"The Living Years"

The Living Years

One of the best lyrics ever written , I feel, is found in the song "The Living Years", by Mike and the Mechanics. The song, is deceptively simple. It is about a son, who upon the birth of his child, reflects upon his own tumultuous relationship with his father. He comes a full circle, for only when he is placed in his father's shoes, he is able to understand his dad's "spirit", and hears his "echoes".

I have used this song for my lessons, and I think, some of you out there, may remember this. There has always been a range of responses for this exercise...for those who could immediately understand the power of the lyrics...and those who stubbornly resist 'a futile sentimental exercise' for 'my parents will never change."

Do you burn bridges, or do you build them?

"Every generation, blames the one before,
and all of their frustrations, come beating on your door..."

The generation gap is the easiest excuse to use each time the parent and the child find themselves not being able to agree with each other. Really? Are they so different in their outlook and values? Are we really not able 'to see eye-to-eye'? The parent as the adult, thinks that he has absolute authority to impose his ways, for he has a right over his child...and of course, the child sees the parents' as unreasonable tyrants who make impossible demands and set ridiculous expectations?


"I know I am a prisoner to all my father held so dear.
I know I am a hostage to all his hopes and fears..."


It's tough being a child, a teen...but I must tell you that it is going to be even tougher being a parent ... to a teen. Almost all parents think it is their prerogative to decide what is best for their child...and sometimes, they forget that what they want may not be best for the child...


"You say you just don't see it, he says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement in this present tense
We all talk a different language, talking in defense"


So what went wrong? How did things go wrong?
I mean...if we look at the bigger picture of our imperfect world...when men can never fully agree, and war breaks out because there is no consensus, no harmony; I think we can trace it back to the very basic of most relationships...of that between a parent and a child.

I find the line "we all talk a different language, talking in defense" so compellingly true. How did the relationship become so complicated? I feel that one of the hardest thing to do as a parent sometimes...is to listen....to our children.
We hear a lot of sounds...a lot of chatter...a lot of noise, but how much do we listen and understand?

It takes to two hands to clap....and communication must be a two-way channel. As humans...we all seek to understand, and be understood in return. There is no perfection in this world...and so we need not strive for it...We strive to live our lives to the fullest of our abilities, and choose ways that will bring people together; not drive them away.

I feel, before we can even talk about world peace, and about saving the world...let us save ourselves, and the people who matter most.


So to all mums and dads out there, and also the children...let us give hope to the future...in our living years.