Touche - ?

This is for AB...
in response to what you have been up to

Today, you took me by surprise.
Instead of a dour look, there was a smile on your face this morning.  (My faltering, blurry eyesight may be wrong though)...a smile that seemed to reach your eyes.  I have not seen that for quite some time now.

For quite a while too...you seemed to have so caught up by an internal turmoil.
The 'ghosts' of your past haunt you...and you carry the albatross on your shoulder something you cannot shake off.  Funnily, at the back of my mind, I seem to still think that you really need to hold on to those things that weigh you down.  It is as if , if you finally decide to let them go...you'll find yourself without a sense of direction.

Round and round...
I think you have disected the problems...and analysed the causes ...in a way that only you can.
Your mind is sharp, - you think with such clarity...but..
The but shall remain a but...
for while you know the why and the how,
letting go...is still the hardest step for you to take.

I am sure, that by now, you would have realised that there are actually people who care for you.
That even though you seem to think that you are driving people away, your friends are there for you.
(Haha..I had actually hoped that some sweet young thing would have soften you up a little, and defrost you a little...but...nah, you will not allow that...not yet)

I am not sure if you are trying...but just like many others before you, I see a rite of passage coming.  It's like you having to walk through an uncertain path on your own.  Those who try to watch out for you can only stand by the sides and watch...as you try to take tentative steps forward...that is...if you really want to do you.  You are not quite ready to let go...you can't yet.

But let me say that you will...
You are the only one who can break through the shackles of your mind.

I have hope.
For today, I saw your smile...and I heard you laugh.
To me, that is a positive sign.

I don't know if you remember why I call you AB...or if you understand what AB really means.
It does not matter...
Just remember...you are special.