Sensory Defensive

I wrote in one of my earlier entries that a possible cause of my claustrophobia is that I 'suffer' from an affliction called sensory defensiveness.  Because the mind and body work together to operate the 'me' being, when one is out of alignment, everything else goes haywire itself.

We all know that instinctively, we respond to the 'fight, flight or freeze' responses when faced with certain circumstances. Our stress response is designed to help us survive an immediate threat.  But I suppose that when one is hyper-sensitive, the body keeps on releasing stress hormones all the time...and with that, the body, mind and soul get worn down very easily.

When I was younger, I was very much a 'gabra' person...easily excited and excitable.
Years of 'training' ...of how one has to behave in public especially has taught me to keep my emotions under control...in public.  That is why it sometimes look as though I am calm (haha), collected (hehe) and operate on an ultra-zen mode.(kekekeke).  But of course, all that pent-up stress need an outlet somewhere.

So anyway...here I am...nervy, edgy, jumpy.
It makes me mentally tired...and this chronic fatigue is literally exhausting.
So guess what?....time to find comfort food...with lots of chocs and B&Js.

Bad...real bad....
But like I said...I will fight.
Step one....breathe....breathe...breathe....
Write...write...write...(whine, whine, whine)

I feel so random today.
But glad that the mind seems to be working.

Things to do today.
1) clean my table (ok...partially)
2) tell someone...I love them.

So you...I do love and care about you.

That's a good start.

Dear God,
Today has been good.
Thank you.
Ameen