waste!

Disengagment - a matter of choice

Today, I was nearly jumping up and down in frustration over a child who apparently shows no interest in his work at all. You see, most of the time, if I scold the students, some will either show me a sulky response, or some form of mortification. But with this one - blase, nonchalance and absolutely-I-don't-give-a-damn demeanour irks me to no end. It is insolence at its utmost -

I have tried the soft approach - it did not work. I tried the hard approach. It still does not work. Words have the same effect on him as water has on a duck's back.  Nothing gets to him.
So now what?
The best description for this child is 'disengaged' - he is totally not connected to anyone nor anything.
It seems as though he lives in a world of his own creation- cut off from the rest of the world.  To him, whatever goes around him that is not synchronised with his own agenda, is something of an inconvenience to his life.  He is tactless to the point of being selfishly heartless. And what is worse, he does not even care that no one in the class likes him, or even bother about him.

How does a child ever reach to a point like that?
I have always believed that everyone has a redeeming quality...but so far...sigh
I end up huffing and puffing till I turn blue!

He doesn't care, or is it that he does not know how to?
He does not feel, or is he afraid to feel?
He is not connected, or has someone rejected him in the past to make him this way?

I don't know.
But he has chosen....not to care, or feel, or think.
And this is so sad.

Flexibility & Change

I will now try shorter entries so that I can find the time to continue writing on a more regular basis.
This morning, I came across this quote

"Inflexibility is one of the worst human failings.
You can learn to check impetuosity,
overcome fear with confidence,
and laziness with discipline.
But for rigidity of mind, there is no antidote.
It carries the seeds of its own destruction." - Anonymous

Well, it is not that dramatic...there are many other human vices I can think of. But indeed, if we fear change, and refuse to change our mindsets - all in the name of being true to our values and beliefs - then I feel that we are missing out.  You can have the 'unnegotiable things in life'...but you need to have an open mind. You need to understand the bigger picture of things, and not be stubbornly resistant that you refuse to see things from another person's perspective.

One last reminder - "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape" - Michael McGriff
You accept, you adapt, you understand and become better.

Deep Speak - Self Reflections

Today, as I cleared my drawers in school, I came across a box of cards.
The title of these cards is "Deep Speak", and basically, the set consists of 120 questions on beautifully designed cards, which are meant for deep thinking.

"Some questions are hard to answer
Some questions take us by surprise
Some questions haunt us for years
Some questions make us laugh
Some questions challenge our values
...and our picture of who we are..."

This is what is written on the cover of this box.
I had used this questions when I taught literature last year, and needed to draw my shy, seemingly unresponsive kids from their shells.

I have picked out one for self-reflection of my own.
This question reads, "What do you think is the hardest thing for young people today/"
Lets see...
I feel that while the younger generation are born in an era where life has been made much easier by all the technological advances, it has ironically made their lives less 'meaningful'.  They have access to fast information; can travel conveniently around the globe; and have most of their jobs less physically tiring by modern machines.

But has the 'easy' life made the young too comfortable? Do they assume that they can always get things the fast and simple way; and that eventually, money will be the way to cure all the evils of the world they perceive?

How will they learn to be more resilient and less dependent?
Will they be able to think on their feet?
Can they retain values like compassion, empathy, care and kindness?

Young people today are lucky since they do not really have to 'suffer' much...and yet, I worry that without that necessary hardship; many will take things for granted.  They may be more self-centred, and inward looking; and put their own needs first before the greater good of mankind.

I may be wrong..I am sure that there are still plenty of decent, well-grounded young individuals out there.
But just a gentle reminder here...
Life is not just the pursuit of material and physical gains.
Happiness, love and good health are still key to the human existence....Do not forget that

Lessons from" The Road Less Travelled" (life's lessons)

I need a little 'food for the soul". So Kit told me to re-read "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck.
It's a classic...with a good dose of common sense and deep reflections.
Maybe this is the emotional and mental sustenance I need right now.

The first chapter starts like this:
"Life is difficult"
Often we moan and groan about this. We whine, we grumble...and make ourselves the victim of everything else except for our own selves.

I guess it would be so much easier to accept that it may be a fact that life is difficult.
There are no free passes
Nothing comes easy; nothing is for free.
Challenges and obstacles will stand in my way, at some point or another.

So here is the challenge.
Do I continue to adopt a victim, self-pitying mentality?
Or do I grit my teeth, and tell myself...
"Face it...Only I can help myself"...

ah....there are days...and there are days...
Right now...it's getting myself to believe...in myself again.
When life gives you lemons...
Learn to enjoy the tang!


Dear God
Give me strength.
Amin.