Shoulder To Cry On
(Especially for F)
My special'children' out there, you know who you are. For some reasons which I cannot explain, each year, there will be one or two whose auras (?) and vibes become so strong that that I pick them up...and sometimes, in turn, you pick up mine.
As you move on with your lives, there are times, when I can still sense when things do not go right...and lately, the disturbing signs have come back for some of you. I wish I can be there to help you in times of great need. But there is so much that I can, and all I can offer at the moment, is a listening ear, and the shoulder you need.
For today, I'll just put the lyrics of 2 of my favourite songs. Remember, I belong to a different era than you...so the choices are 'old-fashioned' ...but I hope you will understand.
So my heart goes out to you , stay strong...stay gold...I will always believe in you.
A Shoulder to cry on (Tommy Page)
Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When its headed for the ground
And theres nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
You down
Its so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When theres many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side
Chorus:
And when you need
A shoulder to cry on
When you need
A friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You wont be alone
Ill be there
Ill be your shoulder to cry on
Ill be there
Ill be your friend to rely on
When the whole worlds gone
You wont be alone cause Ill be there
All of the times
When everything is wrong
And your feeling like
Theres no use going on
You cant give it up
Ill help you work it out
And carry on
Side by side
With you till the end
Ill always be the one
A shoulder to cry on continued
To firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on
Chorus:
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole worlds gone, you wont be alone
cause Ill be there
Ill be your shoulder to cry on
Ill be there
Ill be the one to rely one
When the whole worlds gone, you wont be alone
cause Ill be there
And when the whole world is gone
Youll always have my shoulder to cry on
Whenever You're In Trouble (Donny Osmond)
Tell me from the heart,
In your eyes I see the pain,
It's tearing you apart,
Let me take it all away,
You know someone believes in you,
When they love you no matter what you do,
You know you are home
And you're not alone,
When you hear me say...
Whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...
Sometimes you're gonna find,
Nothing goes the way you planned,
But whatever's on your mind,
I will try to understand,
You know someone is by your side,
When they help you through the darkest night,
You know you are home,
And you're not alone,
When you hear me say...
Whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...
Now's the time!
To share what you're feeling inside,
No matter how long it takes,
No matter how many mistakes!
Oh, now's the time!
To reach and you will find,
That whenever you need me to care,
I'll always be there!
Oh, whenever you're in trouble,
Whenever you may need me,
I will fight for you,
I will help you through,
Whenever life's decieving,
I'll give you new meaning,
No matter where you are,
You're always in my heart,
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here...
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here.
Dear F....hang on..hang on...hang on....
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Courage Under Fire
Courage Under Fire
(reflection)
"Write with your voice..."
I think by now most of my kids now this phrase because I keep emphasing to them in class over and over again. When one is able to connect with the heart, the words will somehow flow more naturally.
One of the topics was on Courage. While there were many stories on heroic acts, some stood out for their take on moral integrity. Those recounts were real and personal, and thus, more meaningful to the writers.
Here is my take on the topic, based on the work my colleagues do ( and also from some of the ideas from Parker Palmer and Daniel Heischmann.
Each time I walk into the room, I say a silent pray for strength.
It takes a lot of guts to stand in front of a group of young people, especially when you know that the things you teach, say and do will have an impact on them (hehehe...so all you remember are my 'stories' huh?)
There is always an element of unpredictability each day, each moment.
My lessons are dependent on so many factors ...like moods, weather, even whether technology will decide to fail on me...
I need to be quick on my feet, and brains too...and yet remain calm and composed under the most stressful times.
It takes hard work to remember that I am the adult...so under no circumstances must I let my own anger and frustration retaliate should I be provoked or challenged. "Hold your head high, and keep your fists down" - Atticus (to Kill a Mockingbird). Yes, it takes more of a man to walk away from a fight, and even much, much more when you so badly want to 'teach' a young person about rights and respect.
Courage means having to admit your mistakes when you are wrong, and ask for help when you need it. I am not a paragon of virtues, but I do have to consciously have to uphold them. To walk the talk is tough, for we humans are flawed, and having the extra weight on the shoulders because the work demands this of us, is even harder. On a lighter note, I know now it is easier to wave the white flag and ask for help...this technosaurus rex is fast becoming a technological dropout.
There are days, when the front I use seems more like bravado...especially when the synapes in my brain simply cannot connect. It is so much easier to turn a blind eye to things that are not right...like when they trade 'toot' words, put a peer down, or even come to class late and so on...But many of us push on...to guide, to teach, to impart values....again and again if we have to...not giving up is a sign of moral fortitude.
Standing up for what is right on a daily basis...that takes a real amount of courage.
So my dear friends in education, ...remember this. We may not leap off tall buildings, or go to war , or find the cure to cancer...Most of you are heroes in your own little ways, and I salute you for that.
consilio et animis - By wisdom and courage....that's how we move on
(reflection)
"Write with your voice..."
I think by now most of my kids now this phrase because I keep emphasing to them in class over and over again. When one is able to connect with the heart, the words will somehow flow more naturally.
One of the topics was on Courage. While there were many stories on heroic acts, some stood out for their take on moral integrity. Those recounts were real and personal, and thus, more meaningful to the writers.
Here is my take on the topic, based on the work my colleagues do ( and also from some of the ideas from Parker Palmer and Daniel Heischmann.
Each time I walk into the room, I say a silent pray for strength.
It takes a lot of guts to stand in front of a group of young people, especially when you know that the things you teach, say and do will have an impact on them (hehehe...so all you remember are my 'stories' huh?)
There is always an element of unpredictability each day, each moment.
My lessons are dependent on so many factors ...like moods, weather, even whether technology will decide to fail on me...
I need to be quick on my feet, and brains too...and yet remain calm and composed under the most stressful times.
It takes hard work to remember that I am the adult...so under no circumstances must I let my own anger and frustration retaliate should I be provoked or challenged. "Hold your head high, and keep your fists down" - Atticus (to Kill a Mockingbird). Yes, it takes more of a man to walk away from a fight, and even much, much more when you so badly want to 'teach' a young person about rights and respect.
Courage means having to admit your mistakes when you are wrong, and ask for help when you need it. I am not a paragon of virtues, but I do have to consciously have to uphold them. To walk the talk is tough, for we humans are flawed, and having the extra weight on the shoulders because the work demands this of us, is even harder. On a lighter note, I know now it is easier to wave the white flag and ask for help...this technosaurus rex is fast becoming a technological dropout.
There are days, when the front I use seems more like bravado...especially when the synapes in my brain simply cannot connect. It is so much easier to turn a blind eye to things that are not right...like when they trade 'toot' words, put a peer down, or even come to class late and so on...But many of us push on...to guide, to teach, to impart values....again and again if we have to...not giving up is a sign of moral fortitude.
Standing up for what is right on a daily basis...that takes a real amount of courage.
So my dear friends in education, ...remember this. We may not leap off tall buildings, or go to war , or find the cure to cancer...Most of you are heroes in your own little ways, and I salute you for that.
consilio et animis - By wisdom and courage....that's how we move on
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Credo for Life
Credo for Life - Another Re-visit
At these times when things seems...urgh!...I guess it helps to find something calming to read and reflect. This is another famous creed written by such a wise man.
Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
You know, I am actually able to smile when I think of some of the statements made, and why I am able to understand the 'yuckkiness' lately.
I have allowed myself to be so sensitive to external sounds...and forgot to hear the voice from within. I get jumpy and irritated by the cacaphony of endless chatter, the mindless moans, groans, screams, screeches, whines, and wails...I used to call them 'banshees'...the lost souls of the sea, and yet, I have been lured and fallen into their trap.
But in my desire to shut out the noise, have I forgotten to listen?
That above the din...I should be able to hear the one soft voice...of that one who really needs my help.
My Prayer for Today,
God...thank for for life's daily blessings...I am able to wake up each day, and think of new possibilities. I know that which each wall I bang my head into, you cushion the blow with something else. I hope you understand why my sense of purpose has wavered these past few days...
For today, please help me open up my ears to make sense of what is happening around me. Allow my head and my heart to make connections, so that I am able to do things with ...er logical compassion.
There are still times when I feel that hanging some people upside down...but remind to control...control...control...Ameen
At these times when things seems...urgh!...I guess it helps to find something calming to read and reflect. This is another famous creed written by such a wise man.
Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
You know, I am actually able to smile when I think of some of the statements made, and why I am able to understand the 'yuckkiness' lately.
I have allowed myself to be so sensitive to external sounds...and forgot to hear the voice from within. I get jumpy and irritated by the cacaphony of endless chatter, the mindless moans, groans, screams, screeches, whines, and wails...I used to call them 'banshees'...the lost souls of the sea, and yet, I have been lured and fallen into their trap.
But in my desire to shut out the noise, have I forgotten to listen?
That above the din...I should be able to hear the one soft voice...of that one who really needs my help.
My Prayer for Today,
God...thank for for life's daily blessings...I am able to wake up each day, and think of new possibilities. I know that which each wall I bang my head into, you cushion the blow with something else. I hope you understand why my sense of purpose has wavered these past few days...
For today, please help me open up my ears to make sense of what is happening around me. Allow my head and my heart to make connections, so that I am able to do things with ...er logical compassion.
There are still times when I feel that hanging some people upside down...but remind to control...control...control...Ameen
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Teachers Kill Students
Do Teachers 'Kill' Students
(Text-type: Expositions - Random Thoughts)
Someone asked me a rather disturbing question today. This question echoed a statement Zafran said to me the other day...and something that I had to grapple with each year. "Ma...it's the prelims...why do I get such results? Why does my teacher want to kill me?"
As we get into the final lap to prepare our students for the exams, we give them tough, and challenging questions. So whether it is the prep, mock or prelims, the papers set seem to get harder...
I speak for myself, and not the education system.
I know that I am not out to kill. There is no need to demoralise the students, especially at the time when they need to experience success...and push on.
But the exams papers are set in such a way as to test what they know, and apply the skills they have learnt.
This is the real gauge...for you can see those who have found their wings, and are ready to fly. Those who falter...there is a reason why...and the next step is to quickly remediate, and tackle the problem.
You see, it is no longer about who has the most fantastic memory. It is about how you are able to use the skills you have...and make connections, and then applying the specific content knowledge you have.
I do not 'kill'...but I will push, prod, poke,if I have to, but I will coax and cajole too.
A Prayer for today
I am still trying hard to be understanding, and bite my tongue. I know I am the 'rationale' adult, and should be the one who is in control. Please make me strong and resilient too...help me find my sense of balance again. Give me the wisdom to reach out to those who need my help, and the insight and empathy to understand that they people behave the way they do, because all they need , is someone who will never give up on them....Ameen
(Text-type: Expositions - Random Thoughts)
Someone asked me a rather disturbing question today. This question echoed a statement Zafran said to me the other day...and something that I had to grapple with each year. "Ma...it's the prelims...why do I get such results? Why does my teacher want to kill me?"
As we get into the final lap to prepare our students for the exams, we give them tough, and challenging questions. So whether it is the prep, mock or prelims, the papers set seem to get harder...
I speak for myself, and not the education system.
I know that I am not out to kill. There is no need to demoralise the students, especially at the time when they need to experience success...and push on.
But the exams papers are set in such a way as to test what they know, and apply the skills they have learnt.
This is the real gauge...for you can see those who have found their wings, and are ready to fly. Those who falter...there is a reason why...and the next step is to quickly remediate, and tackle the problem.
You see, it is no longer about who has the most fantastic memory. It is about how you are able to use the skills you have...and make connections, and then applying the specific content knowledge you have.
I do not 'kill'...but I will push, prod, poke,if I have to, but I will coax and cajole too.
A Prayer for today
I am still trying hard to be understanding, and bite my tongue. I know I am the 'rationale' adult, and should be the one who is in control. Please make me strong and resilient too...help me find my sense of balance again. Give me the wisdom to reach out to those who need my help, and the insight and empathy to understand that they people behave the way they do, because all they need , is someone who will never give up on them....Ameen
Monday, September 22, 2008
Children Learn What They Live
Children Learn What They Live - a revisit
This poem has been around for many years now. As a little girl, I remember it being framed in my bedroom.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
Lets see...what are children learning today, that will prepare them to be the adults of tomorrow?
A Prayer for Today
God....grant me the patience, and tolerance so that I am able to take what goes on in class each passing day. Help me find my sense of humour back, so that I will be able to accept the jokes, and playfulness, and not have to heave sighs of despair...
Make me focused, so that in turn, my kids in class can focus, and give me the wisdom (that does not come with white hair). Please help me learn to smile again...so that I do not come across as grouchy and irritable.
And oh...please help the AVA not detect any melamine in my favourite pack of chocolates...for they help me keep sane.
This poem has been around for many years now. As a little girl, I remember it being framed in my bedroom.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
Lets see...what are children learning today, that will prepare them to be the adults of tomorrow?
A Prayer for Today
God....grant me the patience, and tolerance so that I am able to take what goes on in class each passing day. Help me find my sense of humour back, so that I will be able to accept the jokes, and playfulness, and not have to heave sighs of despair...
Make me focused, so that in turn, my kids in class can focus, and give me the wisdom (that does not come with white hair). Please help me learn to smile again...so that I do not come across as grouchy and irritable.
And oh...please help the AVA not detect any melamine in my favourite pack of chocolates...for they help me keep sane.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
My favourite poem
My favourite Poem
I love poetry...though I seem to have lost the touch that once allowed my pen to dance across the pages to beautiful words. Maybe I'll find my muse and my inspiration again...
But for today, I'll just share this poem, often seen in inspirational posters. Whoever the poet is/was, he or she , is a wise person.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
Anonymous
Times are certainly tough now...and even the world affairs are shaky. We are bracing ourselves for tough times ahead. But if we learn to take what's to come with a positive stance...will be be able to ride it out.
To F...whose life now seems to be filled with endless challenges, hang on ...hang on...I can't offer much but my prayers for your safety...but things happen for a reason...so never lose hope.
To my 'sweeties'...thank you. You have made me feel alive again...and I'll try to help you through as much as I can.
I have found my new kids this year...and they are really special people.
I love poetry...though I seem to have lost the touch that once allowed my pen to dance across the pages to beautiful words. Maybe I'll find my muse and my inspiration again...
But for today, I'll just share this poem, often seen in inspirational posters. Whoever the poet is/was, he or she , is a wise person.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
Anonymous
Times are certainly tough now...and even the world affairs are shaky. We are bracing ourselves for tough times ahead. But if we learn to take what's to come with a positive stance...will be be able to ride it out.
To F...whose life now seems to be filled with endless challenges, hang on ...hang on...I can't offer much but my prayers for your safety...but things happen for a reason...so never lose hope.
To my 'sweeties'...thank you. You have made me feel alive again...and I'll try to help you through as much as I can.
I have found my new kids this year...and they are really special people.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Things You Will Not Learn In School
Things you will not learn in school.
(Exposition -social commentary)
There are many e-mails circulating around that Bill Gates talked about the rules below during a speech at a high school graduation ceremony. However, the real credit goes to Charles Sykes, who wrote the book "Dumbing Down Kids". The writer listed wrote about how parents and the current education system have not prepared today's generation for the harsh realities in real life.
Below are some extracted from the book. My comments are in brackets. Here I will try to make you kids understand, that if you think about it, some parents and teachers to try to teach you how to deal with life's challenges.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! ( Yes, there still exists the concept of justice, but the bottom line is, you will never get what you want all the time. Use your brains, and adopt the right attitude....for unfairness will not get you down.)
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
(Develop resilience, and a healthy sense of self-confidence. Be your own friend first. In a world what results matters, you do have to work hard to prove your worth...and there is no running away from that.)
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both. (My dear kids, the phrase 'money doesn't grow on trees' is true...This is not your virtual world money, and you really will not make much from your Maple Story millions. Instant gratification is not equal to fast cash, easy job, quick promotions.)
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
(Hehehe...your teachers, at the end of the day, care for you. So really understand that when we scold, nag , push, prod and poke...it's for a purpose.)
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. (Hard work and responsibility are not dirty words...You need to experience that blood + sweat + tears = stepping stones to bigger things in life)
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault; so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
(It's again so easy to blame other and everything under the sun. You'll bounce back faster if you face to your challenges, and decide to keep on improving)
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
(Hahahah....enough said)
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
( Well, life is not about losing all the time either...It's up to you to adopt a winner's mindset, and not give up when things don't go your way)
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you "FIND YOURSELF". Do that on your own time.
(Sigh....now do you understand how heavy that word "RESPONSIBILITY" is? You can't keep on saying "Life Sucks"... and job hop when you find work boring...A rolling stone gathers no moss, and FIND YOURSELF NOW!..)
Rule 10: Television and video games are NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
(Wean yourselves from your virtual world...the faster, the better)
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
(hehehehe...what goes around comes around...)
I am going to find the book...I think I will enjoy finding more gems of wisdom.
(Exposition -social commentary)
There are many e-mails circulating around that Bill Gates talked about the rules below during a speech at a high school graduation ceremony. However, the real credit goes to Charles Sykes, who wrote the book "Dumbing Down Kids". The writer listed wrote about how parents and the current education system have not prepared today's generation for the harsh realities in real life.
Below are some extracted from the book. My comments are in brackets. Here I will try to make you kids understand, that if you think about it, some parents and teachers to try to teach you how to deal with life's challenges.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! ( Yes, there still exists the concept of justice, but the bottom line is, you will never get what you want all the time. Use your brains, and adopt the right attitude....for unfairness will not get you down.)
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
(Develop resilience, and a healthy sense of self-confidence. Be your own friend first. In a world what results matters, you do have to work hard to prove your worth...and there is no running away from that.)
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both. (My dear kids, the phrase 'money doesn't grow on trees' is true...This is not your virtual world money, and you really will not make much from your Maple Story millions. Instant gratification is not equal to fast cash, easy job, quick promotions.)
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
(Hehehe...your teachers, at the end of the day, care for you. So really understand that when we scold, nag , push, prod and poke...it's for a purpose.)
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. (Hard work and responsibility are not dirty words...You need to experience that blood + sweat + tears = stepping stones to bigger things in life)
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault; so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
(It's again so easy to blame other and everything under the sun. You'll bounce back faster if you face to your challenges, and decide to keep on improving)
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
(Hahahah....enough said)
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
( Well, life is not about losing all the time either...It's up to you to adopt a winner's mindset, and not give up when things don't go your way)
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you "FIND YOURSELF". Do that on your own time.
(Sigh....now do you understand how heavy that word "RESPONSIBILITY" is? You can't keep on saying "Life Sucks"... and job hop when you find work boring...A rolling stone gathers no moss, and FIND YOURSELF NOW!..)
Rule 10: Television and video games are NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
(Wean yourselves from your virtual world...the faster, the better)
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
(hehehehe...what goes around comes around...)
I am going to find the book...I think I will enjoy finding more gems of wisdom.
Monday, September 8, 2008
10 Principles of Raising Children of Character
Raising Children of Character
(Text-type: Exposition - a personal reflection)
One of the teachers went for a talk by Prof Thomas Lickona recently who focused on how we need to raise children who are deeply anchored in values so that they will be able to remain steady in the face of the uncertainties that the future world holds.
There are 10 principles which he proposed that parents abide by when they bring up their children.
1. Make Character Development a High Priority
We need to talk about it with the children. Often parents fall into the habit of 'scolding' children for doing things that are 'wrong', but fall short of explaining why such actions are wrong.
A child learns in many ways...and young children need very good role models. I think if a parent expects the school to be the place where learning takes place, then many opportunites would be lost.
Communicate with the child...not just instruct, tell, speak, command or yell. Listen and reach out to understand, and be understood.
What are the some good character traits?
a) Wisdom - to be clever and intelligent are not enough. Children' moral compass must be set to know the difference between right from wrong, and later in life, to know how to balance the different virtures when the situation calls for it. A child has to understand and feel, so that his rational thoughts will be tempered by his heart.
b) Justice - we tend to see justice as standing up for what is right and fair. But it is really something deeper than that. Everyone has rights too, so an individual's right may be overwhelmed by the need to respect the rights of all people. It comes together with things like basic courtesy (if you see children treating their maids like 'slaves', I think it is fair to assume they they are emulating their parents), and honesty.
c) Fortitude - are our children resilient ? We need them to have an inner strength to do what's right when it is tough doing so. They will have many moral dilemmas in a world that stives on competition, self-centredness and instant gratification. We have to prepare them to be courageous and persevering in the face of adversitites. Yes, children are precious, but we do not need to molly-coddle them till they become morally-disabled. Let them be tough, let them experience failures and difficults, so that they will be able to overcome on their own, and move on.
d)Self-control - In my line of work, I see more and more kids who struggle with putting their feelings on a tight rein, especially anger. Most are 'self-centred', putting their needs first before others...if they want something, they must get it first. Lessons in self-control wil help them exercise moderation, and deal with that need of instant gratification.
e) Love - it seems strange right? Parents usually love their children so much that they give, give, and keep on giving. But isn't love beyond that? A child must see that love is both giving and receiving. Love can sometimes mean sacrifices, committment to something or someone, and most of all, that love is forgiving. Yes, I think I do have to remind myself too that sometimes, when we love, we have to 'be cruel to be kind.'
Well that's a mouthful for today.
I have got 5 more good character traits to talk about
But to Zafran, Zarifah & Zakwan (plus all my other 'kids')...
I may not be the perfect parent, but I am learning.
I hope you will understand why I do the things I do.
My 'time' is already full of challenges, but thankfully, I have my anchors.
I am helping you develop yours too.
Love,
Mama
(Text-type: Exposition - a personal reflection)
One of the teachers went for a talk by Prof Thomas Lickona recently who focused on how we need to raise children who are deeply anchored in values so that they will be able to remain steady in the face of the uncertainties that the future world holds.
There are 10 principles which he proposed that parents abide by when they bring up their children.
1. Make Character Development a High Priority
We need to talk about it with the children. Often parents fall into the habit of 'scolding' children for doing things that are 'wrong', but fall short of explaining why such actions are wrong.
A child learns in many ways...and young children need very good role models. I think if a parent expects the school to be the place where learning takes place, then many opportunites would be lost.
Communicate with the child...not just instruct, tell, speak, command or yell. Listen and reach out to understand, and be understood.
What are the some good character traits?
a) Wisdom - to be clever and intelligent are not enough. Children' moral compass must be set to know the difference between right from wrong, and later in life, to know how to balance the different virtures when the situation calls for it. A child has to understand and feel, so that his rational thoughts will be tempered by his heart.
b) Justice - we tend to see justice as standing up for what is right and fair. But it is really something deeper than that. Everyone has rights too, so an individual's right may be overwhelmed by the need to respect the rights of all people. It comes together with things like basic courtesy (if you see children treating their maids like 'slaves', I think it is fair to assume they they are emulating their parents), and honesty.
c) Fortitude - are our children resilient ? We need them to have an inner strength to do what's right when it is tough doing so. They will have many moral dilemmas in a world that stives on competition, self-centredness and instant gratification. We have to prepare them to be courageous and persevering in the face of adversitites. Yes, children are precious, but we do not need to molly-coddle them till they become morally-disabled. Let them be tough, let them experience failures and difficults, so that they will be able to overcome on their own, and move on.
d)Self-control - In my line of work, I see more and more kids who struggle with putting their feelings on a tight rein, especially anger. Most are 'self-centred', putting their needs first before others...if they want something, they must get it first. Lessons in self-control wil help them exercise moderation, and deal with that need of instant gratification.
e) Love - it seems strange right? Parents usually love their children so much that they give, give, and keep on giving. But isn't love beyond that? A child must see that love is both giving and receiving. Love can sometimes mean sacrifices, committment to something or someone, and most of all, that love is forgiving. Yes, I think I do have to remind myself too that sometimes, when we love, we have to 'be cruel to be kind.'
Well that's a mouthful for today.
I have got 5 more good character traits to talk about
But to Zafran, Zarifah & Zakwan (plus all my other 'kids')...
I may not be the perfect parent, but I am learning.
I hope you will understand why I do the things I do.
My 'time' is already full of challenges, but thankfully, I have my anchors.
I am helping you develop yours too.
Love,
Mama
Friday, September 5, 2008
An Open Letter
An Open Letter
(for all my kids out there)
My dearest kids of yesterday, today , and of tomorrow,
I want to share this so that you can reflect at whatever point of life you are at.
As we grow, our lives will be governed and shaped by so many things...like responsibilities and obligations. We long for many needs, we have many, many wants,; but we learn that we can never have it all. Life doesn't always go the way that we want to.
But I cannot say it enough that we do have a choice...and that one crucial choice lies in the attitude that we adopt in the face of adversity and hardship. Talent and aptitude are not enough to get through life's challenges.
It is so easy to blame so many things; people or circumstances, but it is up to us to do something about our own lives. Each man will question life...will question God...and find no answers. Your answer to life is by answering how you live your own life...and that means, you take the responsibility of living life to the fullest. What you do today, will affect your tomorrow.
Your attitude matters: - if you decide to be miserable, and whiny...and blame others, your life will be miserable for sure. If you decide to run away from your problems, then you have made the choice to keep on running for the rest of your life. If you decide to develop a positive outlook, and be responsible to ensure it is there...then there is a good chance of you having a fulfilling life.
Sure, there are things like luck, or 'fate'...but you cannot rely on those alone. But at least, no matter what happens, you can still hold your head up, and say, "I have given my best...no regrets."
So go ahead...be your own best friend..and tell yourself...Each day is going to be meaningful for me...Each day, I will accept and face my challenges...Each day, I choose to do what is right for me...Each day, I will appreciate what I have, and learn to bounce back despite the odds.
So, if you survive at the end of each day, put a smile on your face, and whisper a prayer of thanks to God for giving you the chance to live.
To my 4E and 5N kids, all the best for the prelims.
Have faith, be strong...for it is through fire and ice that iron turns to steel.
Do your best.
(for all my kids out there)
My dearest kids of yesterday, today , and of tomorrow,
I want to share this so that you can reflect at whatever point of life you are at.
As we grow, our lives will be governed and shaped by so many things...like responsibilities and obligations. We long for many needs, we have many, many wants,; but we learn that we can never have it all. Life doesn't always go the way that we want to.
But I cannot say it enough that we do have a choice...and that one crucial choice lies in the attitude that we adopt in the face of adversity and hardship. Talent and aptitude are not enough to get through life's challenges.
It is so easy to blame so many things; people or circumstances, but it is up to us to do something about our own lives. Each man will question life...will question God...and find no answers. Your answer to life is by answering how you live your own life...and that means, you take the responsibility of living life to the fullest. What you do today, will affect your tomorrow.
Your attitude matters: - if you decide to be miserable, and whiny...and blame others, your life will be miserable for sure. If you decide to run away from your problems, then you have made the choice to keep on running for the rest of your life. If you decide to develop a positive outlook, and be responsible to ensure it is there...then there is a good chance of you having a fulfilling life.
Sure, there are things like luck, or 'fate'...but you cannot rely on those alone. But at least, no matter what happens, you can still hold your head up, and say, "I have given my best...no regrets."
So go ahead...be your own best friend..and tell yourself...Each day is going to be meaningful for me...Each day, I will accept and face my challenges...Each day, I choose to do what is right for me...Each day, I will appreciate what I have, and learn to bounce back despite the odds.
So, if you survive at the end of each day, put a smile on your face, and whisper a prayer of thanks to God for giving you the chance to live.
To my 4E and 5N kids, all the best for the prelims.
Have faith, be strong...for it is through fire and ice that iron turns to steel.
Do your best.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Break, Break, Break
Break, Break, Break
(what if...what if...)
In class, I always tell the kids that 'what goes around, comes around.' Of course, that is meant for them to reflect on their current actions so that they will not suffer from the consequences of their action.
But what happens when that phrase is put in a different context?
Through the Facebook network, I have been able to get in touch with so many people...my old schoolmates, my college mates and the friends I made in NUS. Then there are my ex-students (my babies especially), who have found me. But then...there was YOU! Why did you find me?
Those of who who remember the earlier posts on Friendster, would remember the time I wrote the stories I wrote as a follow up to Valentine's Day. How three gallant young men, restored the faith and mended the heart of their lonely girl friend. But you never knew what had happened to that girl in the first place...
First love, last love?
I think not...
You will never forget your first love...not matter how much pain you suffer. You will sometimes think about the 'what ifs...' But those are just whimsical thoughts that crosses your mind once in a while...
Time has been a great balm...it has helped to heal.
I have been able to laugh the event off, and know that God really knows what is best.
But why did you have to find me, and apologise?
There is nothing to forgive...really.
What is the intention?
To err is human, to forgive divine.
It is then up to God to forgive...
(what if...what if...)
In class, I always tell the kids that 'what goes around, comes around.' Of course, that is meant for them to reflect on their current actions so that they will not suffer from the consequences of their action.
But what happens when that phrase is put in a different context?
Through the Facebook network, I have been able to get in touch with so many people...my old schoolmates, my college mates and the friends I made in NUS. Then there are my ex-students (my babies especially), who have found me. But then...there was YOU! Why did you find me?
Those of who who remember the earlier posts on Friendster, would remember the time I wrote the stories I wrote as a follow up to Valentine's Day. How three gallant young men, restored the faith and mended the heart of their lonely girl friend. But you never knew what had happened to that girl in the first place...
First love, last love?
I think not...
You will never forget your first love...not matter how much pain you suffer. You will sometimes think about the 'what ifs...' But those are just whimsical thoughts that crosses your mind once in a while...
Time has been a great balm...it has helped to heal.
I have been able to laugh the event off, and know that God really knows what is best.
But why did you have to find me, and apologise?
There is nothing to forgive...really.
What is the intention?
To err is human, to forgive divine.
It is then up to God to forgive...
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