Teach...

A Teacher's Prayer - James J.Metcalf

"I want to teach my students how
   To live this life on Earth.
 To face it's struggles and it's strife
   And to improve their worth...
 And if I help the world to grow
   In wisdom and in grace,
 Then I shall feel that I have won
   And I have filled my place.

 And so I ask your guidance, God,
   That I may do my part.
 For character and confidence
   And happiness of heart."

For the past few years, each teacher's day celebration has left me with a lot of mixed feelings.  There is of course gratification, and joy, mixed with a tinge of ...sadness. I can't really pinpoint why for the latter, why the dull ache resides deep within.

Maybe it is the realisation of how much time ... is left...
How much impact one makes...
That one day...I will leave all this.

But I will focus on the positive...
and look into the bright, happy faces of the younger teachers
who are carrying on...with the torch held high.

Teach...with your heart and your mind
Knowledge should be imparted; tempered by wisdom.
Teach...and you will have your life touched forever.

To all the dedicated people out there who have chosen this path
Happy Teachers Day.

"Your Actions Speak So Loudly..."

I love this phrase this I want to borrow from Maxwell's book, "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect".  In it there is a sub-heading " Your Actions Speak So Loudly, I Can't Hear Your Words".  Doesn't this hit the nail on the head?

In one of my earlier entries, I think I have talked about how sometimes we do not need words to convey our thoughts and emotions.  The looks on our faces, our reactions, gestures and mannerisms are somehow able to mirror what is going through our hearts and heads.  Unless we have schooled ourselves to be good actors, or have learned to put on masks and adopt poker faces, generally, our body can be the true giveaways.

People can say plenty of things.  We all know that there some who can come up with all sorts of rhetoric.  But while people can hear what we say, they can also feel our attitude...The power of non-verbal cues are also so strong that even without words, the more sensitive and perceptive ones can pick up the silence nuances and hidden messages.  Somehow, our body does not lie, even though we can, with our mouths.  That is the general principal of how the lie detector test works.

So what is the whole point today?
Perhaps it is a reminder to myself, to be careful not to send 'mixed signals' to whoever I am speaking to.  Very often, there is where the source of misunderstanding comes from.  I have people telling me that I should not 'read too much' into certain things that are written and said...but you cannot help but be judged from the way people perceive you.

I know that many of my students will not remember exactly what I have blabbed on in class...even fewer still may remember the techniques.  But I sure hope that they will remember the day when a connection is made...from me to them, and them to me...when what I said really meant something, when they understood...and that I had been sincere with them in the encounter.

..and to AB...if you read this:
I can read and 'hear' your message loud.
But clearly?...I doubt so.
Sometimes we keep repeating certain things...as if to convince others,
when in fact, what we do, is really to convince our own self.
Do what you must...do what you already think is right.
But just be prepared...for one day
The dam will burst....Take care.

Storm Brewing in a Teacup

The other shoe has dropped.
By the look and sound of it...it feels more like boots have have been thrown ...

Slowly...one by one...the news have come come in.
We are losing our anchors...but I hope not our bearings.

What is happening...or what has happened?
Yes, we did expect changes, but to this extent?

So much for a shared vision....who is leading?
Who is following?

It is just a matter of time.
Old is gold...I hope they remember that.
Do not take things for granted...do not assume that that things will be easy.

Lets bite the bullet.
It's going to be painful...
To the wounded...and the survivors
we lost this battle...
will we lose the war?

I am battle-scarred...and crippled at the moment.
I hope someone wil come to the forefront,
Lead, and not just wave the white flag.

Reality?

I had an 'interesting' morning.
I have just spoken to a parent whose child is underperforming.
This is a child who tends to shoot off remarks without thinking, and does not make a conscious effort to listen.  While the class is slowly improving, this one is regressing.  So I made the call to the parent.

Imagine my shock when I got this response.
a) Why have I taken so long to call the parent?
b) Why did I 'kill' the child's spirit?
c)  How come I did not try to understand the child?

Maybe I have been living in my 'ivory tower' for far too long.  Maybe I am jaded.  Maybe I have reached the point when I have become critical and boring.  Maybe I have stopped caring.

I had informed the parent that I had spoken to the child personally.  In my view, he needed the wake-up call.  If the child did not stop to reason, and listen...then all will be jeopardised.  Unfortunately, the other side of the coin is this."Why has the child stopped listening suddenly?  My child works for the teacher.  If my child likes the teacher, ....can perform. If you want to help, then accept the child's nonsense."

I do not want to be critical of the child...the one who has already formed a mindset that "I will indeed fail because of my teacher."  That is already the ready excuse.  And if the child fails, then, the parent is ever-ready too, to point fingers at me.

Maybe....maybe they are right.
Maybe I took the wrong approach; not to try to win over the difficult child.
Maybe I failed in my role as an educator; so much for me being a person who took pride in 'every child matters'.

But then...what about self-awareness and self-responsibility?
I had come down hard, because I know that no matter what, the skills I think, will be the skills for life.
Think...think...think...do not be so quick to reply. Substantiate your ideas. Plan your work. Check your work.  It is because...?
If one does not realise how much one's actions will affect others, then I feel sorry for that individual.

Thank you for the feedback.
I will make sure you do not fail!

Reason with feelings, and Feel with reasoning...

I read to keep sane.
This is not an excuse as to why I am still so hooked into books when I should be concentrating more on preparing the kids for exams, marking, or even, at a personal level, doing a lot more good deeds during this fasting month.

But with books, I am able to keep focus a lot more; not just to escape into a fantasy world whatsoever; since my diet of books lately fall under 'self-help, inspirational and philosophy'...(which actually reflects a lot about my state of mind currently.)  Anyway, the books that I can't seem to put down now are the writings of AC Grayling.  Nope, I am not using them for GP...but for those of you who are preparing for your A levels, maybe you should get your own copies.  JC teachers love to use his work for GP comprehension.

Well, the thing about him is that while he writes about topics which are wide and deep (hence GP), his style reflects one who is sharp.  He broaches the topics in a straightforward manner, and his arguments clear and valid. Plus he also gives his own personal insights; taking care to simply claim that he 'teaches and learn philosophy, not a philosopher."

One very pertinent question he asked was, "Do emotions interfere with rationality?"
I know that some people will argue with me till the cows come home on this one...especially those who are schooled to take a good look at this matter based on facts or evidence. Even the esteemed Greek thinkers have viewed emotions as something negative; even though the emotions themselves may be positive - take happiness for instance.  Perhaps that is why, for a long time, the idea of keeping a stiff upper lip and being detached or dispassionate seem to be the way of attaining wisdom or sagacity.  Emotions are seen are something that one needs to be kept under control, and that if you manage to master them, you will have a peace of mind.

I echo Grayling's point that you cannot have one without the other. Just as how the feelings affect the physical state of mind and body, it works the other way round too.  The mind and the heart (and soul) are of equal importance.  They need each other, and when they work in synergy, there is where one gains some kind of wisdom. Your IQ, EQ & AQ are reliant on these 'win-win' relationships.

It is ok then to think through carefully...but not to be detached and unfeeling; and it is ok too, to feel , but within the constraints of what the mind thinks as logical and sound.
A life worth living, is very much, when reason and feeling, are tempered by each other.
So do what is right, and what you feel is right too.

Reality Check - not a killer of dreams.

I am doing a reality check. Maybe it is more for myself, rather than anyone else.

I know that one of the things I have to do in school is to get the kids believing in themselves...you know, encouraging them to find their wings and fly.  The last thing I want to do is be a killer of dreams.  Yet lately I wonder if I have been doing the right thing.  What do you do, when some of the things they want to achieve is almost next to impossible?

Are dreams mere illusions and fantasies ?
Or are they hopes and desires which, if channelled correctly, will set one on a journey to find one's goals?
How do we balance the need to keep believing that dreams can come true, and yet, be pragmatic enough to accept that sometimes, some things are really beyond us; especially if our ability and aptitude is not there?

I have seen enough of those who worked all their way up the academic ladder , albeit the long, tough route - But as I watch a child still struggling  to read at 16...who am I to stop him from dreaming big of ending up with a degree one day?  Or what about the child, who is not able to make the cut to enter one of the better institutions of higher learning, coming to ask for a testimonial, so that he can try to appeal for a chance?  Deep down, I have had my doubts....but no, aiming high is not the issue at hand. While apptitude and ability are crucial determinants, I realise, I should never underestimate the power of a dream :- one that is focused and driven by effort.

However, believing in a dream alone is never enough; neither is that overwhelming desire to achieve it.  Dreams cannot rely on luck; though fate does sometimes have a strange way of either helping you or thwarting the effort you have put in.  You must be able to match that with other things...that are sound in reason, and physically, can be done.

Emerson once said, "Shallow men believe in luck...strong men believe in cause and effect".  This is not however a simple equation of" dreams + hard work = success" kind of thingy...it is just that we cannot leave things to chance.  You see...the bottom line is, we try to pursue dreams...that we do have some ability to make come true.

I love this piece of work from John Maxwell's book "Put your Dream to the Test".  In it he says this of dreams:
"The journey will take longer than you hoped.
The obstacles will be more numerous than you believed.
The disappointments will be greater than you expected.
The lows will be highter than you imagined
The price will be higher than you anticipated.."

In retrospect, I suddenly see the 'common thread (haha...trait)' that runs in the hearts of all my special kids...The cynic, the realist, the dreamer, the pragmatic, the wise, the firebrand, the wander-struck, (and yes, the opportunist)...all harbour dreams of their own.  But they are so different in the way they approach their dreams...for some of these dreams...seem to die along the way. ... and I do hope that they are not 'killed' because they no longer believe that is what they want to achieve.

Me?
I think I have reached a stage where I am more than grateful for what I have.
My dreams live in my own children...and the many kids I have....so that they will get keep on moving ahead...and live their dreams.

Hold fast to your dreams kids....


Well...today's entry is indeed very random.

Dear God,
I am not sure why I am thinking of my special kids today
Especially the one with the 'broken wing'...
But do bless them all
and keep my own safe and strong in Your Care.
Ameen

Choice - it is really up to you

Years ago, as a girl in school,  I never really thought I would end up in teaching...there were so many options that I thought of, like journalism, or even broadcasting...teaching was one of the things I sort of 'flowed into' given my background.  It was something I could fall back on.

But as cliched as it is, life's course can never be determined by us, humans, alone.  There is a greater  power at hand, and we find ourselves either thwarted from the paths we intend to take, or that circumstances deviate us from our original course.  Of course now that I am at a much older age, I can see how the pieces fall together, or how things are tied to the bigger picture of our destiny.,,,yes, things happen for a reason, and very often, we can never fully understand that reason until much later...or never at all.

While our fate is not completely ours to chart and control, all is not lost....until one decides to take a defeatist attitude towards it.  I know...cos while it is extremely frustrating when things do not go your way, it gets even tougher when you wonder with a 'why me?' attitude when things go awry.

I somehow thank God for my experience in having dealt with young people these past years.  It has now helped me, in many ways, in my own painful experience in helping my girl deal with her conditions.  I hope that as we go through this challenging time together, what I have learnt will slowly get her back on her feet.

Self-doubt and other forms of insecurities are powerful sources of negativity.  It gets to the heart , mind and soul of a person...and sometimes, I cannot help but get sucked into the force field.  I am not complaining...but to pull another person out of the doldrums take up a lot of energy and effort...a lot of self-control and good sense...Like her, there are days when it really seems that giving up is the easiest way out.

How do you answer questions...when you yourself do not have answers?
How do you control emotions of pain, hurt and anger...when you yourself get to the point of letting go?
How do you stay calm and give support...when you feel so alone?

I have seen the power of negativity...
To some people, it is the shield that protects....protects from hope, happiness and love.
Those who have been hurt before are not likely to trust easily...and prefer to dwell in either misery or hate...so that nothing can seemingly touch them.
It is much easier to hate, than to love....
It is seemingly better to wallow in self-pity, than rise up in search of 'true happiness'.

I am at the crossroads...and I have chosen the path that I want to take from now on.
I am choosing to fight on...for the many good things which I feel can still happen.
I choose to give up certain things...but not because I have to sacrifice them...but because I want to.

and when there are days....when things sink low, and when my courage is spent, and my spirit is drained, I choose to keep on trying.

Dear God,
You know best...I am but a humble servant
Let me not give up...and don't ever give up on me.
Ameen

Nothing gold can stay

Nature's first green is gold

Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
              - Robert Frost-

This is one of my favourite poems.  Here Frost is at this best...a seemingly simple 8-line poem, but oh how aptly and deeply he captures the essence of the transience of life. It is forever changing, and as the wheels of life turns, we face different challenges, and change along with it...though there is that underlying implication that nothing in life is permanent.

"Nothing gold can stay... Really?
I remember this line being quoted in SE Hinton's "The Outsiders"...the classic tale of two groups of young men; on the verge of adulthood; facing life's twists and turns.  One of the characters, before dying, tells his friend to "stay gold"...and that is a line that I have often used on quite a few of my students.  I hope that while they move on in life, their inner self will 'stay gold...inner strength and courage...brought about by the strength of their characters.

Without a doubt, gold is considered to be one of the world's most precious commodities (ya...look at how the prices have sky-rocketed)...with even more marketable value than any of the precious gems. But back to the poem...while nothing gold can stay, the message there is one that is positive, rather than negative.  If we learn to accept that things will change, we will also be able to see that there are blessings that we get in life; and that the experiences of good and bad things we encounter, are natural.

There are no perfections in life...
Nothing remains forever good....nor does it stay forever bad.
We all have our fair share of good memories, and horrible experiences.
But we can still try...to keep the 'gold'...
so that life, is much more meaningful.

Nothing gold can stay....perhaps...
We can try...and keep on trying...
not to search for the 'fool's gold'
but the gold within our characters/

Dear God.,
Thank you...for another day.
Ameen