I need to really clear my head.
The worry is getting to me, and the head and the shoulders feel the heavy burden I supposedly carry.
Last night, short of calling me a hypocrite, someone pointed out that I do not practice what I tell others.
I tell others to move on...and look on the bright side.
So why am I wallowing in a self-created pool of despair?
I think it boils down to accountability.
Numbers don't lie...and ultimately, I am judged by those numbers.
I can find reasons and justifications...but my prosecutors are not magnanimous nor forgiving.
A captain must go down in the sinking ship.
This has nothing to do with altruism ... or being a hero.
It is realising one's shortcomings and how that can jeopardise some person's future.
Battered, humiliated....and made to feel like a miniscule of dust.
My self-esteem has been shredded...
My credibility made minute.
When you have been thrown deep down, and left for dead
Crawling up again ... is the hardest thing to do.
Chin up Dee
I know my conscience is clear...and that, hopefully offers hope and redemption.
Dear God,
I surrender to you.
Ameen
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