Some of you asked if I have stopped writing.
Well, I did because I seemed to have lost my muse for a while. Though I have yet to find it, let me just do some catch up before I get a little rusty. I will simply run through the events that I had missed out.
Happy Birthday Jan Babies
Within the extended family network, there are about 8 of us who celebrate our birthdays in January (and this does not include my cousins). Anyway, it has been a tradition for me to hold the mass celebration at my place (even a small gathering means at least 30 people...a great time to save on cake (hahaha) and splurge on presents. Yes...thank you all for the mini notebook...I love it.
Happy Birthday Abah
I love you so much Daddy...you are the best father in the world. I pray that Allah bless you with good health and a meaningful happy life...I can never be able to repay you for raising me right...
Happy Birthday Abang, My Love
Thank you for being my supportive Significant Other. I am grateful that God has bound our fates together...Thank you for being my friend and my guide.
Happy Birthday, Akmal.
My youngest baby ... is no longer a baby. You are 11 this year...and pretty soon...you will be a teen. I hope you will never be too old for cuddles and tickle monsters...Mama loves you to bits.
Many other things happened too during the course of the week; some good...others...challenging. Each new day brings forth new obstacles; some small, some ...insurmountable.
But one of the most important lesson I have been shown is that...if you do good to others, good will eventually come to you. I am not going to be take the credit in my helping others. I do things that I feel is right, and do not expect anything in return.
But I have been shown how good others are.
My friends...whose support have been unwavering, and their attempts to help me up again
My kids at home and school...for believing in me
My mentor...for the support
and of course...a friend who went out of his way to do a personal favour to try to help my son.
And to those whom I call my own...
Stay strong, and be ready to face the next phase of your lives. Things will get more exciting, and just as frustrating too. Learn to hold your head up high, for you are special and unique.
And to Namira,
I never got to thank you for spending the day with us last Saturday. I am glad I got to know you, and hope to be able to get to know you better. I hope you enjoyed yourself despite the noise and chaos. Congrats on getting a place in MJ.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Ripples in the Water
I think the best illustration for the point I want to make today is this. Pick up a piece of stone and fling it into the water. It is called Stone Skimming. The test of your strength and perhaps skill, lies in the ability to make that stone 'jump' a few times before it finally sinks. But what I am interested in is the ripples in the water.
Physics can explain why the stone causes the rippling effect, and why the stone jumps. It has to do with weight,angles, buoyancy, equilibrium and exchange of both kinetic and potential energies. Physics however, is not quite my forte. I just want to transfer the analogy to something bigger.
At any point of our lives, we experience ripples (though for some, it seems like we are are constantly washed over by tsunamis instead). When a force, no matter how big or small, strikes at us, we feel the effects. Our sense of equilibrium is upset, and we continue to find our balance somehow...or else we will never be at ease.
Sometimes too, we are the ones who 'throw the stones'. We upset the calm. We are the ones who create the impetus for the change of state and create that chain reaction. Without a doubt, there is an impactful cause and effect relationship which cannot be avoided. What more, when that stone creates the multiplier effect.
How aware are we, of the consequences of our own actions? How much do we care about how others feel? More importantly...as the 'stone' or 'water'...what do we do when we find ourselves in this situation? (sorry to really stretch this analogy so much)
To my little adik who reads this:
I can fully empathise your situation. All you want is for the pond to be calm and still again. Yet someone keeps throwing the stones over and over again. For you, the effect is rather turbulent, and the ripples are gaining such momentum that the water will spill over the banks.
Perhaps, the only way now, to find an inner peace, is to stop more stones being flung. I know that will be a very difficult decision. I know you have been seeking for answers, and have realised that in life, there are a lot of things which cannot be answered, nor can we even come close to comprehend fully.
Have faith in God, and in yourself. Someone once said that "Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse. Faith draws poison from every grief, takes the sting from every loss, and quenches the fire of every pain; and only faith can do it."
Do not lose your spirit. Whatever decision you make, I'll be around...whether beside to hold your hand...behind, to support...or ahead...to gently lead you.
I believe you will be able
To L:
I keep referring to you as the lost sheep...but then again, maybe you are not as 'lost' as I think you are. While my rationality is flummoxed by your decision, deep down, I admire the tenacity you display to go after what you really really really want.
You have showed me that when you truly believe, you will have something to live for.
To the person who reads this, and knows who you are:
I am going to stop throwing stones.
My intentions were sincere...for I had wanted to really 'shake you' so that yours will have a positive multiplier effect. Ripples can do a lot of good too. I had acted on faith, on a belief that I could somehow help you find the key to unlock your potential. It was not blind faith that prompted that decision; it was really made on an unwavering belief in you.
However, it seems that I am doing more harm than good.
And I guess, the ripples it created have both the backsplash, and backlash on me.
So as long as you feel the way you do right now, the albatross hangs on my back too. And it will be hung...as a symbol of ......failure.
I know you will never accept the apology...but I hope you will understand. Do also remember how the ripples in the other ponds all affect me. I get it left, right and centre...
Unlike with my little adik, where I know where to stand...I am really uncertain what to do now for I neither lead nor guide. Perhaps moving far behind would be best, at the moment...
To the rest:
The ripple in the water analogy is actually something quite beautiful. If we can a positive change in this world, we need to be the agent of change...in the right way.
Hope you like this link.
www.link4u.com/new4/index
Physics can explain why the stone causes the rippling effect, and why the stone jumps. It has to do with weight,angles, buoyancy, equilibrium and exchange of both kinetic and potential energies. Physics however, is not quite my forte. I just want to transfer the analogy to something bigger.
At any point of our lives, we experience ripples (though for some, it seems like we are are constantly washed over by tsunamis instead). When a force, no matter how big or small, strikes at us, we feel the effects. Our sense of equilibrium is upset, and we continue to find our balance somehow...or else we will never be at ease.
Sometimes too, we are the ones who 'throw the stones'. We upset the calm. We are the ones who create the impetus for the change of state and create that chain reaction. Without a doubt, there is an impactful cause and effect relationship which cannot be avoided. What more, when that stone creates the multiplier effect.
How aware are we, of the consequences of our own actions? How much do we care about how others feel? More importantly...as the 'stone' or 'water'...what do we do when we find ourselves in this situation? (sorry to really stretch this analogy so much)
To my little adik who reads this:
I can fully empathise your situation. All you want is for the pond to be calm and still again. Yet someone keeps throwing the stones over and over again. For you, the effect is rather turbulent, and the ripples are gaining such momentum that the water will spill over the banks.
Perhaps, the only way now, to find an inner peace, is to stop more stones being flung. I know that will be a very difficult decision. I know you have been seeking for answers, and have realised that in life, there are a lot of things which cannot be answered, nor can we even come close to comprehend fully.
Have faith in God, and in yourself. Someone once said that "Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse. Faith draws poison from every grief, takes the sting from every loss, and quenches the fire of every pain; and only faith can do it."
Do not lose your spirit. Whatever decision you make, I'll be around...whether beside to hold your hand...behind, to support...or ahead...to gently lead you.
I believe you will be able
To L:
I keep referring to you as the lost sheep...but then again, maybe you are not as 'lost' as I think you are. While my rationality is flummoxed by your decision, deep down, I admire the tenacity you display to go after what you really really really want.
You have showed me that when you truly believe, you will have something to live for.
To the person who reads this, and knows who you are:
I am going to stop throwing stones.
My intentions were sincere...for I had wanted to really 'shake you' so that yours will have a positive multiplier effect. Ripples can do a lot of good too. I had acted on faith, on a belief that I could somehow help you find the key to unlock your potential. It was not blind faith that prompted that decision; it was really made on an unwavering belief in you.
However, it seems that I am doing more harm than good.
And I guess, the ripples it created have both the backsplash, and backlash on me.
So as long as you feel the way you do right now, the albatross hangs on my back too. And it will be hung...as a symbol of ......failure.
I know you will never accept the apology...but I hope you will understand. Do also remember how the ripples in the other ponds all affect me. I get it left, right and centre...
Unlike with my little adik, where I know where to stand...I am really uncertain what to do now for I neither lead nor guide. Perhaps moving far behind would be best, at the moment...
To the rest:
The ripple in the water analogy is actually something quite beautiful. If we can a positive change in this world, we need to be the agent of change...in the right way.
Hope you like this link.
www.link4u.com/new4/index
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Random Questions: Dazed Mum Part II
I think there are some people in the world who take perverse pleasure in making other people suffer. They have so much time on their hands, and instead of twiddling thumbs, they create all kinds of random surveys to stump, befog, befuddle, stupendy (nah...that's too intelligent)and stupidify(?) people who under normal circumstances ,have some amount of workng grey matter.
But...since I am in the mood to do mindless things, here I am again, humouring those who tagged me because of their insatiable curiosity about my idiosyncrasies..[I only do this when my brain is drowsy from drugs] Again, I shall put it into context so that should I ever be taken away in a straightjacket one day, you know the reason why.
Here goes:
1. I found the deep-rooted cause of why I can never pass A Maths - especially probability, combination and permutation. What are the chances of me sweeping under the kids' beds and finding a pair of socks that match? Answer: ZERO!..5 different coloured and sizes socks...1 power ranger underpants (outgrown by about 2 years)..1 hello kitty hair clip...1 lollypop, 1 live cat...(you get the idea)
2. I agree wholeheartedly with Milton Berle who asks this most pertinent question: If there is really such a thing as evolution, why is it that mothers still have 2 hands? Honestly, there are times when my children (hubby included) who seem to think that I am part octopus.
3. I own a king-sized bed but have only 1/4 of all that space to sleep on. The reason? The bed is a refugee haven..from the two-legged ones to the furry four-legged creatures. Puhlez...just because my tummy is soft and flabby, it is not(!) a place to be slept on.
4. Oh...Erma Bombeck once said that "Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids!" Kekekeke...My children definitely passed their spontaneous, crazy, absurd, ludricrous and sometimes deranged characteristics to poor me when I least suspect it. (I do not care how interesting that video clip is on youtube...No! you do not spin dry the cat in the washing machine!)
5. As a mother, I have learnt that you will perpetually be sleep deprived until all the children leave the the nest.[see number three]...I can identify things that go bang in the night, when the fridge is being raided, and fall victim to handphones which are screechy enough to wake the dead except their owners. Why don't the children ever listen when I warn them not to watch horror films? Wake me up again when I have just fallen asleep..and I will personally haunt you in your dreams.
6. I am still figuring out why the child who talks and chatters endlessly, and is always eager to please turns into a piece of driftwood with the onset of the teenage years. Please understand that while did phonetics 101...I am not able to understand grunts, moans and whines. And..."Whatever"...does not exist in my vocabulary.
7. I have finally learnt to accept the white hair on my head...I shall consider each new strand as a motherhood medal of courage...since the contributors to my stress level going up are the kids themselves.
8. On days when my patience draws thin,I fully understand why some animals eat their young. Hehehehe...close...very, very close.
9. Though my ears are covered most of the time, I have the uncanny ability to pick up whenever a toot word is being uttered, or when an unsavoury remark is passed (thank you God...I may be going deaf from all the noise, but my ears are bionic when necessary)
10. My all time favourite wish is for the greatest invention to come for all mothers in future, It is a tracking device that can be implanted into all babies when they are born. The device will be able to send regular alerts like a) alive and kicking b) up to no-good and c) oops...he/she did again (be prepared for cardiac arrest!)
I realise that I am not the only harried mum...below are some funny imaginary quotes from mothers of famous people. Credits to http://www.scribd.com/doc/3246162/FAMOUS-MOTHERS-VERY-FUNNY
Michangelo's Mum
"Why can't you paint the walls like other children? Do you know who difficult it is to get the stuff off the ceiling?"
Columbus's Mum
"I do not care if you have discovered the world. The least you could have done is call home."
Edison's Mum
"Of course I am proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now switch it off and go to sleep."
Please...please avoid tagging me unless it is absolutely necessary ok?...
and...to all my kids out there...Gong Xi Fa Cai
But...since I am in the mood to do mindless things, here I am again, humouring those who tagged me because of their insatiable curiosity about my idiosyncrasies..[I only do this when my brain is drowsy from drugs] Again, I shall put it into context so that should I ever be taken away in a straightjacket one day, you know the reason why.
Here goes:
1. I found the deep-rooted cause of why I can never pass A Maths - especially probability, combination and permutation. What are the chances of me sweeping under the kids' beds and finding a pair of socks that match? Answer: ZERO!..5 different coloured and sizes socks...1 power ranger underpants (outgrown by about 2 years)..1 hello kitty hair clip...1 lollypop, 1 live cat...(you get the idea)
2. I agree wholeheartedly with Milton Berle who asks this most pertinent question: If there is really such a thing as evolution, why is it that mothers still have 2 hands? Honestly, there are times when my children (hubby included) who seem to think that I am part octopus.
3. I own a king-sized bed but have only 1/4 of all that space to sleep on. The reason? The bed is a refugee haven..from the two-legged ones to the furry four-legged creatures. Puhlez...just because my tummy is soft and flabby, it is not(!) a place to be slept on.
4. Oh...Erma Bombeck once said that "Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids!" Kekekeke...My children definitely passed their spontaneous, crazy, absurd, ludricrous and sometimes deranged characteristics to poor me when I least suspect it. (I do not care how interesting that video clip is on youtube...No! you do not spin dry the cat in the washing machine!)
5. As a mother, I have learnt that you will perpetually be sleep deprived until all the children leave the the nest.[see number three]...I can identify things that go bang in the night, when the fridge is being raided, and fall victim to handphones which are screechy enough to wake the dead except their owners. Why don't the children ever listen when I warn them not to watch horror films? Wake me up again when I have just fallen asleep..and I will personally haunt you in your dreams.
6. I am still figuring out why the child who talks and chatters endlessly, and is always eager to please turns into a piece of driftwood with the onset of the teenage years. Please understand that while did phonetics 101...I am not able to understand grunts, moans and whines. And..."Whatever"...does not exist in my vocabulary.
7. I have finally learnt to accept the white hair on my head...I shall consider each new strand as a motherhood medal of courage...since the contributors to my stress level going up are the kids themselves.
8. On days when my patience draws thin,I fully understand why some animals eat their young. Hehehehe...close...very, very close.
9. Though my ears are covered most of the time, I have the uncanny ability to pick up whenever a toot word is being uttered, or when an unsavoury remark is passed (thank you God...I may be going deaf from all the noise, but my ears are bionic when necessary)
10. My all time favourite wish is for the greatest invention to come for all mothers in future, It is a tracking device that can be implanted into all babies when they are born. The device will be able to send regular alerts like a) alive and kicking b) up to no-good and c) oops...he/she did again (be prepared for cardiac arrest!)
I realise that I am not the only harried mum...below are some funny imaginary quotes from mothers of famous people. Credits to http://www.scribd.com/doc/3246162/FAMOUS-MOTHERS-VERY-FUNNY
Michangelo's Mum
"Why can't you paint the walls like other children? Do you know who difficult it is to get the stuff off the ceiling?"
Columbus's Mum
"I do not care if you have discovered the world. The least you could have done is call home."
Edison's Mum
"Of course I am proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now switch it off and go to sleep."
Please...please avoid tagging me unless it is absolutely necessary ok?...
and...to all my kids out there...Gong Xi Fa Cai
Saturday, January 24, 2009
When The Going Gets Tough
My dearest children
I write this in the spirit of what our PM said in his CNY message to all Singaporeans. We are facing tough times...and I do want you to understand the seriousness of the situation.
You have had it easy...You have a roof over your heads, and you have your meals and clothes, and more. Sometimes, Mama thinks that we over-indulge...because you never know what it is like to be truly hungry, to be cold, and to be homeless. I pray that God will always protect you from those sufferings.
But I wonder...
Have my need to protect and shelter you left you unprepared for the real challenges in life? Have I raised you to be resilient and resourceful? In this day and age, where it seems that vices prevail over virtues, have I imparted the core skills that you will need?
Do remember the 3 Rules which I want you to hold on to.
1. Look after yourself.
Love yourself...for when you do, you will always want to be the best human possible...who is directed by moral values and a strong sense of 'iman'. You will keep your feet firmly on the ground, and remain unshaken when you face the trials and tribulations in life.
2. Look after each other
Draw your strength from your family. When the going gets tough, close ranks and stand united. As cliched as it may be, think of the bunch of sticks that cannot be bent and broken when they are tied as a bunch.
3. Look after the larger community.
I think that there is much to be said about this...(which I will pick up at a later date)
I want to talk about family and friends.
"The family s the most important raft in the times of crisis' PM Lee.
We, so far, have been very lucky. Abah & Mama are still economically viable, and we will be able to see that you get your needs met...Needs, and not wants!...Wants are things that you will have to work hard for.
Maybe there will be some good coming out from this unstable, difficult times...when once greed, self-satisfaction and materialism once ruled ... maybe now, people will be able to evaluate what they really need in life. Especially those who pursue 'the good life' only...and not a care about others.
I am thankful that your abah and I were guided by God...not to lose sight of what makes our lives meaningful...it is you...our children...and of course...through the course of the years...the other 'children' we have met and grown to love. You will never be alone...for you have each other...
The road ahead is long, unwinding, and probably rocky at many stages. But do persevere...and push, or pull each other along. Share in each other's success, and provide comfort and support when one is down.
You can't choose family, but you can choose friends...I hope you know who they are...for they are just as important. Make your family your friends too, and turn to them for advice and counsel. I also hope that the bigger circle of 'kids' I have, will be able to be your 'big brothers and sisters' who will be able to be people you can depend on too someday.
We will face the challenge, and I believe, we as a family, will emerge stronger. Insyaallah.
Love
Mama
I write this in the spirit of what our PM said in his CNY message to all Singaporeans. We are facing tough times...and I do want you to understand the seriousness of the situation.
You have had it easy...You have a roof over your heads, and you have your meals and clothes, and more. Sometimes, Mama thinks that we over-indulge...because you never know what it is like to be truly hungry, to be cold, and to be homeless. I pray that God will always protect you from those sufferings.
But I wonder...
Have my need to protect and shelter you left you unprepared for the real challenges in life? Have I raised you to be resilient and resourceful? In this day and age, where it seems that vices prevail over virtues, have I imparted the core skills that you will need?
Do remember the 3 Rules which I want you to hold on to.
1. Look after yourself.
Love yourself...for when you do, you will always want to be the best human possible...who is directed by moral values and a strong sense of 'iman'. You will keep your feet firmly on the ground, and remain unshaken when you face the trials and tribulations in life.
2. Look after each other
Draw your strength from your family. When the going gets tough, close ranks and stand united. As cliched as it may be, think of the bunch of sticks that cannot be bent and broken when they are tied as a bunch.
3. Look after the larger community.
I think that there is much to be said about this...(which I will pick up at a later date)
I want to talk about family and friends.
"The family s the most important raft in the times of crisis' PM Lee.
We, so far, have been very lucky. Abah & Mama are still economically viable, and we will be able to see that you get your needs met...Needs, and not wants!...Wants are things that you will have to work hard for.
Maybe there will be some good coming out from this unstable, difficult times...when once greed, self-satisfaction and materialism once ruled ... maybe now, people will be able to evaluate what they really need in life. Especially those who pursue 'the good life' only...and not a care about others.
I am thankful that your abah and I were guided by God...not to lose sight of what makes our lives meaningful...it is you...our children...and of course...through the course of the years...the other 'children' we have met and grown to love. You will never be alone...for you have each other...
The road ahead is long, unwinding, and probably rocky at many stages. But do persevere...and push, or pull each other along. Share in each other's success, and provide comfort and support when one is down.
You can't choose family, but you can choose friends...I hope you know who they are...for they are just as important. Make your family your friends too, and turn to them for advice and counsel. I also hope that the bigger circle of 'kids' I have, will be able to be your 'big brothers and sisters' who will be able to be people you can depend on too someday.
We will face the challenge, and I believe, we as a family, will emerge stronger. Insyaallah.
Love
Mama
Friday, January 23, 2009
Home...where the heart should be...
It has been a good day...to touch base with friends and family, and my many children. I had a good laugh with C, and was glad to see E's sense of humour growing.( smile more please). Of course, there was lunch with Sky, and Akmal...and when I came home, my big boy was home after being away for three days. And in the evening, I was surrounded by the endless exchange of corny jokes between Akmal and Iffah...ah, at this point, life is bliss.
All the money in the world cannot buy the special moments I have had with those who mean a lot to me. And I am warmed and comforted in the knowledge that I have a large, loving family.
While I count my blessings, I also realise that there are some out there who are not as fortunate...to feel the way I do.
But let me share with you a secret...I think I feel gratified because I think I work hard at building relationships. I guess I believe that love is something that should be unconditional...give willingly, and expect nothing in return. But so far, I feel I am the one who has gotten so much.
And in the spirit of the coming festivity, I make an appeal to all...to put aside the negative emotions, to be forgiving, and keep on building bridges. Your family...your friends...your parents, your children....are really worth your time, and love.
Here's a clip to help you remember why.
Even if the I am not able to link you to the site...please watch the Petronas ads...that deal a lot with family values. Let me tell you that it will be worth your while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqDdhloTLM4
All the money in the world cannot buy the special moments I have had with those who mean a lot to me. And I am warmed and comforted in the knowledge that I have a large, loving family.
While I count my blessings, I also realise that there are some out there who are not as fortunate...to feel the way I do.
But let me share with you a secret...I think I feel gratified because I think I work hard at building relationships. I guess I believe that love is something that should be unconditional...give willingly, and expect nothing in return. But so far, I feel I am the one who has gotten so much.
And in the spirit of the coming festivity, I make an appeal to all...to put aside the negative emotions, to be forgiving, and keep on building bridges. Your family...your friends...your parents, your children....are really worth your time, and love.
Here's a clip to help you remember why.
Even if the I am not able to link you to the site...please watch the Petronas ads...that deal a lot with family values. Let me tell you that it will be worth your while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqDdhloTLM4
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Don't Sell Yourself Short
These past two weeks, I took the kids in school on a journey on self-discovery...though I really wonder how many of them realised this fact. Many would have thought that it was just some language exercise they had to do, from writing testimonials, to finding out a whole range of new words that could use to describe people...and more importantly, themselves.
I really wanted them to make the connection between the things they are doing now, with what may happen to them in the 'real world'. My question to them is this...If you can't 'sell' yourself, how could you expect others to do it for you?
It is not about boasting, nor arrogance. Neither is it about self-glorification. It has a lot to do with one's level of confidence and self-assurance.
You really know yourself, and how to position your strengths. It is not about what you think you cannot do...it is more about how you acknowledge your weaknesses and flaws...and the steps you take to overcome them.
It's funny how we sometimes put a ceiling on our abilities...we think we are not capable of achieving something, and sooner or later, that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"I think I cannot...thus I don't...and soon I really can't.." Why?
It takes hard work to hone in your skills...to be good at what you do. But alas, in a age of instant gratification, we do not allow ourselves the time, and space to sharpen and develop our talents; and thus we feel dishearten quite easily, and become envious of others...whom we think are more clever, more beautiful, more ______(fill in the blanks)...but really?
Learn to believe in yourself..in your gifts...in your own capabilities. The 'comparison game' is out there true..but it is for you to set a benchmark or a target to reach...not to wallow in self-pity or envy when we think we cannot get within our grasp...
I do hope that you have been able to discover yourself these past few days. I know I have...and I am also learning a lot more about how I want to go about finding my dreams again.
I really hope you dance ...(and not just in your dreams, like me)
I really wanted them to make the connection between the things they are doing now, with what may happen to them in the 'real world'. My question to them is this...If you can't 'sell' yourself, how could you expect others to do it for you?
It is not about boasting, nor arrogance. Neither is it about self-glorification. It has a lot to do with one's level of confidence and self-assurance.
You really know yourself, and how to position your strengths. It is not about what you think you cannot do...it is more about how you acknowledge your weaknesses and flaws...and the steps you take to overcome them.
It's funny how we sometimes put a ceiling on our abilities...we think we are not capable of achieving something, and sooner or later, that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"I think I cannot...thus I don't...and soon I really can't.." Why?
It takes hard work to hone in your skills...to be good at what you do. But alas, in a age of instant gratification, we do not allow ourselves the time, and space to sharpen and develop our talents; and thus we feel dishearten quite easily, and become envious of others...whom we think are more clever, more beautiful, more ______(fill in the blanks)...but really?
Learn to believe in yourself..in your gifts...in your own capabilities. The 'comparison game' is out there true..but it is for you to set a benchmark or a target to reach...not to wallow in self-pity or envy when we think we cannot get within our grasp...
I do hope that you have been able to discover yourself these past few days. I know I have...and I am also learning a lot more about how I want to go about finding my dreams again.
I really hope you dance ...(and not just in your dreams, like me)
Monday, January 19, 2009
When One Door Closes,...another opens
Wow...wow...wow...
It has been a truly blessed day.
From the steady stream of smses on the handphone, to the big hugs at home, the flowers on the table (thanks ladies), the song in class (haha 4e1), the cake (Naz, Nisa & Rin)...and the long list of heartwarming messages on Facebook. Of course more cakes at home...and more chocolates coming my way.
Things happen for a reason.
How different my mood is now, compared to the feeling I had when I fell into the deep abyss last Monday. While there remains a tinge of sadness, and regrets...I realise how much strength I can draw from those who rally around me.
I may be on my way to leaving a deathbed legacy...in the idea of how so many of the kids out there have grown from strength to strength.
A special note to Namira...if I can borrow this phrase.."Positive reinvention"...those who dare to dream...and believe...and look for good and hope...will be able to pick themselves up faster. Thank you sweetiee, for alerting me to this.
Dear God...on this day...thank you for making me feel special...in your protection, and all those whom I love.
The one who lost the way...find the right door home...
It has been a truly blessed day.
From the steady stream of smses on the handphone, to the big hugs at home, the flowers on the table (thanks ladies), the song in class (haha 4e1), the cake (Naz, Nisa & Rin)...and the long list of heartwarming messages on Facebook. Of course more cakes at home...and more chocolates coming my way.
Things happen for a reason.
How different my mood is now, compared to the feeling I had when I fell into the deep abyss last Monday. While there remains a tinge of sadness, and regrets...I realise how much strength I can draw from those who rally around me.
I may be on my way to leaving a deathbed legacy...in the idea of how so many of the kids out there have grown from strength to strength.
A special note to Namira...if I can borrow this phrase.."Positive reinvention"...those who dare to dream...and believe...and look for good and hope...will be able to pick themselves up faster. Thank you sweetiee, for alerting me to this.
Dear God...on this day...thank you for making me feel special...in your protection, and all those whom I love.
The one who lost the way...find the right door home...
Saturday, January 17, 2009
As the Sand falls through the Hourglass
Val Chan passed a remark that reminded me of a truly great poem by Dylan Thomas...and again, it played on my mind as I move up a notch in terms of age.
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
- Dylan Thomas -
Modern technology has done many things...but Man still has to grapple with Mortality. That is something that beyond our control. Time and tide waits for no Man...so what do I have to 'show' for my life, and what can I bring with me in the hereafter?
One question that I remember being posed to me was "What deathbed legacy do I want to leave behind?" I suppose my children whom I hope have been raised as decent human beings...and I just wish to be remembered fondly by those who lives have gently touched mine.
And when the sands of time run out...do not be sad, and there are no regrets...
(A little bd wish...can I find the lost sheep? Come back...come back)
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
- Dylan Thomas -
Modern technology has done many things...but Man still has to grapple with Mortality. That is something that beyond our control. Time and tide waits for no Man...so what do I have to 'show' for my life, and what can I bring with me in the hereafter?
One question that I remember being posed to me was "What deathbed legacy do I want to leave behind?" I suppose my children whom I hope have been raised as decent human beings...and I just wish to be remembered fondly by those who lives have gently touched mine.
And when the sands of time run out...do not be sad, and there are no regrets...
(A little bd wish...can I find the lost sheep? Come back...come back)
What Teens Want
Today, while the Sec 1 students were busy being enticed by the various CCA groups, some parents stayed behind in the school hall to listen to a talk by Mr Roger Ho on "Riding the Storm of Adolescent." I sat in for a while to pick up a tip or two.
I had initially laughed at the rather dramatic title:- it was as if the moment children reached teenhood, we parents have a turbulent tempest on our hands who will turn our lives upside down. Yet, upon reflection, and based on the experiences with the many kids, many parents are unprepared to deal with the impending storm.
The adolescent years can indeed be trying - personal emotional upheavals brought on by puberty and raging hormones, a need to seek a personal identity, social pressures, responsibilities and obligations...a whole range. Not quite ready to be adult, and no longer a child, a teen wants to be understood and supported.
Here are some other things which I have read and observed about teens. (You can correct me if you want to). So here is an open letter from a teen to his parents. (It is created...but I hope it will drive the message home...for both the child, and parents)
Dear old-fashioned and uncool Mum and Dad,
Yo...I am so big now...not 5 nor 3. I have outgrown my Power Rangers underwear and my Spiderman pajamas. But that does not mean I want to wear hand-me-downs from Dad's wardrobe. No...I am not an Ah Pek in training...and there is nothing wrong if I want to dye my hair copper red and wear my fringe wrong...That is called 'style'. Even if my slippers do not match, and my jeans have holes, I still think they are a lot better Dad's striped boxers and singlet.
I live in an age where men and women are equals. So do not laugh if I decide to get my ears pierced or wear bangles and cuffs. I am not gay..hey , Scotmen wear kilts, so how come we never question their masculinity? Since we are on this topic, I may decide to also have a little tattoo...with both of your names engraved on my chest to show that I still love you.
I know retro music is in...but I really draw the line when you make me listen to Mama Mia for the nth time...and the only air supply I need is the oxygen to breathe. I think because you cannot seem to tolerate my choice of hip songs, I will buy both of you the huge headphones on your birthdays (provided you give extra pocket money).
I cannot understand why lately you are beginning to nag at me about 'growing up' and responsibilities. When I was little, you did everything for me...and you even made the maid carry my bag to school and wash my shoes. I have never even practised cleaning my own room. So why the big deal now when you yourself make poor aunty clean your car twice a day, and wash the window every week?
Dad, when I was younger, you said I must learn to be "a man". You said, a 'real man' never cries, and a real man must fight back if he feels he is victimised. So why do you get so uptight when I shout back at you? You are the one who told me to fight for my rights. So when it feels that you are being unreasonable and unfair to me, I am only defending myself. How can you scold me and tell me not to raise my voice, when you are yelling at me too? Where is the fairness?
Sometimes both of you confuse me. You want me to try and learn new things, but when I do, you react in shock and horror. One minute you want to be independent, the next it feels like you want to lock me up in the house forever. You want me to explore all possibilities in life, but suffocate me with all the ultra-strict rules and regulations. You say all the things you do for me is because you love, and yet...why is it that lately, you want to drive me away with your condemnation and lack of understanding?
Well, here are the more serious stuff I wish I can tell you.
I wish you would encourage and support me...instead of telling me "I told you" when I make mistakes. If you do have to reprimand me, please do it in private, or one-to-one. Do not let announce to the whole world about 'my stupidity'
I wish you would listen to my opinions too instead of forcing yours down my throat. Do not complain when I learnt to do the same to you. I pick up my values from you.
I wish you would spend some time for me...you keep telling me that you are always busy with work...to support and give me things...but I rather have some of your personal time...so I know I am important in your life.
I wish you would accept me for who I am ... and what I am...instead of trying to turn me into what you had dreamt for yourself. And please do not compare me with others...for I feel very small when I realise I cannot live up to your expectations.
I wish you would talk to me about the things I do right or wrong, rationally, because I respond better without the naggings and hurtful comments.
I wish you will always never stop saying "I love you", and that you are proud of me -for no matter how old I grow, I want to be assured of that.
Love from
Your tired and confused teenaged child
1.
I had initially laughed at the rather dramatic title:- it was as if the moment children reached teenhood, we parents have a turbulent tempest on our hands who will turn our lives upside down. Yet, upon reflection, and based on the experiences with the many kids, many parents are unprepared to deal with the impending storm.
The adolescent years can indeed be trying - personal emotional upheavals brought on by puberty and raging hormones, a need to seek a personal identity, social pressures, responsibilities and obligations...a whole range. Not quite ready to be adult, and no longer a child, a teen wants to be understood and supported.
Here are some other things which I have read and observed about teens. (You can correct me if you want to). So here is an open letter from a teen to his parents. (It is created...but I hope it will drive the message home...for both the child, and parents)
Dear old-fashioned and uncool Mum and Dad,
Yo...I am so big now...not 5 nor 3. I have outgrown my Power Rangers underwear and my Spiderman pajamas. But that does not mean I want to wear hand-me-downs from Dad's wardrobe. No...I am not an Ah Pek in training...and there is nothing wrong if I want to dye my hair copper red and wear my fringe wrong...That is called 'style'. Even if my slippers do not match, and my jeans have holes, I still think they are a lot better Dad's striped boxers and singlet.
I live in an age where men and women are equals. So do not laugh if I decide to get my ears pierced or wear bangles and cuffs. I am not gay..hey , Scotmen wear kilts, so how come we never question their masculinity? Since we are on this topic, I may decide to also have a little tattoo...with both of your names engraved on my chest to show that I still love you.
I know retro music is in...but I really draw the line when you make me listen to Mama Mia for the nth time...and the only air supply I need is the oxygen to breathe. I think because you cannot seem to tolerate my choice of hip songs, I will buy both of you the huge headphones on your birthdays (provided you give extra pocket money).
I cannot understand why lately you are beginning to nag at me about 'growing up' and responsibilities. When I was little, you did everything for me...and you even made the maid carry my bag to school and wash my shoes. I have never even practised cleaning my own room. So why the big deal now when you yourself make poor aunty clean your car twice a day, and wash the window every week?
Dad, when I was younger, you said I must learn to be "a man". You said, a 'real man' never cries, and a real man must fight back if he feels he is victimised. So why do you get so uptight when I shout back at you? You are the one who told me to fight for my rights. So when it feels that you are being unreasonable and unfair to me, I am only defending myself. How can you scold me and tell me not to raise my voice, when you are yelling at me too? Where is the fairness?
Sometimes both of you confuse me. You want me to try and learn new things, but when I do, you react in shock and horror. One minute you want to be independent, the next it feels like you want to lock me up in the house forever. You want me to explore all possibilities in life, but suffocate me with all the ultra-strict rules and regulations. You say all the things you do for me is because you love, and yet...why is it that lately, you want to drive me away with your condemnation and lack of understanding?
Well, here are the more serious stuff I wish I can tell you.
I wish you would encourage and support me...instead of telling me "I told you" when I make mistakes. If you do have to reprimand me, please do it in private, or one-to-one. Do not let announce to the whole world about 'my stupidity'
I wish you would listen to my opinions too instead of forcing yours down my throat. Do not complain when I learnt to do the same to you. I pick up my values from you.
I wish you would spend some time for me...you keep telling me that you are always busy with work...to support and give me things...but I rather have some of your personal time...so I know I am important in your life.
I wish you would accept me for who I am ... and what I am...instead of trying to turn me into what you had dreamt for yourself. And please do not compare me with others...for I feel very small when I realise I cannot live up to your expectations.
I wish you would talk to me about the things I do right or wrong, rationally, because I respond better without the naggings and hurtful comments.
I wish you will always never stop saying "I love you", and that you are proud of me -for no matter how old I grow, I want to be assured of that.
Love from
Your tired and confused teenaged child
1.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Preparing for War...Again
I once said, if we lose a battle, it does not mean that we will go on to lose the war. That is a lesson I hope I am able to re-learn.
Yes, I got beaten...but I am yet to be checkmated....but only if I learn to pick myself up again. I may have to retreat for a while, lie low, and allow the wounds to heal. And while I try to recover, it is the time to reflect and re-think of the next moves.
A defeat is never sweet...
I read somewhere that within each and everyone of us, there is a pain thermometer with a scale of 1-10. Each trauma will hit a certain number which can leave us despondent, and anguished. But many a time, we will not do anything about the pain because of fear. We try to tolerate...and we try to bear...as long as we can. However, if the pain hits a 10...only then will we be able to shake off the paralysing fear, and do something about it.
Did I hit a 10? I think so.
All the years of hard work, and sweet success had come undone...It did feel like being jolted by a quake and then engulfed by a tsunami. And the natural instinct was to take flight...or find a hole and hide.
But I am not a coward...I think I am not one to jump ship or bail out. A captain can go down with an ailing ship...or he can roll up his sleeves and start bailing the water...whatever it takes.
I have stood up, and be held accountable.
But to be fair...I have not been offered the sword...so there is still shreds of hope and faith left.
The Samurai code...and now...I am learning something new too...Ji (from Sun Tzu's Art of War). I am preparing to go for many uphill battles...so with 'Tao'. 'Tien', 'Di', 'Jiang' and 'Fa'...I may learn to be ready.
Dear God,
Please give me strength of mind and spirit, and the moral courage to go on.--Ameen
Yes, I got beaten...but I am yet to be checkmated....but only if I learn to pick myself up again. I may have to retreat for a while, lie low, and allow the wounds to heal. And while I try to recover, it is the time to reflect and re-think of the next moves.
A defeat is never sweet...
I read somewhere that within each and everyone of us, there is a pain thermometer with a scale of 1-10. Each trauma will hit a certain number which can leave us despondent, and anguished. But many a time, we will not do anything about the pain because of fear. We try to tolerate...and we try to bear...as long as we can. However, if the pain hits a 10...only then will we be able to shake off the paralysing fear, and do something about it.
Did I hit a 10? I think so.
All the years of hard work, and sweet success had come undone...It did feel like being jolted by a quake and then engulfed by a tsunami. And the natural instinct was to take flight...or find a hole and hide.
But I am not a coward...I think I am not one to jump ship or bail out. A captain can go down with an ailing ship...or he can roll up his sleeves and start bailing the water...whatever it takes.
I have stood up, and be held accountable.
But to be fair...I have not been offered the sword...so there is still shreds of hope and faith left.
The Samurai code...and now...I am learning something new too...Ji (from Sun Tzu's Art of War). I am preparing to go for many uphill battles...so with 'Tao'. 'Tien', 'Di', 'Jiang' and 'Fa'...I may learn to be ready.
Dear God,
Please give me strength of mind and spirit, and the moral courage to go on.--Ameen
Thursday, January 15, 2009
When One Door Closes...
I am not quite ready to write long entries. I know I am going to stand by the things I have said, and written on this blog. I must remember the things I have said about being resolute, and resilient...and how life does go on despite the setbacks we face.
I am so glad, and gratified, by the numerous messages of hope and encouragement my kids out there have given me when times became difficult. I am touched by the concern and kindness bestowed. They really have given me some strength, and restored some self-esteem.
A lot of my kids have grown into beautiful young people, of great hearts and minds. Thank you...thank you....thank you...
I am so glad, and gratified, by the numerous messages of hope and encouragement my kids out there have given me when times became difficult. I am touched by the concern and kindness bestowed. They really have given me some strength, and restored some self-esteem.
A lot of my kids have grown into beautiful young people, of great hearts and minds. Thank you...thank you....thank you...
Monday, January 12, 2009
Accountability on Judgment Day
I finally understand the way of the samurais: - their ethics and code of honour. I also understand the act of harakiri practised in the ancient rituals. Seppuku was seen as a noble act...to 'die' with honour, and to atone for one's unforgivable acts.
Of course, nothing meant more to these special group of men who upheld "Bushido" - a special code of conduct. Values like integrity,loyalty, courage and wisdom are all part of their make up. In short, they are bound by these values and are made to be accountable for their actions.
What does the above got to do with the event of the day?
Plenty.
It has been a day of great reckoning...of personal responsibilities and whether or not I have been able to carry out the 'amanah' placed upon me. I fell short...and now, I think there is a price to pay.
Yes...I bear the consequences. There is no running away from it. I will be held accountable. I apologise for all the shortcomings, and I will pay the heavy price...which I readily accept...
Shock does strange things to a person. That would explain why, when the scarf came off, I found a streak of white on my head. I literally aged upon hearing the news. But that is still nothing. More will be needed. But before I leave, I promise, that I will do my very best to make up for my folly, and that the mistakes will not be repeated.
I am sorry that I have let you down.
Of course, nothing meant more to these special group of men who upheld "Bushido" - a special code of conduct. Values like integrity,loyalty, courage and wisdom are all part of their make up. In short, they are bound by these values and are made to be accountable for their actions.
What does the above got to do with the event of the day?
Plenty.
It has been a day of great reckoning...of personal responsibilities and whether or not I have been able to carry out the 'amanah' placed upon me. I fell short...and now, I think there is a price to pay.
Yes...I bear the consequences. There is no running away from it. I will be held accountable. I apologise for all the shortcomings, and I will pay the heavy price...which I readily accept...
Shock does strange things to a person. That would explain why, when the scarf came off, I found a streak of white on my head. I literally aged upon hearing the news. But that is still nothing. More will be needed. But before I leave, I promise, that I will do my very best to make up for my folly, and that the mistakes will not be repeated.
I am sorry that I have let you down.
Friday, January 9, 2009
We Came, We Saw, We....Conquered?
D-Day. I know it does not even come close to the Battle of Normandy, but I guess, the description is apt enough for the turmoil and anticipation of many who are waiting for the results.
It is not a time for regrets...It is not a time for what if's. Even though, this is when we will clearly get to see if the adages of 'what goes around, comes around' , and 'you reap what you sow' are true.
Based on experience, I say, it is not.
I have seen the determination and perservance of some who put their heart and soul into what they really hope to achieve. There are others, blessed with good brains and a pinch of luck, who are able to get by with minimum effort. Come D-Day on Monday, it is likely that for some, history may repeat itself.
In my eyes, I can distinguish between those who have won the battle, ... and those who will go on to win the war. A victory in life, is not marked by one episodic win...for in life...there are many, many other things which will mark out the great hero. Those who stumble, may push themselves on...and go on to make a more lasting mark.
"'So it's not just scoring in examinations that would bring you a good life...Some people are good with their hands, some are good with thinking out problems, and an economy needs all kinds of talented people.'
And so these students include those who 'do not necessarily do well in universities but will do well in life'.
'That's a concentration (to) which I think we should give,' he said."
The words above were quoted from non other than MM Lee on his recent visit to Nanyang Polytechnic recently. Not bad from a leader who skilfully moulded the nation which places great emphasis on meritocracy.
Whatever the outcomes of the results may be on Monday, it is time for many of you to think ahead of the next step. If you do well, (which I pray you will), I will applaud and congratulate you. If you don't, please remember that it is not the end of the road.
Resilience, persistence and determination will propel you to meet the next set of challenge. I hope you will go ahead and make your mark in the world. All the best.
Dear God,
Today, I pray for hope and blessings. Calm the minds and hearts of the many kids out there who are nervous and probably frightened. Reward those who have put in effort, and support those who have tried, but perhaps, have greater things you have in store for them, even though they may be disappointed. Fill them with courage and strength, and make them stoic and resolute. I pray that each and every one of them will do well, and be proud of themselves.
I pray that Zafran does well, for I have seen how hard he works. Let him know that no matter what he gets, I will always be proud of him. Bless also his special friend, Namira, who has given him a lot of motivation and support to give his best. I pray that the special kids C, E & J will do exceptionally well (so that all their dreams and special wishes will come true)...and bless the class of 2008...Ameen.
It is not a time for regrets...It is not a time for what if's. Even though, this is when we will clearly get to see if the adages of 'what goes around, comes around' , and 'you reap what you sow' are true.
Based on experience, I say, it is not.
I have seen the determination and perservance of some who put their heart and soul into what they really hope to achieve. There are others, blessed with good brains and a pinch of luck, who are able to get by with minimum effort. Come D-Day on Monday, it is likely that for some, history may repeat itself.
In my eyes, I can distinguish between those who have won the battle, ... and those who will go on to win the war. A victory in life, is not marked by one episodic win...for in life...there are many, many other things which will mark out the great hero. Those who stumble, may push themselves on...and go on to make a more lasting mark.
"'So it's not just scoring in examinations that would bring you a good life...Some people are good with their hands, some are good with thinking out problems, and an economy needs all kinds of talented people.'
And so these students include those who 'do not necessarily do well in universities but will do well in life'.
'That's a concentration (to) which I think we should give,' he said."
The words above were quoted from non other than MM Lee on his recent visit to Nanyang Polytechnic recently. Not bad from a leader who skilfully moulded the nation which places great emphasis on meritocracy.
Whatever the outcomes of the results may be on Monday, it is time for many of you to think ahead of the next step. If you do well, (which I pray you will), I will applaud and congratulate you. If you don't, please remember that it is not the end of the road.
Resilience, persistence and determination will propel you to meet the next set of challenge. I hope you will go ahead and make your mark in the world. All the best.
Dear God,
Today, I pray for hope and blessings. Calm the minds and hearts of the many kids out there who are nervous and probably frightened. Reward those who have put in effort, and support those who have tried, but perhaps, have greater things you have in store for them, even though they may be disappointed. Fill them with courage and strength, and make them stoic and resolute. I pray that each and every one of them will do well, and be proud of themselves.
I pray that Zafran does well, for I have seen how hard he works. Let him know that no matter what he gets, I will always be proud of him. Bless also his special friend, Namira, who has given him a lot of motivation and support to give his best. I pray that the special kids C, E & J will do exceptionally well (so that all their dreams and special wishes will come true)...and bless the class of 2008...Ameen.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Falling in Love ...with Words - The Lost Art of Love Letters
I wanted to start the year on a right note, and was cracking my brains to find things to teach and do so that the kids in school would be in the right frame of mind to learn. How to excite them? How to get them to enjoy lessons...and not say, "Oh no...not the boring stuff again."
If you want something the teens will find interesting, you have to think like a teen. In today's high-tech age, language has taken a back seat. Instead of being the best form of communication, words have been relegated to images and visuals.
Anyway, through a series of letters, I tried to coax the kids into believing that the dictionary is indeed an exciting tool that would broaden language skills. And introducing them to the varied idiomatic expressions hopefully, will encourage them to colour their writing. Of course, for 4E1...how to handle texts with 'finesse', and 4E4...to temper the tone with dry wit.
And of course, I hope that the kids will realise how beautiful letter writing can me...a simple love letter. With the right words, carefully thought phrases, and heartfelt emotions, you will melt any young girl's heart.
So how boys? Ready to learn how to woo? (hahahaha)
If you want something the teens will find interesting, you have to think like a teen. In today's high-tech age, language has taken a back seat. Instead of being the best form of communication, words have been relegated to images and visuals.
Anyway, through a series of letters, I tried to coax the kids into believing that the dictionary is indeed an exciting tool that would broaden language skills. And introducing them to the varied idiomatic expressions hopefully, will encourage them to colour their writing. Of course, for 4E1...how to handle texts with 'finesse', and 4E4...to temper the tone with dry wit.
And of course, I hope that the kids will realise how beautiful letter writing can me...a simple love letter. With the right words, carefully thought phrases, and heartfelt emotions, you will melt any young girl's heart.
So how boys? Ready to learn how to woo? (hahahaha)
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Day I Met...."the other woman"
The Day I Met..."The Other Woman"
(Confessions of a Harried Mum Part II)
I am getting old.
It is not because I know that the dreaded digits will jump in another few days.
It is not because of the pesky white hair that are sprouting all over my head.
It is not because of the wrinkles and excess flabby tissues on the body that are beginning to to go out of control.
It's official...I am old, because my son...my baby...has decided to introduce me to someone he acknowledges as his GF!
I thought that all the 'rehearsals' I had before this would prepare me for DDAY. After all, the 'special kids' have regularly been introducing me to their girlfriends or boyfriends as the first layer of screening before they take these people home to meet their mothers. Hahaha...if the person pass through me, then it is not likely that the mother at home, will object...(Note to K...please do not show me any more girls...I will only meet the girl who has your name on the marriage cert ok?!!!)
Alright...those of you who have read the earlier entries would know how I handled Zafran when he first broke the news...(panic...panic...breathe...breathe...it is not as if he is announcing that he is getting hitched!). As long as I can see that he is not mooning or lovestruck ( I would have hung him upside down)...this mother is 'cool'. He does tell me when he goes out on dates, and I can expect him to be home at the time he promised to be back...(and so far, no heart attacks for me)
Then...he wanted me to meet HER!
(Breathe....breathe...breathe...inhale...exhale).
Alamak...How?....What?...You want to bring her home?...
(Breathe...breathe...breathe...hey...hey...be cool...cool...)
That was the hardest thing I can to do (and maybe...the pain did hit hard)...My baby is growing up, and I have to accept that pretty soon, there is another woman in his life besides me. (My baby...the one I carried for nine months...my little...aiyah...do drama...!kekeke...these were the thoughts that flashed through my head).
But as I looked at him, his bated breath; his face eager to seek understanding and support, I remembered something he had earlier told me. "Don't you trust that you have raised me right?"
So...after hemming and hawing, I relented.
I got to meet HER...and I realised she was just as unnerved as I was.
(hahaha....I will write about the actual meeting which took place during the holidays another time.)
Ah....I can breathe....
(Confessions of a Harried Mum Part II)
I am getting old.
It is not because I know that the dreaded digits will jump in another few days.
It is not because of the pesky white hair that are sprouting all over my head.
It is not because of the wrinkles and excess flabby tissues on the body that are beginning to to go out of control.
It's official...I am old, because my son...my baby...has decided to introduce me to someone he acknowledges as his GF!
I thought that all the 'rehearsals' I had before this would prepare me for DDAY. After all, the 'special kids' have regularly been introducing me to their girlfriends or boyfriends as the first layer of screening before they take these people home to meet their mothers. Hahaha...if the person pass through me, then it is not likely that the mother at home, will object...(Note to K...please do not show me any more girls...I will only meet the girl who has your name on the marriage cert ok?!!!)
Alright...those of you who have read the earlier entries would know how I handled Zafran when he first broke the news...(panic...panic...breathe...breathe...it is not as if he is announcing that he is getting hitched!). As long as I can see that he is not mooning or lovestruck ( I would have hung him upside down)...this mother is 'cool'. He does tell me when he goes out on dates, and I can expect him to be home at the time he promised to be back...(and so far, no heart attacks for me)
Then...he wanted me to meet HER!
(Breathe....breathe...breathe...inhale...exhale).
Alamak...How?....What?...You want to bring her home?...
(Breathe...breathe...breathe...hey...hey...be cool...cool...)
That was the hardest thing I can to do (and maybe...the pain did hit hard)...My baby is growing up, and I have to accept that pretty soon, there is another woman in his life besides me. (My baby...the one I carried for nine months...my little...aiyah...do drama...!kekeke...these were the thoughts that flashed through my head).
But as I looked at him, his bated breath; his face eager to seek understanding and support, I remembered something he had earlier told me. "Don't you trust that you have raised me right?"
So...after hemming and hawing, I relented.
I got to meet HER...and I realised she was just as unnerved as I was.
(hahaha....I will write about the actual meeting which took place during the holidays another time.)
Ah....I can breathe....
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Responsibilty & Accountabilty
Responsibility & Accountability
I am back to 3 words I live by - Choice, Attitude & Responsibility.
Last week, someone reminded me that when I have all 3 in place, only then that I can face accountability with courage when things go right; or wrong.
This is a timely reminded to myself as I begin the year, and reach out to the new group of charges I have under me.
Choice
There is always a choice in life...no matter how good or bad things get. Sometimes, circumstances may not be favourable, and the odds are working against me, but I must try to keep reminding myself to choose to do the right thing at that moment.
At the moment, there are some things which upset me...especially with certain individuals...my special kids... But I will now choose to take and step back and not say anything...Since these kids are the 'chosen'ones...maybe this is a test.
Attitude
Well, the choice affects the attitude.
Though our emotions affect our thoughts and inner self, we can still have some form of self-control and keep them in check. It's tough...there is no one who is always happy ever moment; and again, no one is always low, bitter and angry. It is an exercise of the will.
Responsibility
I constantly have to remind myself of the different roles I have to play...and the weight of responsibility I shoulder. It is something that we cannot run away from...though sometimes, I wish it is so easy to say "It's not my problem; it is not my responsibility."
As humans in this world...we all have very strong responsibilities
- to our own self, as a living, feeling, caring, empathatic individual
- to our family and friends
- to our society , and the larger community of the world; as a global citizen.
I hope, by the end of the year, I will be able to do some self-audit.
Can I be accountable for all my actions?
Can I be held responsible for the things that happen to me and all those around me?
I do hope...that I would have a clear conscience.
(God give me courage and strength...please)
I am back to 3 words I live by - Choice, Attitude & Responsibility.
Last week, someone reminded me that when I have all 3 in place, only then that I can face accountability with courage when things go right; or wrong.
This is a timely reminded to myself as I begin the year, and reach out to the new group of charges I have under me.
Choice
There is always a choice in life...no matter how good or bad things get. Sometimes, circumstances may not be favourable, and the odds are working against me, but I must try to keep reminding myself to choose to do the right thing at that moment.
At the moment, there are some things which upset me...especially with certain individuals...my special kids... But I will now choose to take and step back and not say anything...Since these kids are the 'chosen'ones...maybe this is a test.
Attitude
Well, the choice affects the attitude.
Though our emotions affect our thoughts and inner self, we can still have some form of self-control and keep them in check. It's tough...there is no one who is always happy ever moment; and again, no one is always low, bitter and angry. It is an exercise of the will.
Responsibility
I constantly have to remind myself of the different roles I have to play...and the weight of responsibility I shoulder. It is something that we cannot run away from...though sometimes, I wish it is so easy to say "It's not my problem; it is not my responsibility."
As humans in this world...we all have very strong responsibilities
- to our own self, as a living, feeling, caring, empathatic individual
- to our family and friends
- to our society , and the larger community of the world; as a global citizen.
I hope, by the end of the year, I will be able to do some self-audit.
Can I be accountable for all my actions?
Can I be held responsible for the things that happen to me and all those around me?
I do hope...that I would have a clear conscience.
(God give me courage and strength...please)
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Chicken & Egg Debate: A Twist
Chicken & Egg Debate: A Twisted Tale
I know I had written my entry for the day; but what happened over dinner is too good not to record down.
First I must apologise if the content is going to offend some people, but lets take it in the spirit of learning.
I was so tired after school to cook dinner, so my hubby heated up something. Earlier, I had skipped lunch, so I was famish. I sat on the kitchen floor, bingeing on on sambal crisps and pepsi twist (tsk..tsk..tsk).Anyway, the kids saw me, and decided to scoop hot rice with some rendang. In the midst of things, the conversation took a strange turn.
Me: OMG...do you know how much the chicken parts cost now?
Hubby: How much?
Me: One small chicken is almost $8.80...that's too much. (then I turned to the children)
Me: From today onward ok...we eat out less...whatever you want to eat, we try to cook it at home. You had enough treats during the holidays.
Sons: Ok mama
Daughter:...ok...ok...we eat more omelettes then.
Everyone: Huh? (where is the connection)
Daughter: Since chicken come from eggs, then eating eggs is like eating chicken.
Big son: No...not really the same. Those eggs are not fertilised. That's not chicken.
Daughter: If they mate...then we can get so many eggs what.
Me: Chickens do not need to mate to produce eggs.
Daughter: Oh...how come the chickens are not mating? How do we get so many eggs?
Husband: No lah...the chickens do 'mate' in order to produce the eggs.
Me: No...with chickens...it is not the same. That's why we just get egg....egg...
Husband: In the olden days (huh) we need the rooster....to produce eggs.
Big son: No lah...it's like when women and their monthly period...they produce just the egg...they release the egg...only chickens got more.
Daughter: Oh...you mean chickens also have periods? What do the farmers use for the chicken? Pads?
By then we were all rolling all over the floor in laughter...
So ...for now...I think, in my family, we shall abstain from eating chicken for the next few weeks.
Sigh...I will never be able to look at the chicken and an egg the same way again.
I know I had written my entry for the day; but what happened over dinner is too good not to record down.
First I must apologise if the content is going to offend some people, but lets take it in the spirit of learning.
I was so tired after school to cook dinner, so my hubby heated up something. Earlier, I had skipped lunch, so I was famish. I sat on the kitchen floor, bingeing on on sambal crisps and pepsi twist (tsk..tsk..tsk).Anyway, the kids saw me, and decided to scoop hot rice with some rendang. In the midst of things, the conversation took a strange turn.
Me: OMG...do you know how much the chicken parts cost now?
Hubby: How much?
Me: One small chicken is almost $8.80...that's too much. (then I turned to the children)
Me: From today onward ok...we eat out less...whatever you want to eat, we try to cook it at home. You had enough treats during the holidays.
Sons: Ok mama
Daughter:...ok...ok...we eat more omelettes then.
Everyone: Huh? (where is the connection)
Daughter: Since chicken come from eggs, then eating eggs is like eating chicken.
Big son: No...not really the same. Those eggs are not fertilised. That's not chicken.
Daughter: If they mate...then we can get so many eggs what.
Me: Chickens do not need to mate to produce eggs.
Daughter: Oh...how come the chickens are not mating? How do we get so many eggs?
Husband: No lah...the chickens do 'mate' in order to produce the eggs.
Me: No...with chickens...it is not the same. That's why we just get egg....egg...
Husband: In the olden days (huh) we need the rooster....to produce eggs.
Big son: No lah...it's like when women and their monthly period...they produce just the egg...they release the egg...only chickens got more.
Daughter: Oh...you mean chickens also have periods? What do the farmers use for the chicken? Pads?
By then we were all rolling all over the floor in laughter...
So ...for now...I think, in my family, we shall abstain from eating chicken for the next few weeks.
Sigh...I will never be able to look at the chicken and an egg the same way again.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Why Today Matters
Why Today Matters
Welcome back to reality.
Yup, today as we began the new academic year, it was fun to hear the noise and chatter again. What is a school without its students?
The changes have already been put in place, though it will be quite a while before we really get to see these changes taking effect. Most are good, I hope, for we really need to start off things on the right note. The tone has been set, and expectations are high.
I am doing a little reminder for myself (based on Maxwell's Today Matters)
Today...I will choose and display the right attitude (yes...yes...must appear sane)
Today...I will determine and act on IMPORTANT PRIORITIES (er...after this entry)
Today...I will eat...healthily (dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate right?)
Today...I will communicate with my family EXPLICITLY (nagging does not work)
Today...I will practice and develop good thinking (shoo...go away naughty thoughts)
Today...I will make and keep proper commitments (and not be the last minute optimist)
Today...I wll earn and manage my finances (sob...sob...Ben& Jerry's - a luxury now)
Today...I will embrace and practise good values ( patience...patience...breathe)
Today...I will seek and experience improvements(yea...my table is still clean)
If today, I act on these decisions and practise self-discipline,...then one day, I will see the compounding results of a day lived well.
There is really no short cut to success; no amount of good luck charms and amulets can guarantee us success. Life is never a bed of roses...It is those who work hard at life, that make their lives seem easy.
So, if I choose to lead my life by taking full responsibility for me, then I know that it will get me to the vision I have, of what I want my life to be.
2009 is a year of personal change...I am taking steps right now.
Welcome back to reality.
Yup, today as we began the new academic year, it was fun to hear the noise and chatter again. What is a school without its students?
The changes have already been put in place, though it will be quite a while before we really get to see these changes taking effect. Most are good, I hope, for we really need to start off things on the right note. The tone has been set, and expectations are high.
I am doing a little reminder for myself (based on Maxwell's Today Matters)
Today...I will choose and display the right attitude (yes...yes...must appear sane)
Today...I will determine and act on IMPORTANT PRIORITIES (er...after this entry)
Today...I will eat...healthily (dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate right?)
Today...I will communicate with my family EXPLICITLY (nagging does not work)
Today...I will practice and develop good thinking (shoo...go away naughty thoughts)
Today...I will make and keep proper commitments (and not be the last minute optimist)
Today...I wll earn and manage my finances (sob...sob...Ben& Jerry's - a luxury now)
Today...I will embrace and practise good values ( patience...patience...breathe)
Today...I will seek and experience improvements(yea...my table is still clean)
If today, I act on these decisions and practise self-discipline,...then one day, I will see the compounding results of a day lived well.
There is really no short cut to success; no amount of good luck charms and amulets can guarantee us success. Life is never a bed of roses...It is those who work hard at life, that make their lives seem easy.
So, if I choose to lead my life by taking full responsibility for me, then I know that it will get me to the vision I have, of what I want my life to be.
2009 is a year of personal change...I am taking steps right now.
The First Day
School Blues (Why it is not TGIF)
I think, after 20 years, I would be a seasoned pro. But the thought of starting a new school year still fills me with feelings of apprehension and nervousness. Maybe it's the thought of having to start everything almost anew...
Below is a funny poem about a teacher's thought that extracted from a well-known children' poet.
How to torture your Students
(Jane Pomazal & Bruce Lansky)
Start each day with a surprise quiz. Don't dismiss the class for recess until you've finished the lesson you're working on.
At the end of the day, hand out a huge assignment that's due the next day.
When a student says, "I have to go to the bathroom," say, "You should have gone this morning before you left home" or "You'll have to hold it in; it's time for the kindergarten to use the bathrooms."
Never call on students who have their hands up.
Only call on students who have no idea what's going on.
When a student asks you a question, say, "Look up the answer in a book." Don't bother to mention the name of the book in which the answer can be found.
When you read, go as fast as you can.
Skip a line or two, then ask questions about the passage to see if the students were listening.
When it's time for the students to read, call on someone who doesn't have a book.
When you hand out pencils, make sure they're dull and don't have erasers.
When you hand out books, make sure they're torn and tattered.
When preparing the students for a test, write all the information they'll need to know on the board.
Then stand in front of the board so they can't see what you've written.
As soon as you've finished discussing the test information, turn quickly and erase the board.
On the last day of school, hand out a surprise final exam.
Tell your students if they flunk it, they'll have to attend summer school-and if they flunk summer school, they'll have to repeat the grade.
Tell them you hope they all flunk because you like them so much and you wish they could be your students again next year.
Hmmm....some food for thought there..Hehehehe
While that is tongue-in-cheek, here is prayer that I found...which I feel may be more apt for tomorrow.
Teacher's Prayer
Author Unknown
God, Please help me,
To strengthen their voices,
bodies and minds,
To express their feelings and
control them sometimes,
To explore what's near
and venture afar,
But most important to love
who they are.
I guess I do love being with the kids in class...despite the challenges I sometimes face. It is fun being around young minds...who dare to question; to probe ; to seek understanding.
So I hope the kids will be kind to me tomorrow...and not notice the quake in my voice, and the shake in my limbs. But hey...I am ready to go...
I think, after 20 years, I would be a seasoned pro. But the thought of starting a new school year still fills me with feelings of apprehension and nervousness. Maybe it's the thought of having to start everything almost anew...
Below is a funny poem about a teacher's thought that extracted from a well-known children' poet.
How to torture your Students
(Jane Pomazal & Bruce Lansky)
Start each day with a surprise quiz. Don't dismiss the class for recess until you've finished the lesson you're working on.
At the end of the day, hand out a huge assignment that's due the next day.
When a student says, "I have to go to the bathroom," say, "You should have gone this morning before you left home" or "You'll have to hold it in; it's time for the kindergarten to use the bathrooms."
Never call on students who have their hands up.
Only call on students who have no idea what's going on.
When a student asks you a question, say, "Look up the answer in a book." Don't bother to mention the name of the book in which the answer can be found.
When you read, go as fast as you can.
Skip a line or two, then ask questions about the passage to see if the students were listening.
When it's time for the students to read, call on someone who doesn't have a book.
When you hand out pencils, make sure they're dull and don't have erasers.
When you hand out books, make sure they're torn and tattered.
When preparing the students for a test, write all the information they'll need to know on the board.
Then stand in front of the board so they can't see what you've written.
As soon as you've finished discussing the test information, turn quickly and erase the board.
On the last day of school, hand out a surprise final exam.
Tell your students if they flunk it, they'll have to attend summer school-and if they flunk summer school, they'll have to repeat the grade.
Tell them you hope they all flunk because you like them so much and you wish they could be your students again next year.
Hmmm....some food for thought there..Hehehehe
While that is tongue-in-cheek, here is prayer that I found...which I feel may be more apt for tomorrow.
Teacher's Prayer
Author Unknown
God, Please help me,
To strengthen their voices,
bodies and minds,
To express their feelings and
control them sometimes,
To explore what's near
and venture afar,
But most important to love
who they are.
I guess I do love being with the kids in class...despite the challenges I sometimes face. It is fun being around young minds...who dare to question; to probe ; to seek understanding.
So I hope the kids will be kind to me tomorrow...and not notice the quake in my voice, and the shake in my limbs. But hey...I am ready to go...
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