What is the role of a Parent?
(Text-type: Exposition)

OTTAWA - A CANADIAN court has lifted a 12-year-old girl's grounding,overturning her father's punishment for disobeying his orders to stay off the Internet, his lawyer said on Wednesday.The girl had taken her father to Quebec Superior Court after he refused to allow her to go on a school trip for chatting on website she tried to block, and then posting 'inappropriate' pictures of herself online using a friend's computer.

According to court documents, the girl's Internet transgression was just the latest in a string of broken house rules. Even so, Justice Suzanne Tessier found her punishment too severe.

Today's entry is an idea I borrowed from my brother's blog. He works in the legal area, and thus, has many interesting things to bring up. The above was an article published in a Canadian newspaper, about how a court has overturned a father's punishment on his daughter on the grounds that he is too strict with her.

We have often heard of the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the child " raised by a camp of people who believe that you need to 'punish' a child physically in order for him to be well- brought up. The other group believes in the 'soft approach', with a lot of counselling , pep talks and anything but to lay a finger, because you would not want to emotionally scar the child.

I am not going to quibble between who is right, and who is wrong. There is no direct answer there, and the debate continues. I would like to take the perpective of the issue that was raised in the newspaper article.

Here are some of the questions that I would like raised:
a) What has happened to the 'rights'of parents in raising a child?
b) On what basis did the judge make her decision and said that the father was too 'severe?"
c) Why on earth would a 12-year old (and with a 'history' of 'broken house rules"?
d) Why would a child take her parents to court?

I am a parent, and my stand is, if a child is still living under my roof, and is under my care and protection, then the child has to abide by the house rules I have laid down. It's just like them having to go to school, and obeying all the school rules.

One of the things that I firmly believe in is that all actions (good or bad) have a consequence, and the individual must take responsibility for the action that they have taken. This instils a sense of discipline, and slowly, imbues a sense of civic- consciousness and social responsibility too.

Yes, as a parent, it is my duty to love, and protect my child. But as a parent, it is my duty too...to raise the child 'right', to instill good, solid values that will anchor this child throughout his life. If my child does wrong, I need to ask, how much of the 'blame' do I need to shoulder? If I punish, it is because of the action & its consequence...and not because the child needs 'to be taught a lesson'.

It is hard being a parent. It is a full time job, and those of you who have read my entry on 'Amanah', you would know how worried I am about fulfilling my obligations. But now, if it means that 'democracy' and 'individual rights' will supercede my rights as a parent, I am simple terrified.

This is the wrong signal given to the young. It is telling them "Look...your parents do not know how to raise you. Poor thing....the court will look after you." If this is so, by all means, I will tell the child, "I am relinquished of my duty. You cannot abide by my rules, then you leave the house."

I know it sounds cruel...maybe, there is just too little information on this case for me to make my comments. But when the courts rule in favour of the child over the parent, it is making a statement almost as if to say, "You are not a good parent.!" When that happens, and I have lost my dignity, go ahead, find someone else whom you think will be able to raise the child right.

I have reserved my jugement about the child. But here is a scary thought...if all children think that they can go to court, and sue their parents for being "too strict; then what does it say about the future generation of the world?

I am horrified, terrified and petrified.