The world goes on...deal with it.

These few days, I have learnt a lot just by observing people - especially the children in school. I also have been re-reading Florence Littauer's "Personality Plus" to have a better understanding of why people behave the way they do (hahaha...yes...in a way it's true when someone says "I cannot help it.I'm born this way!")

But one of the best opportunties to study positivity and resilience presented itself yesterday evening when I met up with one of my ex-students. I have always thought of him as a calm and steady person.  His quiet demeanour belies the inner turbulence he experiences daily.  He is not academically strong, and I remember his struggles facing the O'levels.  But he kept going on....and ...on...and on...pushing himself.

I think when one has a 'bigger purpose' in life, somehow, that provides the motivation to keep on peservering. I knew he had issues, most of them, not of his doing. He knew that his results would be key to getting out of his predicament, and no matter how hard things got, he just had to never lose sight of that.  But I can image, even at 17 then, having to balance between studies and work.  There was no other choice. He had to support his mother.

Currently, he is in a polytechnic, in his final year.
He gave up a chance for a work attachment abroad, because it was just not financially viable, and of course, it meant that his mother, who was not working, would not be able to fend for herself. (let's not talk about dad - cos he is the root cause of all the problems)

So he managed to compact his study schedule to 4 days in a week - Monday to Thursday - from 8am to 8pm.  It is something called the 'competition route'.  On Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, he works from 9am to 9pm (for $7 per hour...and "every single cent counts, Cher"). When probed, he survives on a 'decent breakfast' at home, and eats again only when he reaches home for dinner. Weekdays are 'luxuries' because his work at the F&B outlet has lunch thrown in...and when probed what he does doing lunch breaks in school - he smiles and says that "I catch up with sleep'.

I was tearing.
Through the years I have known him, never have I understood the extent of his struggles.  But yesterday was the first time he opened up to me - and told in a matter-of-fact way. There are no regrets, no sighs, no hoots, no complaints...and no whining.  Yesterday, he shared, simply because he was just tired...not tired of what he was going through, but just tired physically.

But the face remained serene and smiling.
I supposed that we all need to 'unload' and share sometimes...so it all came tumbling out.
The house rents are three months overdue, so are the utility bills. So the family is on the verge of eviction...

His lowest point was when the 'creditors' came aknocking in the middle of the night threatening their lives...he was so badly rattled that he failed all his subjects in the middle of last year. But by sheer grit, he clawed his way back...His regret was letting that episode pull down his GPA.

I spent a considerable time, just allowing him to speak. I really felt so humbled in his presence.  It was as if my own problems were so negligable compared to what he is going through.

I offered some help.
He gently brushed me aside. "No charity, cher," he chided. I know that this 'pride' is something he so strongly holds on to...it was a matter of principles...his sense of honour.

My son, Akmal, was with me throughout the dinner.  He has long come to regard this person as his 'godbrother'.  And when we left, Akmal asked me this:
"Ma...how does one go through so much and remain so strong and cheerful? I want to learn this from Kor-Kor"."

I am glad Akmal saw that.
And I am grateful that Allah send me these 'children' as reminders of my own purpose in life.

Alhamdulillah.