Are you a Stayer?

Years ago, there was a great debate on the loyalty of Singaporeans who left the country in seek of greener pastures. Many felt that those who left had no sense wanting to give back to the nation, that in a way, they were the selfish ones who only sought for their own wants.

I will not even venture into that area, though I can see the similarities with the situation that is happening in schools. There are more than 50 new faces around...many of whom with 3 years or less in service. Many more are expected to join them.

I have been rooted to the school for about 20 years now...
I spent a fair portion of my life there. I have set my roots there, and I love the place...
I love the people...at least those whom I have worked with for many years...but then, the number grows smaller, and smaller as time goes on.

Many of my dear friends have left.
Many of them, with big, kind hearts and a real love for the job. Their departure often left big gaping voids which sometimes can never be replaced.

Why did they leave?
Why do the younger ones no longer want to stay long?

It is not a matter of loyalty anymore.
It is, I feel, also not an issue of being selfish.
It has reached a sad, sad point.

You know...passion can be killed quite easily. Even the hardiest candle can be snuffed out, if it is constantly being blown against the wind.

So when M said that she has had enough, my heart felt the pain again,
I would have loved to open my mouth, to persuade, to coax, to cajole...for her to stay. But how can I , when deep down, I feel that I should do the same...

I have made a choice...I promised...
But that promise to keep is so heavy.
I do not want to stay simply because I have to...I stay because...I don't know, I struggle to find reasons to convince even myself.

Should you decide to go...I understand.
Maybe...one day, when I am released from my hold, I'll fly away too.

I know know why...the caged bird doesn't sing.