Self-awareness

Yesterday, I had to do a difficult thing.
I did not clear a contract teacher, who is currently on attachment in school, to move on to NIE for the next semester.
I have never done that before.

All these while, I think I have tried to look for the strengths in people, and perhaps, believed that somehow, the flaws can be overlooked. Teaching is definitely not a matter of simply delivering content knowledge. It involves relationships with people...and if you are detached and impersonal, how then would you be able to reach out to others?

I am indeed a dinosaur, holding on to that romantic notion that teaching is a noble profession.  Teaching is more of a 'calling', you are definitely not going to be in it for the money. Yes, it can be a stable job, but hah, you have to put your soul into it...and sometimes, it feels you lose a lot of yourself along the way.

What is happening to the teaching profession lately?
Gen Y & Z...the group of young restless people, who put their needs first before others.
This is the new set of values...for things like loyalty, hard work, compassion and altruism go right to the bottom of the list...

This young individual...claims to want to teach.
But...she does not like people very much, preferring to keep to herself.
Then the question is how is she going to relate to her charges and their parents?

And the worst thing is, I cannot get through the facade...how can you come across as if you don't care?
Educating young people have often meant going down to a level which you sometimes never expect to stoop,  or doing things that you would not dream of doing.

When asked for a reason: - "I do not trust people"
Then is the job choice a right one?
I don't know...this is a job which you sometimes have to feel as though you are a sitting duck for many unexpected things.
You get hurt, angry, upset, insulted...but you will learn to laugh, and grow, especially with the children.

I hope she understands why I am being cruel to be kind.
She is not ready, and needs to find herself first.

But that also leaves me with a big question for self-reflection
What happens when I lose my own heart for teaching?
Leave Dee....leave.