The Ties That Bind

Yesterday, I attended the birthday party of one of my nephews. It was a family affair, but because my sis-in-law comes from a rather large family, Jeff's cousins from his mother's side amounted to more than 17 (I think). So the event was a noisy, happy affair.

As a child, I was never lonely. Grandma's house was a hive of activity most of the time, filled with endless chatter and the fragrant smell of freshly-pounded spices. I have many cousins (35 in total), and there was a bunch of us who were especially close because the age gap is minimal.

Oh how wonderful it was to have so many playmates and partners-in-crime. Back in the good old days where we had almost no electronic games...or even toys (hey, money was hard to come by), we still had the time of our lives. A little creativity and a streak of adventure were all that you would need to fill up your time.

There were enough of us to form 2 soccer teams. The leaders, Abang Amir, and Abang Aman made sure that no one was left out...and that the girls were never seen as weaklings. There were no stereotypical games...

With them, I learnt how to go into the big drains, and look for longkang fish...I built paper boats which we floated and held our mini races. We raced against trishaws, and took part in every possible dare....from climbing the drainpipes, to jumping the 'yeye' ropes and "lestik" (catapult) the lizards off the walls.

The boys taught the rest of the girls to be brave and resilient. They taught us how to physically fight, so that no one would dare bully us. We arm-wrestled, held our ground when we were stared at, and put on a brave front should anyone try to intimidate. Through them, I knew how to look for spiders, and tell the difference between the 'kang' and 'boo'...and I knew how to spit at open wounds to stop the bleeding. Being the daredevil, I climbed on to rickety zinc roofs, and once, slept right in the middle of a road...

On the other hand, the guys gave in to the girls when we decided to play 'home' or 'masak-masak'. We girls subjected them to baby-sitting our make believe dolls, and they learn to sing songs which girls only croon.

We had more than our fair share of squabbles and petty jealousies...but we also knew how to apologise and make up.

On the eve of Hari Raya, my grandma's humble abode became the most valued property on earth. Household chores became fun, because we were doing them together...amid the teasings and easy banter. We may not have the grandest decorations, or the brightest fairy lights...but there was so much love around that we never realised how 'financially deprived' we were. We just had each other...and that was enough.

I am not sure why I am feeling nostalgic at the moment.
It's just the idea how important family (both close and extended) is to me.
Almost all of my cousins are grown, and with families of their own. But I am so proud to say that the same closeness is still fostered and perpetuated today. Grandma may be gone, but she left us with such a rich legacy. We know, that through good and bad times, we will always have the family.


Pray for today:
Dear God, Thank you for my family...who have given me unwavering support. Thank you for the people who accepts me for who I am, and will put me in my place should I ever forget my roots. I remember Grandma, and I really, really miss her. Bless her soul, for she was truly the anchor who held all of us together.
Please allow my children to share the same joy and comfort of leading a simple and fulfilled life. Remind them of the ties that bind...must always be looked after, for they can also be the ties that break easily in today's society. - Ameen