Conquering the Self

The Greek philosopher Plato once asserted, " The first and the best victory is to conquer self". How often are we able to do this?

Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to allow the mind to conquer the spirit, or even the other way round. When there are long and difficult days, why does it feel that it is so much easier to give up than push on? Or why is it that it feels so challenging to do what is right even when do you not feel like you want to do it.

I am not schizophrenic...nor am I delusional.
Yet time and time again, it feels strange when the brain and the heart do not work in tandem with each other. I sometimes get this surreal experience when I can 'hear' the two parts having a conversation with each other.

Lets take a simple case: NTUC offers the tubs of Ben&Jerry's at a special price.
Heart: Yea! Yea! Go...go...get it...buy...buy.
Brain: Hey, excuse me...take a good look at what B&J has done to the body. Fat..Fat..
Heart: Hello...it's all in the stress factor ok? So what? She's married anyway...She
can afford to be rounded.
Brain: But you know she will consume it at one go...that's not good.
Heart: Look...when she needs to feel good...and if chocolate ice-cream is the
antidote, why do you want to stop her?
Brain: Hey...she consumes too much chocolate already lah. The highs and lows are
are like peaks and valleys.
Heart: If she is happy...we are happy?
Brain: Really ah...but if she gets sick...
Heart: I suffer first...oh no...
Brain: But...we do want her happy...
Heart: So how now?

I hope you get the point...Imagine going window shopping, and having all this internal conversation going on. I don't need to tell you who usually wins. Reason, compassion, logic, empathy all must be delicately balanced.

But seriously, on a higher level, this is really tough. While I may be able to present the most logical and rational thought processes, I still succumb. Where did the self-will and discipline go to?

There are so many other things going on in our lives where we need the moral courage and integrity to put things 'right'. But time and time again, because of challenges, because of self-doubts, because of circumstances...we throw in the towel...or worse this, allow apathy to set in.

Sir Edmund Hillary was once asked about how he made it to the top of Mount Everest. While he acknowledged the physical challenges, he remarked, "It is not the mountains we conquer, but overselves."

So I'm going back to the very basic things...self-discipline.
I need to re-learn to master myself first...
Wish me well.