Voices

I hear you in my head;
A friend, a foe...
It depends on what you want to say.

It is not what you say, but how you say the things you do,
...that stops me in my tracks
...that goads me to doing things I detest
...that pushes me when I feel blue
...that fills me with shame

I wonder why, I hear you.
When no one else does.
Yet you are loud and clear...
commanding,
pleading,
chiding,
coaxing,
belittling
reasoning
guiding...

Who are you? What are you?
I search for a direction
and can only find echoes bouncing off; here, there, everywhere.
You are there...
When I need you, and when I don't...

I listen to what you say
but gets lost by what I hear...
A million confusing words
defying logic, making sense only when I allow myself to feel.

I hear you in my head...
Friend, foe
I don't really know....