The Last Day...

I want to apologise before hand to those who read this entry. Some of you may find it a little morbid.

11 years ago, on this day, I lost my grandmother.
She was about 93 when she left us peacefully just after midnight.

A week before her passing, she was still up and about; the only problem was of course her mind. It was as if her stored files in her memory bank had been obliterated, and her capacity to remember things would last only for about 3 minutes.
Alzheimer's Disease robs you of your life in a different way.

When she developed a fever suddenly, and lay gaunt and lethargic, the family somehow knew that the end was near. She spoke of names we had never heard before, and seemed to be holding a conversation with her two brothers; both long gone.

How does one go about preparing for Death to come?
Some in the family wanted to send her to the hospital for the best medical care can offer, while another group felt that it was best to let God decide.

Within hours, the clan began our vigil, with prayers.
And as we watched her breathing get shallower, we were grateful that we got to say our goodbyes. I can't describe the feeling as I watched my aunts and uncles share quiet moments with her...a kiss, a caress, a gentle stroke on her head, or whispered words of thanks and forgiveness. And her favourite son...who knelt by her feet and kissed them poignantly.

When my turn came, I held the cold, clammy hands. Life was ebbing away.
"Nenek...sayang.." I choked.
I had never called her 'sayang' all these years...that term of affection had always been for my other beloved grandmother. Did it come too late?

I am blessed.
She opened her eyes momentarily. I am not sure what prompted that, or if her glazed eyes really 'saw' who I was...but I would like to believe that she heard me, and had granted me a last look.

She was blessed. As she breathed her last breaths, her entire brood was there, praying quietly, and each re-living the memories we had with her. We had time to say the things we wanted to say...and she left us very calmly...serene as if she was sleeping.

I really love you, Nenek...though I may not have said it often enough, or aloud enough.
And I pray, that when my time comes, I will be just as blessed as you.

Al-Fatihah.
(for Hjh Jaleha Md Amin)
Ameen