We live in a world of paradoxes...simple because we are humans. The root of the matter lies in fact that Man has both the heart and head to contend with (if we want to put things simply). While the rest of the body obeys the brain primarily, we trip up because of the voice of our natural feelings that may run counter to the workings of the brain.
As I try to learn more about the laws of attraction, I know many who will scoff at the idea of such 'hocus-pocus'. Why? Because there is very little empircal truth...because it sometimes do not make sense. How can you attract something just by thinking about it? But hey, the experts have explained that the discovery of Quatum Physics has been vital in discovering the possibilities that the Laws of Attraction can unfold.
I don't want to explain...I just want to think and do.
Lets invite all the good things...what is the end goals that we want (the positives)
Put the power of visioning, and positive visualisation to work...cos if you can think of the goals, you will work faster and better to achieve your goals (please note: I did say, 'work'...) Thought cannot be mere dreams without actions.
It also has the opposite effect...that if we think of negative thoughts...we will likely make them come true. (Hahaha...there is a story behind the broken foot you know)...
I begin to wonder...all these years, I have tried to make sense of the auras and vibes...the 'signals' that my internal radar pick up. Had I 'intentionally' sought them out? Had my intuition unconsciously wanted to find my special children...?If that is how the law of attraction works, then...it makes sense that I need them as much as they need me...
Hahaha....I am going to chant each day.
"Bring me the As...Bring me the As....Bring me the As"
Hey...you'll never know....
But...it will always be:"Give me a special child...who will bloom eventually."
Ameen
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
A Missed Step
I fell...48 days ago.
Call it a misstep or a missed step...it's definitely seemed like a mishap (considering that I still am yet to be able to walk again)
I am not going to do anything philosophical about this...just going to write a recount.
So that is just going to be a simple record so that I will be able to remember and laugh about this in future.
I had a root canal operation done that morning. Dr Poh had 'happily' given me 8 jabs...cos somehow, he had to remove parts of the jawbone...and the usual dosage of anesthetic was not enough to numb my senses. I supposed that 2 hour mini op was ok...but I guess, I did not quite hear what he had warned me about the possible side effects.
Iffah had wanted to eat bruschetta for lunch, and I promised to cook for her. So off I went to Tampines,(albeit a little dazed), and did my usual grocery shopping. I had received a call from dad who wanted to pick me up, so I waited at the curb. In the daze and excitment, I missed my footing, and tumbled.
I can't remember much:- all I knew was someone asked if I was ok...and I mumbled something about being afraid that my cans were rolling away. I knew that mum and Akmal came to me, and I was still more interested in picking up my groceries. It was when I could no longer fit into my sandal that I saw the ankle 'elephanting'...er swelling up that the pain hit me.
Now...I react strangely to fear and pain. I laugh in times like these....and so, in the car, as I was trying to keep my sanity because of the pain, I started giggling. By the time I reached Changi General Hospital, I was a mess. The ankle had ballooned, and the attendant was trying to figure out if I had been sent to the right hospital.
I hate hospitals...but it was a strange experience being there, because a few days earlier, I was at the hospital since Zafran was sent there from Tekong(...and that folks, is a different story altogether). So I was aware of the loooooooooooooooong wait...but a fractured ankle, is no joke. Part of me, wanted so badly to curse and swear...for I finally understood why some people resort to that....as an outlet.
I remember being wheeled in and out of places...and wanting so badly to go to the toilet...I think of those times as 'hellish'.....but finally, after trying to get me to place my foot on the ground, the doc at the A&E decided to make me wear a 'backslab'
A backslab is a half-cast...and so you can imagine how whacked out my centre of gravity became.
Stairs....became my greatest enemy. I got a pair of crutches, but came so dangerously close to breaking many other bones in the process, that I resorted to using a walker. While the 2 weeks 'hospitalisation leave' seems like a welcoming respite, let me tell you that is effectively a jail term. I was confined to the bed most of the time, and even simple things like bathing can become a chore....and when you have a weak bladder, hopping to the toilet made me wish sometimes that I could use a bedpan instead.
The backslab gave way to a fibreglass bright pink cast...and this was when the real torture began. If you fracture your ankle, it means that the ligaments and tendons would have been pulled or strained too. If circulation is poor, the ankle will swell, and the cast gets tight and uncomfortable. Trying to ease the itch is also a torture...until I found a solution - to use a very long chopstick to scratch at unreachable places.
My moods...became bad...I was grumpy, uncomfortable, and the frustration grew daily. I have not been much of a TV person, and somehow, I lost my appetite for reading. Sitting in bed for long hours is actually quite horrible..you develop aches everywhere. But I must say that I became a little bit more understanding of why certain bedridden elderly become so snappy. I am grateful that I still had full use of my other faculties.
I became an expert at hopping, and moving up and down with the stairs on my behind. My right leg had developed muscles I never thought possible; and while I was afraid that my right knee would give way, it so far gave me problems at night....The sleep has still got to be induced by valium and other pain killers.
Anyway, the days dragged by, and I counted them by looking forward to Zafran's return from camp.
Then came the day for the pink cast to come off: I had happily thought that I could walk again. Now, the cutting of the cast was another whole experience. I had freaked out for several nights, because I dreamt that the nurse would accidently saw my foot. So when I went in, I was frightened...Yup...and when I am scared...I would laugh too.
So there again, a hysterical mess...until the attendant was rather nervous. I had laughed so much that I think he would indeed have done a bad job....but that laughter was not enough to help me walk again. The news was that, I would next have to be in a splint.
A splint is another moulded plastic that they made me wear (so that I would not walk). It is so horrible, being told to keep the foot off...Anyway, when the cast came off, I did get to see the sprained foot in its majestic glory of black, blue and green bruises. I knew that there was no way that the leg would have recovered.
Last year, I missed my holidays because of school work....so my heart sank at the realisation of another holiday break down the drain. It was back to the bed. But I decided to do something...I borrowed the wheelchair from the school...so that I could at least go around if there were people who were willing to push me around. So thanks to my sis, I did get to go out to IKEA, airport, and made a short trip to Bukit Indah in JB. Small blessings indeed.
At one point, I got very bored of my house arrest. The poor kids too suffered since they did not get to go out much, and really missed out on many wonderful movies that we had wanted to watch. I decided to take stock of the situation by wanting to go to a specialist to buy special boots that would help me in the rehabilitation process. God is great. My hubby managed to get the aircast boots which was given to him by a cousin who previously fractured an ankle too.
So what is left now?
The swelling has gone down (and thanks to QR for recommending me TCM) and the foot is able to rest on the ground. However, each time I tried to put weight on it, there will be shooting pains...which means that the ligaments have not recovered. I have forced myself to go to school...something which takes the boredom away; though I am still very hampered in many ways.
What are the learning points?
Plenty.
One is to be grateful that I can still use the other parts of my body.
I have a supportive family who gave me lots of encouragement and comfort
I have been able to catch up with my quranic readings.
I supposed I am on the road to recovery. It will be slow. I have to accept that. But Allah has given me so many blessings from the accident.
I hope that I will still remain patient. Insyallah, I will walk normally again ...soon
Call it a misstep or a missed step...it's definitely seemed like a mishap (considering that I still am yet to be able to walk again)
I am not going to do anything philosophical about this...just going to write a recount.
So that is just going to be a simple record so that I will be able to remember and laugh about this in future.
I had a root canal operation done that morning. Dr Poh had 'happily' given me 8 jabs...cos somehow, he had to remove parts of the jawbone...and the usual dosage of anesthetic was not enough to numb my senses. I supposed that 2 hour mini op was ok...but I guess, I did not quite hear what he had warned me about the possible side effects.
Iffah had wanted to eat bruschetta for lunch, and I promised to cook for her. So off I went to Tampines,(albeit a little dazed), and did my usual grocery shopping. I had received a call from dad who wanted to pick me up, so I waited at the curb. In the daze and excitment, I missed my footing, and tumbled.
I can't remember much:- all I knew was someone asked if I was ok...and I mumbled something about being afraid that my cans were rolling away. I knew that mum and Akmal came to me, and I was still more interested in picking up my groceries. It was when I could no longer fit into my sandal that I saw the ankle 'elephanting'...er swelling up that the pain hit me.
Now...I react strangely to fear and pain. I laugh in times like these....and so, in the car, as I was trying to keep my sanity because of the pain, I started giggling. By the time I reached Changi General Hospital, I was a mess. The ankle had ballooned, and the attendant was trying to figure out if I had been sent to the right hospital.
I hate hospitals...but it was a strange experience being there, because a few days earlier, I was at the hospital since Zafran was sent there from Tekong(...and that folks, is a different story altogether). So I was aware of the loooooooooooooooong wait...but a fractured ankle, is no joke. Part of me, wanted so badly to curse and swear...for I finally understood why some people resort to that....as an outlet.
I remember being wheeled in and out of places...and wanting so badly to go to the toilet...I think of those times as 'hellish'.....but finally, after trying to get me to place my foot on the ground, the doc at the A&E decided to make me wear a 'backslab'
A backslab is a half-cast...and so you can imagine how whacked out my centre of gravity became.
Stairs....became my greatest enemy. I got a pair of crutches, but came so dangerously close to breaking many other bones in the process, that I resorted to using a walker. While the 2 weeks 'hospitalisation leave' seems like a welcoming respite, let me tell you that is effectively a jail term. I was confined to the bed most of the time, and even simple things like bathing can become a chore....and when you have a weak bladder, hopping to the toilet made me wish sometimes that I could use a bedpan instead.
The backslab gave way to a fibreglass bright pink cast...and this was when the real torture began. If you fracture your ankle, it means that the ligaments and tendons would have been pulled or strained too. If circulation is poor, the ankle will swell, and the cast gets tight and uncomfortable. Trying to ease the itch is also a torture...until I found a solution - to use a very long chopstick to scratch at unreachable places.
My moods...became bad...I was grumpy, uncomfortable, and the frustration grew daily. I have not been much of a TV person, and somehow, I lost my appetite for reading. Sitting in bed for long hours is actually quite horrible..you develop aches everywhere. But I must say that I became a little bit more understanding of why certain bedridden elderly become so snappy. I am grateful that I still had full use of my other faculties.
I became an expert at hopping, and moving up and down with the stairs on my behind. My right leg had developed muscles I never thought possible; and while I was afraid that my right knee would give way, it so far gave me problems at night....The sleep has still got to be induced by valium and other pain killers.
Anyway, the days dragged by, and I counted them by looking forward to Zafran's return from camp.
Then came the day for the pink cast to come off: I had happily thought that I could walk again. Now, the cutting of the cast was another whole experience. I had freaked out for several nights, because I dreamt that the nurse would accidently saw my foot. So when I went in, I was frightened...Yup...and when I am scared...I would laugh too.
So there again, a hysterical mess...until the attendant was rather nervous. I had laughed so much that I think he would indeed have done a bad job....but that laughter was not enough to help me walk again. The news was that, I would next have to be in a splint.
A splint is another moulded plastic that they made me wear (so that I would not walk). It is so horrible, being told to keep the foot off...Anyway, when the cast came off, I did get to see the sprained foot in its majestic glory of black, blue and green bruises. I knew that there was no way that the leg would have recovered.
Last year, I missed my holidays because of school work....so my heart sank at the realisation of another holiday break down the drain. It was back to the bed. But I decided to do something...I borrowed the wheelchair from the school...so that I could at least go around if there were people who were willing to push me around. So thanks to my sis, I did get to go out to IKEA, airport, and made a short trip to Bukit Indah in JB. Small blessings indeed.
At one point, I got very bored of my house arrest. The poor kids too suffered since they did not get to go out much, and really missed out on many wonderful movies that we had wanted to watch. I decided to take stock of the situation by wanting to go to a specialist to buy special boots that would help me in the rehabilitation process. God is great. My hubby managed to get the aircast boots which was given to him by a cousin who previously fractured an ankle too.
So what is left now?
The swelling has gone down (and thanks to QR for recommending me TCM) and the foot is able to rest on the ground. However, each time I tried to put weight on it, there will be shooting pains...which means that the ligaments have not recovered. I have forced myself to go to school...something which takes the boredom away; though I am still very hampered in many ways.
What are the learning points?
Plenty.
One is to be grateful that I can still use the other parts of my body.
I have a supportive family who gave me lots of encouragement and comfort
I have been able to catch up with my quranic readings.
I supposed I am on the road to recovery. It will be slow. I have to accept that. But Allah has given me so many blessings from the accident.
I hope that I will still remain patient. Insyallah, I will walk normally again ...soon
Friday, June 24, 2011
The Laws of Attraction
In our journey of helping Zarifah find strength and resilience to overcome her current condition, we tried many things....the doctors, the medication, the alternative therapies...and the most recent one is the use of 'visioning'.
Now, I too have been on my own journey to fit the many puzzles that life has unfolded before me. There are times when it feels as if I have bits and pieces of the billions pieces that should make a cohesive whole - but they don't fit...yet...at times when I think they should...They will eventually...but I am continuing, for I have 'seen' where those parts belong...and how they would look someday.
Well, back to this "Laws of Attraction'...which is supposed to be an age-old 'open secret'
Now, this is is a kind of metaphysical law - "Like attracts like"
Of course I am not talking about magnets here..(cos I vaguely remember being taught that like poles repel, unlike poles attract)
It is the idea that our thoughts can be pretty powerful...and that if we are able to think positively, then we are likely to attract all things good...and vice-versa.
Of course, it is easy to be skeptical about this...since it is little scientific evidence to back it up.
But belief...is a very powerful tool.
(Haven't we seen what negative reinforcement can do to people?)
So why not?
Stay grounded...and invite...
All the good things you want
And move along...with faith.
Alhamdulillah.
It's going to be a good day.
Thank you for the blessings...and strength.
Amin
Now, I too have been on my own journey to fit the many puzzles that life has unfolded before me. There are times when it feels as if I have bits and pieces of the billions pieces that should make a cohesive whole - but they don't fit...yet...at times when I think they should...They will eventually...but I am continuing, for I have 'seen' where those parts belong...and how they would look someday.
Well, back to this "Laws of Attraction'...which is supposed to be an age-old 'open secret'
Now, this is is a kind of metaphysical law - "Like attracts like"
Of course I am not talking about magnets here..(cos I vaguely remember being taught that like poles repel, unlike poles attract)
It is the idea that our thoughts can be pretty powerful...and that if we are able to think positively, then we are likely to attract all things good...and vice-versa.
Of course, it is easy to be skeptical about this...since it is little scientific evidence to back it up.
But belief...is a very powerful tool.
(Haven't we seen what negative reinforcement can do to people?)
So why not?
Stay grounded...and invite...
All the good things you want
And move along...with faith.
Alhamdulillah.
It's going to be a good day.
Thank you for the blessings...and strength.
Amin
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Mind over Body
Today's workshop in school was entitled"Teambuilding"...but it was like no other.
There were no powerpoint slides, no lectures, no trainers in powersuits.
Here was a guy who wanted us to break us out of the box...go against all conventions...literally telling us that we need to be 'reconditioned'. There were many powerful messages that he was telling us, and how we needed to change....and that change had to begin with us.
He showed us what the mind can do...especially when it is motivated and supported. We got one of the teachers to think of her greatest motivating factor...her daughter. Then a group of us got down as she concentrated on her love for her daughter. Someone became a coach...who kept on talking to her, how to focus, about how strong she was, about how she is the best mother in the world. A few ladies affirmed these words by gently tapping her. All that were done intensively within three minutes...
Guess what?
Her body got so geared up that we were able to place her between 2 chairs straight (reverse planking) without any support. It was....astounding!
The bottom line is this...if we keep on believing in the positive, and focusing on things that we want, and is constantly being assured that we are capable of doing it, ...it simply can be done!
It takes about 6 months for a change to occur...
Lets see...if we change the tune
Are you ready for success? Yea!
Oi Changkat! Oi Changkat!....Changkat Oi! changkat Oi!....
Lets try....
I'll do it...!
There were no powerpoint slides, no lectures, no trainers in powersuits.
Here was a guy who wanted us to break us out of the box...go against all conventions...literally telling us that we need to be 'reconditioned'. There were many powerful messages that he was telling us, and how we needed to change....and that change had to begin with us.
He showed us what the mind can do...especially when it is motivated and supported. We got one of the teachers to think of her greatest motivating factor...her daughter. Then a group of us got down as she concentrated on her love for her daughter. Someone became a coach...who kept on talking to her, how to focus, about how strong she was, about how she is the best mother in the world. A few ladies affirmed these words by gently tapping her. All that were done intensively within three minutes...
Guess what?
Her body got so geared up that we were able to place her between 2 chairs straight (reverse planking) without any support. It was....astounding!
The bottom line is this...if we keep on believing in the positive, and focusing on things that we want, and is constantly being assured that we are capable of doing it, ...it simply can be done!
It takes about 6 months for a change to occur...
Lets see...if we change the tune
Are you ready for success? Yea!
Oi Changkat! Oi Changkat!....Changkat Oi! changkat Oi!....
Lets try....
I'll do it...!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Chalk it up to Experience
One of the best advice I had came from Dr Seuss...the man who wrote "Cat in the Hat"...
He said,
"Don't cry because it is over...Smile because it happened."
Of course, when for someone who has had something bad happened to them, this may sound like the worst possible saying. At the point when we are hurting, or grieving or a loss, we deserve to cry to our heart's content...life owes us that...
But that is for that moment...to let our negative feelings out...so that they will all be released.
Then, we step back...and reflect.
Be grateful that we are alive...and by being alive, we move on
We pick up the broken pieces, and try to mend the wounds
We allow ourselves to heal.
It is not funny to suffer a fractured ankle.
I have not laughed at it yet, but at least I can smile....
I smile...thinking about how I wanted to curse and swear out aloud because of the pain.
I smile because I was fortunate to be rushed immediately to the hospital.
I smile because I had a bright pink cast
I smile because I am so clumsy with my crutches
I smile because...it happened...and made me a better person.
and I will try to find as many things as I can...to smile about.
He said,
"Don't cry because it is over...Smile because it happened."
Of course, when for someone who has had something bad happened to them, this may sound like the worst possible saying. At the point when we are hurting, or grieving or a loss, we deserve to cry to our heart's content...life owes us that...
But that is for that moment...to let our negative feelings out...so that they will all be released.
Then, we step back...and reflect.
Be grateful that we are alive...and by being alive, we move on
We pick up the broken pieces, and try to mend the wounds
We allow ourselves to heal.
It is not funny to suffer a fractured ankle.
I have not laughed at it yet, but at least I can smile....
I smile...thinking about how I wanted to curse and swear out aloud because of the pain.
I smile because I was fortunate to be rushed immediately to the hospital.
I smile because I had a bright pink cast
I smile because I am so clumsy with my crutches
I smile because...it happened...and made me a better person.
and I will try to find as many things as I can...to smile about.
Monday, June 20, 2011
"An Attitude for Gratitude"
I am going back to writing...maybe not as often...but constant.
There is so much to catch up with...in the months that I did not write.
So today's entry will start on a positive note:
Here are the things that I am grateful for
a) My parents who have always been there for me
b) I got the time to stay home to recuperate
c) Zaf's doing well in NS
d) I got lots and lots of Coach bags (hahahahaha)
e) all the blessings that I am aware (and unaware of) that Allah has given me.
I will now focus:
a) to get well and walk as soon as I can
b) deepen my faith and strengthen my religious obligations
c) helping my students ace their exams.
I will smile each day, and say a prayer of thanks.
Syukur Alhamdulillah.
There is so much to catch up with...in the months that I did not write.
So today's entry will start on a positive note:
Here are the things that I am grateful for
a) My parents who have always been there for me
b) I got the time to stay home to recuperate
c) Zaf's doing well in NS
d) I got lots and lots of Coach bags (hahahahaha)
e) all the blessings that I am aware (and unaware of) that Allah has given me.
I will now focus:
a) to get well and walk as soon as I can
b) deepen my faith and strengthen my religious obligations
c) helping my students ace their exams.
I will smile each day, and say a prayer of thanks.
Syukur Alhamdulillah.
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