Teachers' Day...came and went.
I am grateful for the many well-wishes (in person and in kind) that I received. I am grateful that many of my ex-students remembered me. I am proud of how much they have moved on in life.
Ironically, it also made me ponder if I am really worthy of their thanks and gratitude.
For if I believe them...then, somehow in my mind, I have failed...I failed as a mother.
Arwah Din left us, a year ago, on the eve of Teachers' Day. While I was away, at dinner, the news arrived of his sudden tragic demise. I did not get back home in time, to be with my own children...especially Iffah who needed me badly. I made a series of bad decisions to 'shield' her from getting her closure...and asking her to be stoic and 'redha'. That led to ... this current reality.
I know this year, I have been wrought with so many uncertainties about my position, and my profession. My priorities, my responsibilities...a dilemma.
But then, came a silver lining...a message sent by one of my special children...who brought some cleansing tears...tears that soothed my troubled spirit. Below is what he wrote, taken from my FB account.
"Happy Teacher's day mdm adibah.
My love for culture , language and art literacy would not have started without your love and devotion with your students. How each lesson was devised, thought out and planned for the best interest of each student. you have educated me about the early stages in art appreciation, whether its drama or literature, it has shaped me in a way that has made me more empathetic to the new world at an early stage. It has made me understand people better, see the world clearer and being more attentive to people's needs.
It has lead me to be someone of better value, and taught me to appreciate the world we live in. Art has a funny way of trying to make sense of the world that is deemed insensible. Literature has a funny way of being infused into life. And life is just one big drama...
.. But in one chapter within this book, lies several pages of a once lived past. Where its constantly being referred to even to this day. A chapter where life back then, does not make sense, but in its negligence, innocent past lies a reminder, or bookmark thats denotes important events which inspires how the subsequent chapters will unfold...
.. within these few pages, dog-eared and underlined, lies a very special person who has inspired this journey sofar..
... your name has been repeated within these pages, and your actions and words has been highlighted. What you have taught echoes thru my actions.
.. in all my achievements, you played an important role. and hopefully one day, i will be someone who will inspire others.
thanks ...
Arif...I think you are already on your way to inspire others.
I only played a small role in your life, but Alhamdulillah, it has been meaningful.
Your words, warmed my heart, and put my soul at peace...at least for now.
Thank you...thank you...thank you
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