Filial Piety - is it a right?

This year, as part of its 'for family' campaigns, MCYS produced a commercial entitled "Filial Piety"...unlike its predecessors of the single father who tried his best to raise his daughter, or the moving yet endearing amusing eulogy of the wife in a mixed marriage, this latest one opened up a can of worms.

Intially, it seemed simple enough....a man who 'gives back' to his mother in her greying years.
But at what cost?
Hurting his wife, and from the perspective of the grandchild, the father must have been callous and unfair to side the grumpy (and seemingly ungrateful) old woman over his self-sacrificing wife.  What values then does he teach his son in return?...an impressionable teen who is not so sure that the old lady deserves such loving treatment when she apparently does not deserve it.

Of course, at a deeper level, some detractors have made snide remarks about the subtle 'brainwashing' of how people should view our government...and that this is another attempt to make the 'current generation' accept their responsibilities about looking after the elderly (ya.ya...ageing population and so on...)

Maybe...what went wrong was the 'stereotype characters'...filial, devoted son, senile, grumpy matriach, stoic, ill-suffering daughter-in-law, and the angsty, misunderstood grandson.  Nope, love conquers all does not sit too well in this family.

I do not need an advertisment to remind me about filial piety, or responsibilities.
It is a choice for many people today, I understand, whether or not they want to look after their parents; especially if the bond between parent and child is not there in the first place. I am not going to question their decisions, or pass judgements.

My late grandma, Nenek was not the easiest person to get along with.  She was not openly affectionate, and I suppose that raising her 10 kids made her busy.  But she obviously had favourites, and there were times, in her later years, that friction arose among the siblings as whose responsibility it was to look after her.  But, she was never without a home...and yes, I did wonder sometimes, why was it that my aunts and uncles (and their spouses) were giving up a lot to make her happy.

Then there were Nek Tor and Tok Hamid...two of the most loving parents ever.
The challenge then for my godma and her siblings was when tragically, the couple were stuck with Parkinson's and Alzheimers.
It takes a lot from the caregivers to look after aged, sickly parents...but never did I once hear complaints or grumbles.  They simply took it upon themselves to make their parents remaining years...as comfortable and happy as they could. They did it because they wanted to, not because they have to.

My parents too are getting on in age.
Alhamdulillah, so far they are still healthy...though I tend to worry.
Mak,,,,well, now, is displaying some of Nenek's characteristics. She can be moody, temperamental, and tend to say hurtful things unintentionally.  My own kids wonder about the change in her, and try their best to avoid her 'naggings'.

But when they need me, will I be able to shoulder that responsibility?
I pray to God for strength that I will...again, unconditionally.
It is not because of I am duty-bound, but because I choose to do so when the time comes.

And if I am old and weary...I will not want to bind my children to any obligation.
Love is unconditional...you need not be beholden by it.
If my kids do not see it as necessary, let it be.
If they do, then I am blessed.
I pray that I will be a good role model to my kids.
Or...that I may go early...and never be a burden to anyone.