Out of Sync

Over the weekend, I am fully convinced that all things electronic and mechanical are out to get me. If there is a great conspiracy theory I believe in, it is that the 'Higher Being of Technology' is planning to bring me down.

At home, I must never mention out aloud,...no...I must not even think about looking at a new handphone (like a pink Samsung Armani), or eye a stand-alone deepchest freezer...My walls have eyes and ears...and the "O-great-mechanical-one' seizes the opportunity to send one of his pawns on beserk mode.

My handphone has been resuscitated more than once. It has suffered all possible ailments, but I am resisting finding a new one because it is so hard to find an almost idiot-proof one in bright purple. There are no pretty ones currently in the market, and no, I do not need an nth power megapixel or some goodness-knows-what programme which does not add value to my life. But the moment I wowed over the Hello Kitty (ya...go ahead...laugh) handphone...the current one acts as though it is on the throes of a violent end.

The laptops are no better...I guess I must swear off external disk drives which swallow up all my data and refuse to vomit them out again. When I need to hook up for my lessons, the projector refuses to cooperate, and the fully charged laptops mysteriously get drained of their energy. No amount of coaxings or threats will get them to work.

I know that I have been eyeing the slim HD LCD TVs...so much so that the current idiot screen box are crying for mercy, and my radios are chewing my music CDs faster than I can chew gum. The only thing cold about my fridge is my love for it...and the electric sockets in the house are slowly playing a game of 'lets-trip-for-fun',

Sigh.
Someone said that perhaps it is me who is the cause of all these problems...something new agey that my 8th Chakra (?) is out of sync. Apparently, one kind soul said that I should be dipping myself in Himalayan rock salt so that I can recharge my magnetic field. Whoa...my dulled brains will take ages to comprehend that...Yup...even the internal CPU is lagging.

So how?
Can anyone help me to de-magnetised all the bad vibes that I have been absorbing and emitting?
I cannot afford to buy new stuff.