The First Day

School Blues (Why it is not TGIF)

I think, after 20 years, I would be a seasoned pro. But the thought of starting a new school year still fills me with feelings of apprehension and nervousness. Maybe it's the thought of having to start everything almost anew...

Below is a funny poem about a teacher's thought that extracted from a well-known children' poet.

How to torture your Students
(Jane Pomazal & Bruce Lansky)


Start each day with a surprise quiz. Don't dismiss the class for recess until you've finished the lesson you're working on.
At the end of the day, hand out a huge assignment that's due the next day.
When a student says, "I have to go to the bathroom," say, "You should have gone this morning before you left home" or "You'll have to hold it in; it's time for the kindergarten to use the bathrooms."

Never call on students who have their hands up.
Only call on students who have no idea what's going on.
When a student asks you a question, say, "Look up the answer in a book." Don't bother to mention the name of the book in which the answer can be found.

When you read, go as fast as you can.
Skip a line or two, then ask questions about the passage to see if the students were listening.

When it's time for the students to read, call on someone who doesn't have a book.

When you hand out pencils, make sure they're dull and don't have erasers.
When you hand out books, make sure they're torn and tattered.
When preparing the students for a test, write all the information they'll need to know on the board.
Then stand in front of the board so they can't see what you've written.
As soon as you've finished discussing the test information, turn quickly and erase the board.

On the last day of school, hand out a surprise final exam.
Tell your students if they flunk it, they'll have to attend summer school-and if they flunk summer school, they'll have to repeat the grade.
Tell them you hope they all flunk because you like them so much and you wish they could be your students again next year.


Hmmm....some food for thought there..Hehehehe
While that is tongue-in-cheek, here is prayer that I found...which I feel may be more apt for tomorrow.

Teacher's Prayer
Author Unknown

God, Please help me,
To strengthen their voices,
bodies and minds,
To express their feelings and
control them sometimes,
To explore what's near
and venture afar,
But most important to love
who they are.


I guess I do love being with the kids in class...despite the challenges I sometimes face. It is fun being around young minds...who dare to question; to probe ; to seek understanding.

So I hope the kids will be kind to me tomorrow...and not notice the quake in my voice, and the shake in my limbs. But hey...I am ready to go...