Do you Splatter or Bounce?
(Text-type:Exposition)
I have been thinking about the idea of resilience recently. When one is physically sick, the body may not be strong enough to withstand the aches and pains. However, I realise that the mind is by far, a much 'stronger' part of the self, that can really make or break a person.
Do you splatter or bounce? A rubber ball, when dropped, is likely to bounce, even if it from a great height. Most other things, with greater density, is likely to go splat.
If we build resilience within ourselves, we learn to bounce back. We will not fall flat on our faces in times of adversity. We learn to pick ourselves up, and keep on going. We learn that when we fall, we can learn how to rise again.
It is all in the mind.
If we have already decided that we will splatter...then it is likely that we will.
So, keep telling ourselves...boing...boing...boing...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A Story to share
A Lesson in Reaction
(Text-type - Narrative: Moral Tale)
Today's entry is to share with everyone a tale I enjoyed reading. I hope that some of you will find value in the message it brings across.
The Samurai's Tale
Once a samurai lent some money to a poor fisherman who promised to pay him back after a particular period. So when the time was up, the samurai went to the fisherman's house to claim his loan.
Unfortunately, times were bad, and the fisherman was not able to pay what he had owed. In anger, the samurai was ready to strike at the helpless fisherman for not keeping to his promise. The sword he held in his hand drew very close to his debtor's head.
"Please. Wait a minute. I have been learning martial arts too. My master told me that a true warrior will never kill in anger." The fisherman said boldly.
At that, the samurai hesitated. He stared at the face of the fisherman for a moment, and slowly lowered his weapon.
"Your teacher is wise. My master used to tell me the same thing. And I have forgotten. Ok..I will give you a year to repay your debt. But if you fail then, I will not think twice about killing you." With that, the samurai left.
The samurai then went home, thoughtful. He arrived home, quietly, late at night. To his surprise, he saw his wife asleep in bed. Beside her, was a stranger, dressed in samurai clothing. Jealously and anger overwhelmed him, for he thought his beautiful wife had betrayed him. He was ready to punish her, and the stranger.
But as he was about to slay them, the words of the fisherman, came back to him. "A true warrior will never kill in anger." Trembling, he lay down his sword, and deliberately made a loud noise.
His wife woke up immediately, startled. And so did the 'stranger', who turned out to be his mother, who had worn his clothes.
"What is the meaning of this?" he yelled. "I nearly killed both of you."
"We were afraid of robbers while you were away. So I asked Mother to impersonate you so that we will not be disturbed." she explained.
A year later, the samurai went to find the fisherman. This time, the fisherman was ready. His fortunes had improved, and he was able to put aside the money, including the interest.
"You are an honourable man. You keep the money. The truth is, you have repaid your debt to me, long ago." said the samurai, and with that, he left.
Hmmm....a simple, yet wise tale people.
Someone once said," Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
How true.
Anger is such a powerful emotion that can destroy if it is not channeled properly.
Anger hurts others, and very other, the person who lashes out at others, bears the consequences of his own outburst, and in return, gets hurt the most.
(Text-type - Narrative: Moral Tale)
Today's entry is to share with everyone a tale I enjoyed reading. I hope that some of you will find value in the message it brings across.
The Samurai's Tale
Once a samurai lent some money to a poor fisherman who promised to pay him back after a particular period. So when the time was up, the samurai went to the fisherman's house to claim his loan.
Unfortunately, times were bad, and the fisherman was not able to pay what he had owed. In anger, the samurai was ready to strike at the helpless fisherman for not keeping to his promise. The sword he held in his hand drew very close to his debtor's head.
"Please. Wait a minute. I have been learning martial arts too. My master told me that a true warrior will never kill in anger." The fisherman said boldly.
At that, the samurai hesitated. He stared at the face of the fisherman for a moment, and slowly lowered his weapon.
"Your teacher is wise. My master used to tell me the same thing. And I have forgotten. Ok..I will give you a year to repay your debt. But if you fail then, I will not think twice about killing you." With that, the samurai left.
The samurai then went home, thoughtful. He arrived home, quietly, late at night. To his surprise, he saw his wife asleep in bed. Beside her, was a stranger, dressed in samurai clothing. Jealously and anger overwhelmed him, for he thought his beautiful wife had betrayed him. He was ready to punish her, and the stranger.
But as he was about to slay them, the words of the fisherman, came back to him. "A true warrior will never kill in anger." Trembling, he lay down his sword, and deliberately made a loud noise.
His wife woke up immediately, startled. And so did the 'stranger', who turned out to be his mother, who had worn his clothes.
"What is the meaning of this?" he yelled. "I nearly killed both of you."
"We were afraid of robbers while you were away. So I asked Mother to impersonate you so that we will not be disturbed." she explained.
A year later, the samurai went to find the fisherman. This time, the fisherman was ready. His fortunes had improved, and he was able to put aside the money, including the interest.
"You are an honourable man. You keep the money. The truth is, you have repaid your debt to me, long ago." said the samurai, and with that, he left.
Hmmm....a simple, yet wise tale people.
Someone once said," Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
How true.
Anger is such a powerful emotion that can destroy if it is not channeled properly.
Anger hurts others, and very other, the person who lashes out at others, bears the consequences of his own outburst, and in return, gets hurt the most.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
When Apathy is a Choice
When Apathy is a Choice
Today, I felt ...sad.
The very thing I had wanted to teach my kids in school about what the idea of apathy. I had wanted to open up their eyes, and make them realise that they are the captain of their destinies, and that if they can believe in that, they are ready to face any challenge they face.
Maybe I am too much an optimist...
I had hoped that through a series of lessons built on the idea of choice, attitude & responsibility, these intelligent young minds would be able to reflect upon themselves...about the things they do, and the reasons behind their actions. Am I expecting to much? Are the brains of teens not wired to be ready for such 'bigger issues'?
There is always an easier way out...to just fall back to drill, and rote learning...but I will have failed to open up the minds to think. There, I woulde have failed the in really educating the child, and preparing him for the future. I would have let them down...I would have let myself down.
I have to ask myself....does the problem lie with me, or them?
Are my expectations of them really too high?...I think not...for to do so would be to do them a disfavour.
All I have asked for was to follow 3 simple rules...the rules that, if followed in their essence, would be the solutions to many of Man's problems today.
My dear kids...have you...
- been able to look after yourselves? With the exams less than 90 days away, are you physically, mentally and emotionally prepared? Have you got your priorities right? Do you know where you are heading?
- been able to look after each other? Do you motivate each other...and push each other on? Do you stop and look at those who are ahead, or those struggling behind?
- been able to look after the larger community of Mankind?
We speak of issues pertaining to climate change and world hunger, but how much can you do, when you cannot fulfil the first one?
I hate it when I am down...for I find myself going against the very things I stand for. But I will try to fight...but I cannot keep going to the battle alone.
The war is yours and mine...We are on the same team. I cannot be having to stop and keep tending to my people who decided that I should wage the war alone...
How hungry are you?
How badly do you want to do well?
Last week, I spoke to you about playing soccer without knowing where the goalposts are. Which direction are you heading? How much do you want to win? I do not want to find myself as a coach whose players are shooting all over place, with no strategy in mind, and at times, cannot differentiate who their opponents are.
I am sad...sad...sad...
So far, some of you are achieving A....A for Apathy.
And I am struggling with that.
When you fail, I have failed more.
Today, I felt ...sad.
The very thing I had wanted to teach my kids in school about what the idea of apathy. I had wanted to open up their eyes, and make them realise that they are the captain of their destinies, and that if they can believe in that, they are ready to face any challenge they face.
Maybe I am too much an optimist...
I had hoped that through a series of lessons built on the idea of choice, attitude & responsibility, these intelligent young minds would be able to reflect upon themselves...about the things they do, and the reasons behind their actions. Am I expecting to much? Are the brains of teens not wired to be ready for such 'bigger issues'?
There is always an easier way out...to just fall back to drill, and rote learning...but I will have failed to open up the minds to think. There, I woulde have failed the in really educating the child, and preparing him for the future. I would have let them down...I would have let myself down.
I have to ask myself....does the problem lie with me, or them?
Are my expectations of them really too high?...I think not...for to do so would be to do them a disfavour.
All I have asked for was to follow 3 simple rules...the rules that, if followed in their essence, would be the solutions to many of Man's problems today.
My dear kids...have you...
- been able to look after yourselves? With the exams less than 90 days away, are you physically, mentally and emotionally prepared? Have you got your priorities right? Do you know where you are heading?
- been able to look after each other? Do you motivate each other...and push each other on? Do you stop and look at those who are ahead, or those struggling behind?
- been able to look after the larger community of Mankind?
We speak of issues pertaining to climate change and world hunger, but how much can you do, when you cannot fulfil the first one?
I hate it when I am down...for I find myself going against the very things I stand for. But I will try to fight...but I cannot keep going to the battle alone.
The war is yours and mine...We are on the same team. I cannot be having to stop and keep tending to my people who decided that I should wage the war alone...
How hungry are you?
How badly do you want to do well?
Last week, I spoke to you about playing soccer without knowing where the goalposts are. Which direction are you heading? How much do you want to win? I do not want to find myself as a coach whose players are shooting all over place, with no strategy in mind, and at times, cannot differentiate who their opponents are.
I am sad...sad...sad...
So far, some of you are achieving A....A for Apathy.
And I am struggling with that.
When you fail, I have failed more.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
My Greatest Moment of ....Fear
My Greatest Moment of ....Fear
(Text-type: Personal Recount)
I have been trying to teach the kids to write with a 'voice', and somehow, to many, that seems to be a real challenge. A personal recount is something that is...well, personal, and if one is able to draw from one's own experiences, the thoughts and ideas will flow, and the writing becomes more meaningful.
So for those of you who have heard this story before, bear with me.
For those who have not, I hope you will be able to pick up one or two pointers.
S was my student. He was polite and earnest. I had a soft spot for him because he loved Literature, my pet subject. He was so fascinated by the character of Macbeth, and often questioned the motives for Macbeth's actions.
For some reason, S would memorise quotes from the well-known Shakespearean play, and was able to use them appropriately even in his daily conversations. I was impressed by his sensitivity and passion for the subject. Though his language use was rather weak, he made up with his shrewdness and perceptiveness.
Towards the preliminary exams, he became withdrawn. The once robust and cheerful disposition was replaced by a surly, temperamental one. I brushed it off, thinking that the pressure was getting to him. The quality of his written work had deteriorated too.
That morning, I walked up to class rather wearily. I was mentally preparing myself to give the students a piece of my mind about their attitude towards the exams. I felt the morale was low, but they needed a wake-up call badly. Someone had to jolt them out of their complacency.
I bumped into Edmund who was running down the stairs.
"Why are you walking around?" I demanded.
He was gasping like a fish, and was gestulating wildly. Of course I did not understand his charade. But my antenna was up, steeling myself for something unexpected. And when Edmund ran up again, I followed suit.
The class was chaotic. Somehow, the tables had been pushed to the wall nearest to the window. The metallic panes were removed from the grilles, and there were 4 gaping 'holes', like wide portals to the beyond.
A few girls were giggling nervously at another corner, while some boys passed remarks.
"Cher...he's a whacko" or "Siao already..."..."Can I push him?"
The 'him' in question was S. My heart was in my mouth as I watched in bewilderment, this strapping 17-year-old walking up and down the desks. He was precariously close to the open windows.
"Get down from there immediately!" I ordered. Even to me, it sounded like a squeak.
His attention fell on me.
"Ah...my lady..." he uttered, and bowed.
Huh? What on earth....?
"And oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray's
In deepest consequence." he muttered.
Whoa! That was deep. Did he really mean what he had said?
I moved a little closer, and instinctively, he withdrew. One leg was near the ledge.There was no room for wrong moves.
"S...Stop it...come down. NOW!" I ordered...quaking inside.
I turned to the monitor and asked him to get help. I somehow managed to beckon the class to keep quiet.
"Aiyah...he 'drama' one...waste time only." someone yelled.
"Fair is foul, and foul is fair!" S yelled in return.
I got a little closer, trembling as I approached him. There was almost a diabolical look in his eyes which did not quite meet mine. The humid weather carried a stench...perhaps eminating from him. This was not the child I thought I knew.
"There are daggers in men's smiles." he whispered theatrically.
I am not sure if I can clearly depict the extent of my fear then. It was eerie, watching this young man spew line after line of Shakespeare...and if I was to psycho-analyze his words, I felt as if he was trying to tell me a message.
"Come S...come down...please...I want to talk to you." I had to steel my nerves. It was not S I was talking to, for he seemed like a wounded animal who is trapped to a corner, and I feared for his life.
The only thing that has kept me sane all these years is my faith in God...and then too, I muttered whatever prayers I could remember. That was my hour of need...
"S...tell me what is wrong...Let me help you..." I inched even closer. In my mind, I was weighing the options I had. I knew that if he moved the other way, I would have to somehow grab him. Do I have the strength to do so? Will my reflexes be quick enough?
"Stars, hide your fires
Let not light see my black and deep desires." he continued softly.
"S...Macbeth was a man...He was not perfect...He makes mistakes...We all do." In desperation, I made wild guess as to what he was thinking. I didn't understand his fixation for Macbeth then, but I guess, in all the wild ramblings, there was something he wanted to say.
The whole classroom seemed to somehow detach itself from my consciousness. I was only aware of this troubled soul, and me...I had to do something.
"Lady Macbeth...she is bad...Bad..BAD!" he grew agitated.
"Shh....I know..but she did it because she loved her husband...She wanted him to be great."
Part of me kept wondering how on earth I could be carrying on a character analysis amid the craziness of the situation. Where on earth was the help I needed?
"She got what she deserved, remember?...she died...she was sorry." I carried on.
"Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble...Fire burn..fire burn...!" he shrieked so loudly, that he triggered a chain of screams from the girls. The hairs on my nape felt as though they were standing on ends.
Blindly, I grabbed him. The yells and shrieks that followed seemed to go on endlessy around me, and I was not sure if I was the chief contributor too. Edmund was beside me, and he was desperately trying to stop the manic stuggles of a tortured soul.
At that moment, I put my hand's on S's shoulders as he was writhing on the floor. That was the first time I touched any student that way..and the wails gave way to heart-wrenching sobs. He was shaking involuntarily...and I felt so helpless and ineffective then...for I was not able to understand the needs of this child.
I remembered vaguely some teachers coming into the room, and taking him away. I think I was on the verge of a breakdown myself...and someone gently took me to another room, while the DM restored order. The release of all my pent-up fear came in the form of copious tears, while I was comforted by a motherly colleague who soothed my troubled mind. Dear God, what have I done?
***Some of you may know that this is only the first part of this story. Each time I write about this, or tell this story, I am haunted by the eyes I saw that day. But the learning point of this entry is this...when you write, you need to feel about it. Only then will your 'voice' be heard.
(Text-type: Personal Recount)
I have been trying to teach the kids to write with a 'voice', and somehow, to many, that seems to be a real challenge. A personal recount is something that is...well, personal, and if one is able to draw from one's own experiences, the thoughts and ideas will flow, and the writing becomes more meaningful.
So for those of you who have heard this story before, bear with me.
For those who have not, I hope you will be able to pick up one or two pointers.
S was my student. He was polite and earnest. I had a soft spot for him because he loved Literature, my pet subject. He was so fascinated by the character of Macbeth, and often questioned the motives for Macbeth's actions.
For some reason, S would memorise quotes from the well-known Shakespearean play, and was able to use them appropriately even in his daily conversations. I was impressed by his sensitivity and passion for the subject. Though his language use was rather weak, he made up with his shrewdness and perceptiveness.
Towards the preliminary exams, he became withdrawn. The once robust and cheerful disposition was replaced by a surly, temperamental one. I brushed it off, thinking that the pressure was getting to him. The quality of his written work had deteriorated too.
That morning, I walked up to class rather wearily. I was mentally preparing myself to give the students a piece of my mind about their attitude towards the exams. I felt the morale was low, but they needed a wake-up call badly. Someone had to jolt them out of their complacency.
I bumped into Edmund who was running down the stairs.
"Why are you walking around?" I demanded.
He was gasping like a fish, and was gestulating wildly. Of course I did not understand his charade. But my antenna was up, steeling myself for something unexpected. And when Edmund ran up again, I followed suit.
The class was chaotic. Somehow, the tables had been pushed to the wall nearest to the window. The metallic panes were removed from the grilles, and there were 4 gaping 'holes', like wide portals to the beyond.
A few girls were giggling nervously at another corner, while some boys passed remarks.
"Cher...he's a whacko" or "Siao already..."..."Can I push him?"
The 'him' in question was S. My heart was in my mouth as I watched in bewilderment, this strapping 17-year-old walking up and down the desks. He was precariously close to the open windows.
"Get down from there immediately!" I ordered. Even to me, it sounded like a squeak.
His attention fell on me.
"Ah...my lady..." he uttered, and bowed.
Huh? What on earth....?
"And oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray's
In deepest consequence." he muttered.
Whoa! That was deep. Did he really mean what he had said?
I moved a little closer, and instinctively, he withdrew. One leg was near the ledge.There was no room for wrong moves.
"S...Stop it...come down. NOW!" I ordered...quaking inside.
I turned to the monitor and asked him to get help. I somehow managed to beckon the class to keep quiet.
"Aiyah...he 'drama' one...waste time only." someone yelled.
"Fair is foul, and foul is fair!" S yelled in return.
I got a little closer, trembling as I approached him. There was almost a diabolical look in his eyes which did not quite meet mine. The humid weather carried a stench...perhaps eminating from him. This was not the child I thought I knew.
"There are daggers in men's smiles." he whispered theatrically.
I am not sure if I can clearly depict the extent of my fear then. It was eerie, watching this young man spew line after line of Shakespeare...and if I was to psycho-analyze his words, I felt as if he was trying to tell me a message.
"Come S...come down...please...I want to talk to you." I had to steel my nerves. It was not S I was talking to, for he seemed like a wounded animal who is trapped to a corner, and I feared for his life.
The only thing that has kept me sane all these years is my faith in God...and then too, I muttered whatever prayers I could remember. That was my hour of need...
"S...tell me what is wrong...Let me help you..." I inched even closer. In my mind, I was weighing the options I had. I knew that if he moved the other way, I would have to somehow grab him. Do I have the strength to do so? Will my reflexes be quick enough?
"Stars, hide your fires
Let not light see my black and deep desires." he continued softly.
"S...Macbeth was a man...He was not perfect...He makes mistakes...We all do." In desperation, I made wild guess as to what he was thinking. I didn't understand his fixation for Macbeth then, but I guess, in all the wild ramblings, there was something he wanted to say.
The whole classroom seemed to somehow detach itself from my consciousness. I was only aware of this troubled soul, and me...I had to do something.
"Lady Macbeth...she is bad...Bad..BAD!" he grew agitated.
"Shh....I know..but she did it because she loved her husband...She wanted him to be great."
Part of me kept wondering how on earth I could be carrying on a character analysis amid the craziness of the situation. Where on earth was the help I needed?
"She got what she deserved, remember?...she died...she was sorry." I carried on.
"Double, double, toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble...Fire burn..fire burn...!" he shrieked so loudly, that he triggered a chain of screams from the girls. The hairs on my nape felt as though they were standing on ends.
Blindly, I grabbed him. The yells and shrieks that followed seemed to go on endlessy around me, and I was not sure if I was the chief contributor too. Edmund was beside me, and he was desperately trying to stop the manic stuggles of a tortured soul.
At that moment, I put my hand's on S's shoulders as he was writhing on the floor. That was the first time I touched any student that way..and the wails gave way to heart-wrenching sobs. He was shaking involuntarily...and I felt so helpless and ineffective then...for I was not able to understand the needs of this child.
I remembered vaguely some teachers coming into the room, and taking him away. I think I was on the verge of a breakdown myself...and someone gently took me to another room, while the DM restored order. The release of all my pent-up fear came in the form of copious tears, while I was comforted by a motherly colleague who soothed my troubled mind. Dear God, what have I done?
***Some of you may know that this is only the first part of this story. Each time I write about this, or tell this story, I am haunted by the eyes I saw that day. But the learning point of this entry is this...when you write, you need to feel about it. Only then will your 'voice' be heard.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Catch Them Doing Something Right
Catch Them Doing Something Right
(Text-type: Expositions)
I like to ramble at random, and I know this goes against some of the things I teach at school. But I do this for the strange reason that the more I reflect, the more I am able to control my thoughts and feelings. This is why David Banner is able to tell the Hulk.."Hey, chill out. Let's think about it before we react."
Very often, we spend 20% doing the things we want to do, and 80% reacting to the things that happen. We lose focus of our priorities easily,and get distracted by the small and petty things. We forget about the 'big picture'.
I want to put my own concerns into perspective. Remember the tagline "Do Good Anyway?" Well, I am reminded of something I read..."Catch Them Doing Something Right."
Basically, I think I have become so microscopic in my views..in wanting to get everything done right and well, that I have lost a great deal of belief and optimism. In class, I realise behind the 'patience', that is a great deal of impatience, and behind the need to succeed, is the fuel of frustration. My tank is thus running on empty for so long. It is freaking me out.
So, I will now try to make it part of my daily agenda to look out for things that go right. Just like an apology that will not kill me, I should not be stingy with praises either...but they must be sincere.
I will start with thosw who are closest to me first - my family.
To my dear hubby, who has long endured my P (perpetual - pre/during/post) MS", and my mood swings...thank for the reassuring hugs I get in the morning.
To Zafran, well done, for putting breakfast on the table this morning so that the rest of us had our tummies filled.
To Iffah, despite your "oh man!" refrain, you ironed my scarf well.
To Akmal, for thanking me for standing by you. It's nice to be appreciated.
Ronald Reagan once said, "When there is genuine encouragement,people excel and succeed;not because they are told to, but because they want to."
I found another reason why I chose Starlightmoondancer as my moniker. For even though I am not wired for it, "I will dance...and fall...and keep on dancing" ....in my best dreams.
(Text-type: Expositions)
I like to ramble at random, and I know this goes against some of the things I teach at school. But I do this for the strange reason that the more I reflect, the more I am able to control my thoughts and feelings. This is why David Banner is able to tell the Hulk.."Hey, chill out. Let's think about it before we react."
Very often, we spend 20% doing the things we want to do, and 80% reacting to the things that happen. We lose focus of our priorities easily,and get distracted by the small and petty things. We forget about the 'big picture'.
I want to put my own concerns into perspective. Remember the tagline "Do Good Anyway?" Well, I am reminded of something I read..."Catch Them Doing Something Right."
Basically, I think I have become so microscopic in my views..in wanting to get everything done right and well, that I have lost a great deal of belief and optimism. In class, I realise behind the 'patience', that is a great deal of impatience, and behind the need to succeed, is the fuel of frustration. My tank is thus running on empty for so long. It is freaking me out.
So, I will now try to make it part of my daily agenda to look out for things that go right. Just like an apology that will not kill me, I should not be stingy with praises either...but they must be sincere.
I will start with thosw who are closest to me first - my family.
To my dear hubby, who has long endured my P (perpetual - pre/during/post) MS", and my mood swings...thank for the reassuring hugs I get in the morning.
To Zafran, well done, for putting breakfast on the table this morning so that the rest of us had our tummies filled.
To Iffah, despite your "oh man!" refrain, you ironed my scarf well.
To Akmal, for thanking me for standing by you. It's nice to be appreciated.
Ronald Reagan once said, "When there is genuine encouragement,people excel and succeed;not because they are told to, but because they want to."
I found another reason why I chose Starlightmoondancer as my moniker. For even though I am not wired for it, "I will dance...and fall...and keep on dancing" ....in my best dreams.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Coming To Terms
Coming to Terms with...?
Do you know how good it was last Saturday when I was finally able to talk to Li-Ann? All these time, I have been tussling with an inner self that almost had me worried. I have often wondered if I had a split personality...like that of Jekyl and Hyde, or even David Banner and the Hulk.
Li-Ann called a it 'a very strong emotional sub-conscience.'Wah...maybe that explains why I tend to pick up the vibes around like a sponge. Now what I need to learn is how to control these tendencies and how to prepare myself for the reactions that follow.
Anyway, here is the main cause of my claustrophobia.
When I am overwhelmed, and cannot cope with stress, I need to keep people away. I need the space to allow myself to build a protective cocoon. My senses go on hyper-mode, and I need to physically push people away from me....hmmmm....New Agey, but at some point, she makes sense.
So what do I need to do?
When I need a time, I will now have to tell people...verbally ...to give me time until I am ready to face them...
Gee...
This is going to get interesting...
Do you know how good it was last Saturday when I was finally able to talk to Li-Ann? All these time, I have been tussling with an inner self that almost had me worried. I have often wondered if I had a split personality...like that of Jekyl and Hyde, or even David Banner and the Hulk.
Li-Ann called a it 'a very strong emotional sub-conscience.'Wah...maybe that explains why I tend to pick up the vibes around like a sponge. Now what I need to learn is how to control these tendencies and how to prepare myself for the reactions that follow.
Anyway, here is the main cause of my claustrophobia.
When I am overwhelmed, and cannot cope with stress, I need to keep people away. I need the space to allow myself to build a protective cocoon. My senses go on hyper-mode, and I need to physically push people away from me....hmmmm....New Agey, but at some point, she makes sense.
So what do I need to do?
When I need a time, I will now have to tell people...verbally ...to give me time until I am ready to face them...
Gee...
This is going to get interesting...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The Choices I Make
The Choices I Make
(text-type: reflection / exposition)
Well, I still can't let go of the topic as yet...and yup, I've been reading up books by John Maxwell again. Nothing like a good book to keep my mind on track.
Attitude is a choice.
Character is a choice
Responsibility is a choice.
When you have choices, the potential for growth knows no boundaries.
Our natural abilities however, our aptitude, is a gift. We all have innate talents. It is then how we choose to develop and leverage on our talents that can move us from being good to great.
I am at a crossroad at the moment. I have been in the service for almost 20 years. I love the school, and I am fond of the young people under my charge. I love to teach and connect with people. I have chosen to enjoy that part of my profession.
Are there things that throws me off balance?For sure.
I dislike several things...and even though I tell myself to make the best of whatever situation I am in, these things bother me.
I know my flaws and faults...and I know where my strengths lie.
I want to move on...and not be tied down by trying so hard to be something I am not good at...It's an uphill battle...but I will try.
We all face tough decisions ...and for me, this is going to be hard
(text-type: reflection / exposition)
Well, I still can't let go of the topic as yet...and yup, I've been reading up books by John Maxwell again. Nothing like a good book to keep my mind on track.
Attitude is a choice.
Character is a choice
Responsibility is a choice.
When you have choices, the potential for growth knows no boundaries.
Our natural abilities however, our aptitude, is a gift. We all have innate talents. It is then how we choose to develop and leverage on our talents that can move us from being good to great.
I am at a crossroad at the moment. I have been in the service for almost 20 years. I love the school, and I am fond of the young people under my charge. I love to teach and connect with people. I have chosen to enjoy that part of my profession.
Are there things that throws me off balance?For sure.
I dislike several things...and even though I tell myself to make the best of whatever situation I am in, these things bother me.
I know my flaws and faults...and I know where my strengths lie.
I want to move on...and not be tied down by trying so hard to be something I am not good at...It's an uphill battle...but I will try.
We all face tough decisions ...and for me, this is going to be hard
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
LIfe is a Paradox
Life is a Paradox - So Choose Wisely
(Text-type: Exposition)
I have so many things I want to write about; especially about the things that has taken place over the past two weeks. But just for today, to get the momentum going, I will reflect on these profound truths.
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
1.People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
2.If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
3.If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
4.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
5.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
6.The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
7.People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8.What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
9.People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
10.Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
There is another version that is found on the walls of the Mother Teresa's Home for the unwanted children in Calcutta.
I think, no matter how you look at it,our lives can be made simple by three things: Attitude, Choice and Responsibilty.
I am able to choose the attitude I want to adopt. When I have made that choice, I will be responsible for it.
I am not perfect, nor am I wholly flawed. I chose not to have a 'holier-than-thou' attitude, and thus I will measure my 'improvements' based on the standards I have chosen for myself. Before I criticise others, I must look at myself in the mirror first.
1. To err is human, to forgive divine. It is always so much easier to find the faults of others, to make critical comments and put the blame on someone else other than yourself. Even today, when I think I was unfairly hurt by a remark someone made,...I choose to hold my tongue...and forgive.
2.There are many times when I think it is not worthwhile to do good, or be good. But that is the choice I consciously make. If I start worrying about what others think about me, then I will never be able to feel happy. What is important is a clear conscience/
3. People always say that it is hard to find true friends. I think that begins with me too. If I am a hypocrite, then I am not a true friend.
4. No matter how much toot we get...I think the world would be a much better place if everyone is treated with respect and kindness. I guess, in school, this applies even more...I consciously remind myself that I am the adult...and it does not hurt to be gracious, polite and nice to everyone...
5.We sometimes avoid telling the truth because we do not want to get into trouble, or get others into trouble...but are we true to ourselves? Would it really be so hard to humble ourselves and admit our mistakes, our flaws and our blind sides...
I think this is enough for today.
I am learning to be my harshest critic, and my own best friend.
So a pat on the back...for making it through the volatile times, Dee...You can keep on going.
(Text-type: Exposition)
I have so many things I want to write about; especially about the things that has taken place over the past two weeks. But just for today, to get the momentum going, I will reflect on these profound truths.
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
1.People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
2.If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
3.If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
4.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
5.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
6.The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
7.People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8.What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
9.People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
10.Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
There is another version that is found on the walls of the Mother Teresa's Home for the unwanted children in Calcutta.
I think, no matter how you look at it,our lives can be made simple by three things: Attitude, Choice and Responsibilty.
I am able to choose the attitude I want to adopt. When I have made that choice, I will be responsible for it.
I am not perfect, nor am I wholly flawed. I chose not to have a 'holier-than-thou' attitude, and thus I will measure my 'improvements' based on the standards I have chosen for myself. Before I criticise others, I must look at myself in the mirror first.
1. To err is human, to forgive divine. It is always so much easier to find the faults of others, to make critical comments and put the blame on someone else other than yourself. Even today, when I think I was unfairly hurt by a remark someone made,...I choose to hold my tongue...and forgive.
2.There are many times when I think it is not worthwhile to do good, or be good. But that is the choice I consciously make. If I start worrying about what others think about me, then I will never be able to feel happy. What is important is a clear conscience/
3. People always say that it is hard to find true friends. I think that begins with me too. If I am a hypocrite, then I am not a true friend.
4. No matter how much toot we get...I think the world would be a much better place if everyone is treated with respect and kindness. I guess, in school, this applies even more...I consciously remind myself that I am the adult...and it does not hurt to be gracious, polite and nice to everyone...
5.We sometimes avoid telling the truth because we do not want to get into trouble, or get others into trouble...but are we true to ourselves? Would it really be so hard to humble ourselves and admit our mistakes, our flaws and our blind sides...
I think this is enough for today.
I am learning to be my harshest critic, and my own best friend.
So a pat on the back...for making it through the volatile times, Dee...You can keep on going.
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