Shaken & Stirred

Within a short space of 3 days, many things happened.
And since I know that you will be reading this, I hope you will understand some of my references here.

Firstly, I am still on the topic of the DISC.
I am reflecting on how I perceive my environment, and how I respond to it.
Ok...

I am the high S, high C.(at the other extreme, comes the low D. low I)
Technically, this profiling all came about from choices...both the positive and negative choices I have made, and how they now shape my outlook of things.
Positive psychology looks into areas where one must leverage on one's strengths in order to propel one towards achieving one's goals.  But we all have our cynical and skeptical sides right.

Why have I seem to 'reject' things I once used to enjoy?
I think I was outgoing, gregarious, fun-loving and enthusiatic.
I grew up around so many people, and the nature of my job makes me want to be around people.
Why have I allowed myself to grativate towards introverted tendencies?

Experiences can change a person, both consciously and unconsciously.
I have reached a stage in my life where I am comfortable with who I am..
I love being with my family, and my circle of friends are the selected few.  I touch base with people around me via other means.  There is no longer a great need to be a social butterfly...that is too stressful.
I understand my father a lot better now...while mum makes it a point to go around and physically meet up, abah finds comfort around those who really mean a lot to him.

So what have I become?
Lets see if any of these hit the nail on the head?
By being a low D, I am subservient and docile. I allow people to walk over me. (But for you: I hope you see now why I blew up...Both of us patience have their limits...so while I am used to your short explosions,...you need to understand that when I blow, the eruption is just short of a major catastrophe).I have learned many bitter lessons in the work place, and thus, I am less trusting.  When I remain quiet and observant, others are not sure what I am thinking. Pragmatism has its merits, but I seem to have lost my spirit and my drive.

I want to quote something from my personal profile:
"Your tendency to follow procedures and rules in both your personal and professional life means that you are usually restrained in my emotions. In fact, an aura of cautious deliberation may often surrond you.  Even under pressure, you are likely to remain tactful and diplomatic."

Yes...I have chosen that.
I have chosen to, on many occasions hold my tongue and not say what I truly feel.
I have chosen to remain rational and in control....for I fear that when I don't do that, I will be utterly lost.
I have learned to think before I speak, and always be mindful of others.
And in the end, I end up being a very frustrated person, channelling all the negative energy elsewhere.

Saturday....
I guess it was a day of reckoning.
And I hope that we both learnt important lessons from that incident.
"You are likely to fear antagonistic behaviour, which may be because your sense of self-worth is not as high as it could be. it might help you to realise that you tend to define your value too much by what you accomplish, rather than by who you are as a person."
We are similar, and yet different.  What holds us together are the values and beliefs.
I fear that when fire is fought with fire...we both get burnt.
It's a hard lesson we learnt
One I will not forget easily.

Really shaken,
Really stirred
Really on the rocks.